is it ok to hug and kiss your boss?

"MAMA" as in Drummin in this case, yes? There's another *MAMA* on here, so I just want to double check, lol.
Honestly, all I'm trying to do around here is to offer my view while exercising the "innocent until proven guilty" approach. The OP hasn't really said anything that clearly indicates she and her boss are NOT on the same page, therefore I can't simply assume that they aren't.

My situation is totally different, and I'm aware of that. I don't have any children at this time, so that aspect makes things a little easier for us as well. I guess it's mostly the inter-generational aspect of the OP's situation that I can relate to more than anything else.

Getting back to the OP's situation, we also don't know how her "boss" feels about the whole thing, either. We're only getting the OP's side of the story, so the only thing we can do is to speculate. But from what she says in her posts, he seems to be into her. As an advocate of love, I truly wish all is being done with pure intentions, whatever he does, or she does. That's pretty much what I think, really.

 

my boss said he wants to go further with me but that he feels guilty cos his wife. he lets me sit on his lap and cuddle. i think i can call it 'sex' cos thats what happened in his pants underneath me. so his mind intentions are to not go further but we go far when we cuddle luckily!
:hurray:
:conehead:

 

Just....be careful, for your own sake.

I got 'groomed' into being with an older man. He was my boss to start with, and then we got closer, I'd imagine us together. He was also my tattooist, and stopped charging me for ink. Before I knew it we were so close and I was crazy for him, I would have bowed to his every command. I was also a single teenage mum living alone.

He pretty much moved in with me, everything about the relationship was amazing. We were so compatible in every aspect and I truly saw him as my soul mate despite the 19 year age gap. He became a father figure to my child, who in time began to adore him.

As time went on he changed. He expected me to do everything for him, to bend over backwards and please him but he was sly about it, using sob stories and events to guilt trip me into thinking I'd done something wrong and needed to make up for it. I didn't realise it was happening at the time. He began ignoring me for days on end for no reason, I'd not see or hear from him at all. He'd come back with excuses of 'work' or 'friends' getting in the way. Then one day he just disappeared off of the face of the earth. I never heard from him or spoke to him again, despite living very closely to each other, and also from his work. It broke my heart in two and I still feel the pain now, every time I think about him, or walk past our favourite restraunt or listen to a song he introduced me to.

I came to realise that, despite showing me so much affection, I was an 'indoors' girlfriend. I'd never met his family or friends, we rarely went out apart from the restraunt down the road we loved, he never invited me to pub nights. No body knew I existed, and I have a feeling that for him I only existed within the four walls of my flat. I was just his back up fuck after a stressful week at work.

It was a shame. My child, and I, were devastated when he disappeared. I regret introducing them everyday of my life. She still talks about him sometimes as she got very attached.

Anyway, just take care of yourself. Not all men are like that and I know its not to do with age, despite that experience I still believe age is just a number, the problem in my relationship was nothing to do with age. Although he made me feel hopeful and secure at times.

If you are going to enter a mature and adult relationship, especially where there is children involved, follow your logic, and then your heart. Do not rush for the sake of it. And try to enjoy your teenage years too, I spent age 17-19 pretty much entwined to the walls of my home, waiting for a sign that he was coming over, or a message to see how I was.

 

i wouldn't mind receiving a tattoo :2thumbsup:

which are the signs that i'm getting groomed? i'll describe how he is a bit: he asks me a lot of questions about myself but doesn't say much about himself. he talks a lot but never talks about what happened during his day. but i think its only cos he doens't like work so doesn't wanna talk about it. i'm happy to say he never yells or hits. his friends have met me cos they play cards sometimes. my friends visit us too.

you were a back up? do you mean he madeout with other girls?

are teenage years really different to 20s-30s? i never understand how its different

 

Remember what I said before; small steps at a time. His getting aroused when cuddling with you is totally natural. I wouldn't call it "sex" per se, but it's a natural physical reaction to having a girl on his lap. Romantic feelings toward that girl(in this case, you) may further promotes this type of erection as well.

I don't think your guy is "grooming" per se. His friend have met you, and that means, as far as I'm concerned, he wants this relationship with you to eventually be an official thing. Now, that however doesn't mean you two can speed things up either! You know what we've been talking about. Patience is a virtue.

