Is Marriage Just Crap ?

Nah I know you are happy and content.

 

You know it sis! I just get these crazy thoughts!

 

We all do Todd. It is called fantasy land. X

 

If your hungry, go home and eat lol

 

Yes maam!

 

Analogy Darling xx

 

No one crosses the same stream twice.
All beings are constantly changing; like waves on the oceans. The morning of your honeymoon, your wife is not the same bride who walked down the aisle with you yesterday; neither are you the same groom. The changes may be infinitesimally small, but they're there, and they're incremental and cumulative; they add up over time. Sometimes we grow together, sometimes we grow apart...especially if either part of the dyad failed to invest the hard work that is the cultivation of the requisite causes and conditions that give rise to and sustain marriages; which are not something fixed and unchanging, but something dynamic and living, ever changing and flowing forward...or dying and drying up. It's entirely possible for a marriage to have been the right thing to do at that moment in our lives, and separation or divorce the right thing to do at this present moment in or lives; both may be equally true, and assigning blame terribly unproductive, unless you're looking inward, attempting to learn from your own shortcomings so that you might do better next time.
"Soulmates" is a pernicious lie; there is no custom tailored, bespoke 'soulmate' created just for you in this off-the-rack world, and comparing your mate and your experience to the myths and fairy tales promulgated by the cloying simplistic romanticism of maudlin sonnets and love songs is a sure way to compound your disappointment, disillusionment, and suffering.

 

True love is not predictable if both people aren't honest about it existing. One side might constantly insist that the other loves them not and so is planting the seeds of distrust and cheating in to the relationship as a control mechanism and plot to increase enjoyment for themselves. It is usually to drive the spouse down to the ground or cut them down to size. If you are that spouse you start thinking that the cold fish is showing a cruel streak and the explanation has to be nefarious relations that they do not know about..cheating. It isn't unpredictable and eventually it becomes the fault of that spouse by dictator decree or ineffective defense.

Eventually that gets over-turned as ridiculous because what causes the transfer is accusations made by the non-cheating spouse gets viewed as the disloyal and concrete proof. Then if you have any issues that should be covered by the "contract" of the vow you find that the cheater is simply rejecting compliance. I speak of it as though it is established but it is among the insecure who are wanting control. Otherwise it is the cold hearted who will crash the marriage of the road. Public opinion is typically going to be against the non-cheating as isolation causes that.

 

This thread been up quite a few years now, huh? I guess everything's been said.

Well, my answer is: Maybe not just crap. But crap for the most part.

 

Sorry to hear that. Mine's crap sometimes but mostly good. It's hard, that's for sure but the best things in life are.

 

I really feel sorry all of those of you who've been burned by marriage. My wife and I are coming up on our 44th anniversary and the whole stretch has been pretty great! In my personal experience, most people who are sour on marriage have never tried working to keep one perking along. Marriage is not a skate, you have to keep your back into it from wedding to funeral. If you're not willing to put out that effort, then marriage clearly isn't for you.

 

You're absolutely right. What if we had the same attitude towards our children that we have to our spouse and just bailed on them anytime things got tough? I fear that's where our society is headed.

 

Yep. There's not whole lotta women like yours out there anymore.

 

Sure wish I had that kind of girth to give a lady.

 

I don't see many people who seem to be able to experience passion.

 

Just remember;
No matter how intelligent, humorous, creative, and attractive they are, somebody somewhere is sick of their shit.

 

Terrance Popp sells us marriage.

 

Like most everything else---you get back what you put in. I wasn't very good at it--but that was my fault.