Is it possible to make love with a stranger?

Has anyone (male/female) been able to sexually connect with a stranger on a deeper level? I mean, physically touching and really making love? without knowing them, or knowing anything about them completely.
If you did make love with a stranger, what did it feel like? What was the outcome? Did it change your perspective of what love is? Did it end and you wish it hadn't? Just wondering...

 

Unfortunately, I haven't had the experience of making real love with a complete stranger. But I have long had the romantic (if you want to call it that) notion that, on very rare occasions, two strangers can meet at a time that is right for each of them to have a true instant sexual connection. I doubt it could be repeated, but I think it probably happens occasionally.

 

Interesting you separated the act of making love with romance, is there a difference? Wouldn't the two notions be connected somehow? Whats your definition of making love and being romantic? If you don't mind me asking... just curious!

 

I think of romance as a term often used to describe a conventional sense of love and sexuality, within a standardized social setting. That doesn't seem appropriate to your question. At the same time, romantic can be used to describe a highly idealistic point of view about a variety of things. I was using the latter rather than the former.

 

Interesting thought process...Thank you!

 

Thanks for the opportunity to pontificate

 

I interpret he first question as about being able to sexually connect with a stranger on a deeper level, with physical touch, and truly "making love". I define the term "making love" adds to the sexual interlude by becoming more emotional and having feelings of deep affection towards your partner surrounding the sex act. Love can be defined as to have a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. I feel that if there is a sexual attachment to a partner there can be love expressed although it may only be in the moment and fleeting. This can happen without knowing anything about them.

So, based on this interpretation is it possible to make love with a stranger? In my opinion, yes it is. Have I done so? Yes I have many times. The next question is what did it feel like? It was utterly fantastic each and every time. Upon seeing her body, hearing the tone of her voice, and the look on her face as she is about to give me of herself causes deeper emotions than just having sex. My heart warms to the impending contact we are about to make and when we do I savor every touch, every caress, and every moment we are together. I did not know this person before the interlude. But in the moment I am in love with the person for what she is giving me and I to her.

What was the outcome? Unadulterated sexual intercourse ending in total orgasmic bliss. Along with a lasting memory of the interlude that took place.

Did it change your perspective of what love is? No it did not. I suggest picking up a copy of the book "The Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. In there they write "A sexual relationship may last for an hour or two. It's still a relationship: the participants have related to one another as sex partners, companions, lovers - for the duration of their interaction." Can you understand how much love a human has within them? There is an enormous amount that can be spread over many people. Why can't love be shared with a stranger if for only an hour or two?

Did it end and you wish it hadn't? Everything ends at some point. Even making romantic love with a life long partner ends at some point in time. There are times I wish the interlude could continue. But it is not possible. The stranger will and must, as you, continue on their own path after crossing yours. It is possible, even likely, the paths will cross again. But if they do the stranger will no longer be a stranger as you will have carnal knowledge of their body and mind.

 

Barry,
Thank you for your response, you articulated your thoughts effectively.
I appreciate it!

 

I guess it depends on whether you think the word, 'love', is a verb or a noun.

 

I think it means like with the kissing and the eating each other's faces. Like you're not just on one night here this shit is heating up and getting passionate.

Kinda like the romanticised parts in war films where a soldier meets a girl for the night and they're all in love etc. The sex is always steamy.

 

Oh la la! Okay, I see what you mean. Thanks!

 

Or....one thinks they are getting one or the other, they could also get both at the same time....interesting!
Thank you!!!!!

 

Just because its rare doesn't make it impossible.

 

Definitely

 

Yes, and probably over a thousand times by now, gave up even bothering to count somewhere around 1990

 

If you had sexual contact with a relative stranger and found the experience to be deeply satisfying, there is nothing unusual about that. I've had that experience, but it wasn't love beyond the simple fact that the meaning of the verb "to make love" is simply "to have sex" or "to have sexual intercourse."

It may be satisfying beyond the physical connection to consider it a spiritual or supernatural connection, but it probably wasn't. That doesn't mean it wasn't good, nor that it couldn't lead to love, but simply that it's wishful thinking. I'm not opposed to wishful thinking. Placebo has wonderful curative properties. It isn't all imagined, but it is triggered within you. Having great sex is one of the best known ways of releasing endorphins, neurotransmitters that flood your brain and the rest of your body with positive feelings. It's amazing, but sex with a stranger isn't what I'd consider to be love.

To answer your questions, I have had sex with people I did not know well, sensed a deep connection, and mistook my feelings for love. Of course these experiences changed my perspective. All of life does, especially experiences that are new and surprising. Encounters and relationships have a beginning, a middle, and almost all have an ending before one of those involved tastes the bitter fruit of death. I've known romantic love, and I've had great sex, but neither has been without its temporal limits.

I would ask you to consider it this way. If you believe that you will be pushing the wheelchair of this person in the residence you share 60 years from now and still enjoying great conversation together after all youth and physical beauty has fallen away, then it's love. It wasn't just sex; it was love. However, most likely, you enjoyed great sexual chemistry, experienced a flood of endorphins like you have never experienced before, and you'll enjoy it while it lasts.

"Love is eternal, for as long as it lasts." (Nobel laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez quoting a Brazilian songwriter)

 

After we decided to have a open marriage it didn't seem to bother my wife and as for me hell no!

 

Anything is possible. However sex with a prostitute is the most likely scenario.

 

It is possible to totally connect physically in the sexual sense with someone who is in tune with my sexuality but without the emotional connection even at the most tender moment it cannot be called lovemaking.
However it is entirely possible to become infatuated with a total stranger, it is the imagination that one projects onto this crush.