Is it rude to bring up “Exes” in a relationship? Or best to not talk about it?

I personally don’t date much or try to make big connections with mates or anything: But say if you are in a relationship with a “Boyfriend/girlfriend” whatever the case maybe: Is it rude to address their “history” or bring up their past “Ex relationships”? Or ask them about who they dated or saw before they started seeing you?? How do people usually react when that happens? Would you just tell the person: “Sorry, can we please leave my past out of this? Don’t feel right or comfortable talking about old relationships.”???

 

My wife's exes were all in college, and I met all of them. She told them she was committed to me and was dating them just for fun, so they had to check me out as their competition. She doesn't mind talking about them and her relationships with them.

 

I definitely don't mind either speaking or listening to my spouses past with others, however, my wife does not want to do this and would certainly bulk at meeting any of my ex's. I received an 80th birthday card from an ex and my wife nearly hit the wall when I said I wanted to meet her and take her out for lunch. Having not seen her for many years I was keen to catch up, end result was we met anyway and had a great old chat. I came away thinking I had dodged a bullet as she had not aged kindly and she treated the waiter like a piece of shit when he brought out our lunch and my plate was bigger than hers! She made a huge scene about it in a packed restaurant causing the owner to try and calm things down. This was a woman that I spent six months sharing her rented room and single bed together. Our relationship had lasted 3 years.

 

Its a balance I suppose like many things. If my girlfriend every now and then happened to mention in context memories of her and her ex husband that were fond or happy, I don't think I would mind. Its a huge part of her history, and he was a huge part or her life.
However if it was daily or multiple times a day she was bringing up these fond memories there might be a issue. Lets face it even in the extreme cases of very bad relationships, they were not all bad we have all had good and bad and sharing that shouldn't be discouraged.

 

My wife and I both had a 25 year relationship behind us when we met. I cannot imagine not talking about our exes. They have been an important part of our lives, important for the process to grow to who we are now (and now we are the ones we fell in love with, so we should be thankful to each others ex ;-)). The fact that the marriage did not last does not make the ex a bad person. There are 2 parties involved. And we never consider the exes as a thread. If that was the case it probably won't have been an ex.