Is chivalry dead?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by RainyDayHype, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

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    Nicely stated!

    So I guess our conclusion is that Chivalry has given birth to it's child concept of just being courteous (regardless of gender) in the modern age.


    And that the problem isn't that we're seeing a loss of Chivalry, we're seeing a loss of human decency driven by consumerism and bad parenting.


    Ironically I think this is the complete opposite of the intention of the feminist movement in their attempt at creating independent self-confident women.

    If you want to be independent you gotta learn how to cook for yourselves, unless you want to spend tons of $ dining out on high caloric food at the time.

    Being a lady in the modern age to me means:

    A confident, high self-esteem female, who is polite but not afraid to speak her mind in a elegant and effective fashion without becoming catty or rude in her social behavior. That behavior will make itself apparent either with her friends, family and/or romantic partners.

    It also means that as an individual the fact that she has the ability to charm the opposite sex doesn't mean that ability should be used as some kind of vindictive weapon to prove a point or manipulate others. She like everybody else is entitled to nothing and does not have chip on her shoulder.

    This next part isn't necessary but it can help that a lady is smart and can just be good company and a good conversationalist, without being a gossip.

    What she wears is respectful to herself and others. It should be noted that in the modern age showing skin is much more acceptable than it was in the 1940's, so I'm not talking about conservative attire here only; verily no that's a doctrine of old. Instead dress should just be appropriate given the setting or context and should refrain from saying crass things.

    Hopefully, she's kept herself in good shape, because that would imply she cares enough about her own health and has self-respect, but it's fine if she's got a bit of meat on her bones.

    She's comfortable in her sexuality

    (Now my personal preference is that she's good with children but this is in NO WAY necessary at all for just being a lady)
     
  2. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

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    These are desirable traits in men we are already attracted to.
    Other man with the same traits are on the fast-track-to-the-friendzone.

    I couldn't be in a long-lasting relationship with anyone, who wasn't my sex partner and confidant at the same time.

    Thank you for clarification :).

    This is indeed the right definition :2thumbsup:.
     
  3. FlyingFly

    FlyingFly Dickens

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUSIjfUX-BU"]Family Guy - British Gentlemen's - YouTube
     
  4. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    I would honestly feel like an entitled princess if I stood and waited for someone to open a door for me. I do get doors opened for me quite frequently but it happens because we arrive at the door at the same time, not because I stand and wait for the nearest man to get there. I don't think any guy in my life has pulled out a chair for me so I might be waiting a while on that one.

    One reason chivalry is dying is because our society doesn't follow such a strict code of conduct anymore. I don't view this as a bad thing -read any Jane Austin book and you can see how annoying and tedious polite society is. Manners are good but there is much less expectation and more personal freedom now in terms of how one should act.
     
  5. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    And how annoying and tedious Jane Austen is
     
  6. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    i once pulled a chair out for a girl. of course, by that i mean that i pulled it out from under her while she was sitting down, causing her to do an awkward slow motion ass-fall. it was pretty classic.
     
  7. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

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    There's tons of those types of pranks on youtube.
     
  8. JKHolman

    JKHolman Member

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    If we look at chilvalry as something from the days of the knight errant and the maiden in distress, yes, chilvalry is largely dead. But in the case of holding doors open for a lady (or another man, for that matter), we speak of a modern form of chilvalry. It is good manners in action, and good manners are taught, mostly at home, but also in our everyday local communities. What good manners I possess, I was taught in the books I read, the old films I watch, and those around me that had a better upbringing than myself (both my father & step father were pigs).
    Chilvalry comes natural to those that were well heeled. The rest of us have to learn it and be deliberate long enough for it to take hold. One of my greatest sources was a book by Miss Manners on proper comportment. For those that consider these things high brow, there is no hope for them.
    And I will point out certain things that have not changed over the ages in terms of chilvalry:

    Women should never get drunk. For that matter, do not get more than lightly inebriated. For women that do, they always look bad.

    I taught my daughters to never laugh at a dirty joke. Someone (and not just guys) is watching your reaction and your standing will suffer accordingly.

    To the men, never back down from a fight (as opposed to an argument), especially when defending the weak or helpless; a woman's virtue; your family honour.

    Women, there are times (although very rare) when you may have to fight for your man. The few times it does happen involves defending your marriage against a usurper. If you are caught up in this (and I am not talking about a catfight), hit hard and do not hold back. Drive thru when you strike. Women can be strong and keep their femininity.

    For women that are homosexual (that is strictly up to you), remember always - you are still a woman and should carry your self with grace and dignity.

    When we are civil to one another regardless of our beliefs or affiliates, we are better individuals for it and that makes for a better world.

    I wish all of you well and have a
    goodnight
    ///
    JKHolman
     
  9. Hedgeclipper

    Hedgeclipper Qiluprneeels Nixw

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    chivalry is anti-feminist. So yes.
     
  10. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    I was just having a conversation about chivalry not to long ago. This is a perfect example of the difference between general politeness and chivalry.

    I'm a big fan of chivalry. I don't really care much about who pays for things, but more so the actual acts. It never goes unnoticed, and it goes a long way with me.
     
  11. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

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    Chivalry is dying, and so are ladies, unfortunately
     
  12. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    Also, this!! I'm certainly not a diva, and it's not like I expect the ground I walk on to be worshipped. I'm a very nurturing person by nature, but that is always amplified by chivalry. A man that demonstrates chivalry is sure to find himself treated like a king when in my care.
     
  13. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    "As long as i got breath the death of rock is the death of me and rock is dead. Well, were dead! Alright, yeah!!" :D Is rock dead? No. Is chivalry dead? Only for the ones who perceive it like that I think :)
     
  14. thatblindguy

    thatblindguy Member

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    Like most of the others who have posted on this thread, I believe in being equally respectful to everyone, regardless of sex, race, disability, etc. When I open doors for women, it has nothing to do with their being women. If I was a woman, I don't think i'd find chivalry offensive, but I think I would find it unnecessary.
    As a person with low vision, I am familiar with being treated differently. Most people treat me as if I were a seeing person, but there are those who try too hard to be helpful. This I believe as more understandable than chivalry, as I do have a very slight disadvantage, but this can be overcome with the use of assistive technology.
    Be polite, but not overly so. Do not assume that any person needs extra assistance unless they ask for it.
     
  15. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    Women who perceive a chivalry deed as offensive are clearly nuts.
     
  16. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    :iagree:
     
  17. Sig

    Sig Senior Member

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    Truth
     
  18. Hedgeclipper

    Hedgeclipper Qiluprneeels Nixw

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    But isn't that what lovely anti-essentialist philosophers like Judith Butler wanted? They wanted no more ladies and no more chivalrous men -- because those would be gender roles and gender roles are no more than social construct, right? We're supposed to smash gender roles, right?

    And hey Piaf, what's up? I like your photos. You're cute.
     
  19. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

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    I don't know who Judith Butler is, but I am quite fond of certain gender roles.
    And hey, not much. Thanks :)
     
  20. Hedgeclipper

    Hedgeclipper Qiluprneeels Nixw

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    Well if you ever want to meet up, we could make a metaphor about gender roles ;)
     

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