You know what? Some people may tell you it's vastly different. BUT, what I can tell you based on MY own personal experience is that it actually all depends. One thing I can tell you is that you will notice PHYSICAL differences after you hit 25. At least that was my case, lol. When I was your age, I could eat anything and not have to worry about gaining weight. After I turned 25, though, I began to notice my body would burn less fat. After 30, and I was less energetic... So, I started working out regularly to compensate for that. Exercise pays off, and I can tell you that firsthand, lol.

As for the "mental maturity", my kindergarten years were actually more similar to TODAY for some strange reason.....in a way. There is very little difference between my elementary school days and my high school days. And, there is my 20's and 30's, NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER in my case. In fact, I still feel like I'm in my teens emotionally. The only thing that's different is that I've learned over the years that this world is such a jaded, bitter place. That society wouldn't understand someone like me, or someone like Michael Jackson and thus he had to die.....or more like had to BE KILLED by society. But I digress, that's for another argument.

The bottom-line is, your CORE personality shouldn't change that drastically every year or decade you get older. You're still the same person you were when you were, say, five yours old, in terms of your core personality. This is something many psychologists say to be true(they say a child's core personality is developed before the age five), my strong dislike for psychology notwithstanding.

So, teen years and adult years are only different in parts for some people.

 

My two cents Alternative, is that MAMA and drummin are in a unique situation as women to help Bonita here and exchange personal experiences so everybody's wisdom about these types of situations are revealed.


In my humble opinion as a male, I don't think that casual meetings of a girl I'm interested in and my friends necessarily means she's really within a man's inner-circle in a serious relationship way.

Now I'm the type of person that plays for keeps, so if I was in a situation with someone where an age gap was present, I'd probably introduce her to my folks and all the same stuff I would for any other person I'd date. I'd expect the same with her.

^Although I think this is kinda rare for guys to do.

At the rest of you guys, how differently do you approach girls your not so serious about VS girls your considering in a serious context for a long term relationship (years long, possibly for life)?


@Bonita, I suggest that you tell your boss (this man), that you appreciate the job, but that he should not play with your heart strings, because that would break you emotionally and you'd rather not go through that, even though you find him attractive.

If he can't meet want you want in a relationship, call it off and go BACK to a PROFESSIONAL relationship only even if your heart goes out to him in his personal situation.

(If he starts to guilt trip you, that's a red flag this is a bad situation)

 

Initially I avoided this thread because of the title. It was just too obvious of an answer so it seemed like a troll thread.

So, face value.....hell no, it's not ok to kiss/hug your boss.

Going through the thread, I do have a question....is english your second language?

Generally speaking, a 31 y/o that wants an 18 y/o as a companion is a man that wants the simplicity of a young person. Because older women usually come with complications. And with that simplicity, you will be easily controlled, and he could be possessive. You two are in completely different life phases. Yes these age ranges can last, but statistically they don't.

He likes the convenience of you in the house to care for things. There's nothing wrong with that arrangement as long as you are aware. Also, he's probably crazy horny for you. It can't be called love for a long time.

This WILL get messy. It's just a matter of time.

 

lol

This post is a perfect example of why I think you are either A) a troll... not real or B) REALLY, REALLY niave/immature...
You Think you can call it "sex" because something happened in his pants when you were on his lap even though you just cuddled with him??
Okay? And you are real and you are really 18? (because if you are real that seems like something maybe a 9 year old would say.)

 

:2thumbsup:

I think she is at least 30 and having a hell of a time because of all the people that took her serious in this thread.

 

i agree now i know the major difference in arousement. lap cuddling was not sex at all. we have a bed arrangement now

i wanted to be patient but i had a bad dream so he let me in his bed and since then we sleep together the last 2 days :love:

true i noticed when you see pro tennis girls at age 17-19, they end up getting bigger when they are 25.

i feel like the same person ever year psychologically, but maybe a bit more confident.

thanks for showing me that link
i was not very good i school but i like learning and reading about life subjects like this.

and 20s might be better for me cos i struggled through high school, so no more worries

we are talking more about his day the last 2 days. it feels important i agree.

 

do you mean its wrong to hug an office boss or like a house-holder?
english was not my first language. umm he wanted the best babysitter, and i never make mistakes so he hired me. and after that he liked me as more i guess. oh well even if its not love at least we are really close now. we sleep together and trust ourselves completely :love:

 

Where are from?

 

Trust is good. So is comfort but it could be fleeting. Life is just beginning for you.

 

its not important
i only tell whats important, nothing personal that i can avoid sorry

if he cheats on me.