Is It Bad I Have A Crush On The Singer?

I joined a band a few months ago and it has kind of changed my life. I haven't been playing very much for years, just been working crummy jobs and kind of floating around with out any passion in my life. When I joined the band it made me realize that, even if it doesn't provide an income, it's always been music.

But I also realize a big part of the reason I'm enjoying myself so much is that I totally have a huge crush on the singer of the band. I think if the singer was just some dude I wouldn't be so into it.

She's just very cute and attractive and has a great voice, she's only 21 and I'm 28. Sometimes I think she might be into me too but I'm not sure.

So is it terrible of me to have a crush on the singer of my band? I think its becoming quite obvious to everyone around me. Some times well be jaming and I'll notice that instead of bassing attention to the drums and guitar like a good bass playing should, I'm just staring at Shelby.... Or like sometime I'll just do really silly embarrassing things like a smitten school boy and then realize how ridiculous I look.

Plus if i act on it and we hook up or date it could ruin the band if we brake up or whatever. OR she could not be into me and it'll get awkward....

 

Let it go. Not saying it wouldn't work out but this is the kind of thing that can ruin bands. At least stop doing silly shit and play like a professional and if she makes moves later....so be it. If not, everything is cool.

 

fuck the band, just jump her ass.

go join a new band if shit doesn't work out

 

https://youtu.be/TR3Vdo5etCQ

 

The band is about 147.65% more important than pussy...even rock star pussy. You can get plenty of pussy if you're in a good band. You can't get into a good band just because you happened to nail a hot girl a few times.

 

I think it totally depends. I've been in bands and have witnessed that sometimes these internal romances work and sometimes they don't. Whatever happens happens. I say the OP should simply follow his own heart. If she's meant to be with him then she is, and if the band is meant to be his family then that's what will happen. Or, if neither is meant to be a long-term thing for him then he'll eventually part ways with both. Que sera sera.

 

even if you do crush, or even go out with her, pay the band some respect man

 

Relationships of that nature are a huge no, no in my book. 99.99% of the time, when peeps act on their "crushes" with other bns members, it all goes to hell in a hand basket. Youre there to play music, not bang the singer.

 

Speak for yourselves! Maybe the pussy is 1000% more important to him than the band. Maybe he is there to bang the singer.

It's a matter of priorities. If keeping the band together in the #1 thing for you, maybe you should stay away. Don't be surprised though if somebody else in the band gets together with her, and then the band is just as likely to break up because of that.

Maybe shelby is the love of your life, and the band will just break up anyway. Maybe she won't be the love of your life, just the best lay you've ever had. Maybe you'd break up with shelby eventually, but the band will still stay together. Maybe by making a move on shelby, you'll actually clear the air of the awkwardness of your obvious attraction. Maybe the band would break up if you tried to get together with her, but you'd find a new band that you'd like better. Maybe getting with shelby would make the band less likely to break up. Maybe a million different things.

You clearly want shelby. I say go for it. If it doesn't work out, just try to be mature about it.

 

That's probably fair. It is a matter of priority. It could go any number of ways. I've been in my band for so long that it's like family so for me.....the band is a priority. But...that's just my perspective.

 

band I played with had a single black girl singer. I fell in love with her first site.. I knew the band didnt stand a chance of surviving very long in the business.. and I hit that like drum stick on a snare. had been a while since I had some cocobutter babe, and I just couldnt keep my pecker under control. the band never did make it and Ive long lost touch with ebony babe. ya only live once.. fuck it

 

crushes are fun. Sometimes crushes are more fun than actually following through with it. If you put the moves on her and it ends badly the crush is over and you wont look forward to seeing her anymore.

my advice is to only move forward if you are positive you guys are perfect for each other, OR if its just about sex that it can be handled maturely without making anyone in the band uncomfortable.

 

The hidden treasure in a band is the drummer.

 

Im with you on that Wizard, my band is no. One priority. I wouldnt act on a crush or infatuation, but I might be tempted if I were in love, but even then, that would be a tough call.

 

really? in what way?

 

You have this cute person in your life who makes you laugh and makes you happy and does something funny to your loins.

Yeah it sucks if you figure out they don't like you back, which is one reason I said sometimes crushes are more fun than following through with it.

 

Not always

 

To be completely honest....most drummers think they are the hidden treasure of their band.

 

A couple weeks ago we had gig and I ended up getting pretty drunk. I didn't mean to, I was just drinking beer very slowly until after midnight and then I decided to get something with a little caffeine and switched to rum and cokes (yup, flawless logic). Well the being tired and the booze caught up with me and I was totally trashed by the end of the night (we did play till 1:30am). On the way home I admitted to the guitar player that I had a huge crush on her. He warned me against acting on it because EVERYONE has a crush on her and she's getting really tired of guys confessing their love to her. This was pretty depressing to me but it pushed me to move on and ask out this other girl who I used to know and had a crush on. It ended up working out amazingly. This new girl is so cool and 1000 times more compatible for me AND she's actually totally into me. I feel tears of joy on the horizon. And I still love playing in the band. Now that I've realized it was just physical attraction and that the singer and I actually have nothing in common, I'm more focused on the music and am playing way better. Life is pretty friggin sweet at the moment

 

Drummers are the hidden treasure cuz they can be hard to find,have a hard time practicing because of the noise,even if they cab just keep a beat,they also have more logistical problems moving there kit around.Just be cool with Shelby and play it by ear.