My new wife and my daughters fell out a few years ago (my ex was behind this ) This year they have started to speak again and things have got better but slowly. My daughter is now getting married and has invited me to the whole day but my wife only to the evening. I think this is unacceptable as we are a couple and should be together. I want my wife to share the day with me. Who is right ?
There is probably a lot of influence from another party, the ex wife, that has caused the invitation to be made as it was. Trouble is both your daughter and you are correct. Your daughters marriage is her and her future husbands event. It is their right to invite who they want and when they want those invited to attend. They have made their decision on who attends which part of their marriage ceremony. Unfortunately those invitations are not made without being influenced in some way, right or wrong. Note that I continually used the word "their" in defense of your daughters decision. That is because they own the moment that they are willing to share with certain people at certain times. That is their right. You are correct in that you wish to share your involvement with the one person who is the closest to you. You don't understand why they would block you from sharing with your wife their moment but they have their reasons. You have the right to politely decline attending the part of the event that only invites yourself, decline attending altogether, or accept the conditions of the invitation. My take would be to decline attending without my wife and only attend the evenings activities. Then when asked why I chose this option it gives me the opportunity to explain my feelings about how the invitation was extended. That might uncover the influence and then extend the invitation to include your wife as well.
