Introversion And Quietness

I see it as a spectrum or scale, not as a question with only two answers.

My interest in socializing varies quite a bit.

 

I wish I liked people more and hadn't become so isolated..

I'm resentful of the fact that I spend a great deal of time by myself but I'm the best company I have ever found.. It's kind of a double edged sword.. I really want to be out in the world doing things but the situation has to be within a certain frame of circumstances otherwise I'm cranky or edgy.

In my mind, I'd like to wide open but there's something preventing me from doing that. I've chalked it up to being jaded reading too much shit on the internet becaues there was a time when I was the life of the party and constantly out among friends and strangers alike. Now I just see everyone's agenda.

 

^^Why do you want to still be the life of the party?

 

Agoraphobia? Some kind of anxiety/phobia issue for sure. The difference in introversion and extroversion is really just how people affect your energy level. An extrovert becomes energized around people and and an introvert has to expend energy around people and has to be alone to recharge.

If you're afraid to go out in public period then I agree there is probably something else going on there.

 

I have gone through phases of introversion and extroversion on and off throughout my life. I have a tendency to be affected by the attitudes and people in my surroundings, meaning I became more extroverted when I started hanging out with more socially outgoing people. But when I moved to a new city and lived alone in a studio apartment, it took me a long time to meet any friends and I became introverted because that was the lifestyle I faced; I found happiness in being to myself. So I'd say if you wanna try a more extroverted livelihood, try to make friends with some extroverts. However don't expect an overnight change. Like most of the members here posted, moderation is key.

 

Even though, I don't believe, for lack of better wording (we are not wizards) in this kind of stuff. And would even go as far to call it BS, I do like how you put it. It's about energy, I think. What wakes us up and what puts us to sleep. I remember once in one of my psychology classes my instructor said to think back when you were a kid and went to your first amusement park. Did you fall asleep in your scooter or in your parent's arms? Did you go off running, telling your parents how you wanted to go on this ride, and this ride? Or did you just stand there, and every action you did after was very slow and collective? It's about what we can deal with, and how much of it, temperament wise.

The reason I don't take an interest in extroversion and introversion is becuase I think it's more about situations, than people. Situations is what gives us energy, or takes it away, what controls our temperament. For example, it may seem someone who gets energy whenever they are at a party, are excited becuase of all the people, AKA being an extrovert. But, what if there are a lot of people and no one is partying? It's just a lot of people standing around. Do you think the extroverted person would still have the same energy, or energy at all? Basically, maybe it's the partying that gives them energy, not the people. Another example is a introverted person who keeps getting nagged by their friends to finally talk to that one girl or guy they have been staring at the whole night at the same party. I'm sure the introverted person would have been fine at the same party, where people are partying and there are a lot of people, if it wasn't for their friends nagging them to be more social. Overall, I think within any given situation, you can be extroverted and introverted, because it depends on the situation. I bet we go through moments of extroversion and introversion multiple times a day, whitch sounds exhausting thinking about that.

Also, with being introverted and extroverted, I think it divides people. I don't know if anyone on here get this notion from my posts, but I am all for unity of all people, and things. I'm not like all into free love or anything like that. It's not like that. But, anything that puts people into classes, categories, or anything that has to do with groups, I don't care for. I do understand the benefits of it, but mostly I think it has more disadvantages than advantages. I have seen introverts complain about extroverts, like their temperament and means of socialization is better. Same goes for extroverts. Either you're a shallow, can't be alone extrovert. Or you're a socially awakward, painfully shy introvert. Screw that. I rather be myself. I'm more or even less than that.

Lastly, I think this 'battle' between extroverts and introverts, takes away attention from people with actual social issues. Being extroverted or introverted is not a social issue. End of story. You don't have to be more or less extroverted or introverted, no matter what uneducated, don't have a degree in psychology or anything relating to that, would tell you. But, it's treated as an issue, when there are people who are actually sucking to the point of debilitation at socialization for some reason.

 

Oh, well, as far as anxieties go, I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder but generally that doesn't affect me when it comes to being around people I know (which is what I'd like to pursue). As for going out, it is not really an issue of being anxious (at least not anymore), I'd just really rather not be around other people. I have a highly-avoidant personality but I don't think it's anxious, or at least not as anxious as it was before.

I generally believe in there being a introversion-extroversion difference between people, as said, having to do with energy. I expend energy by being around others, and need alone time to recharge (usually from a few days to a few weeks depending) so I think that I am an introvert. But I also believe in it being a spectrum and not "this or that" (I feel this way about pretty much every psychological issue, especially considering that I have schizophrenia and how it affects my life vs how it affects others). I never really saw the issue of division though. No introverts I know think less of extroverts simply because they are extroverts, nor vice versa, so I don't know about that (though I don't know very many people).

As for the relation to my first post, I no longer feel a need to drive myself to be around others and have simply accepted how I am. I will still try to keep contact with my friends though and visit them occasionally, even if it does take some energy to do so.

I think humans are highly-social creatures and no matter how introverted, there will be a desire to be around others.

 

I totally agree with this, no matter how much you want to stay away from people, or how much you need to be around people, at the end of the day we all need a select group, or even just one person we truly bond, connect with. If we don't have this, this is when mental issues arise, at least that's what I think. Of course, there are other reasons mental issues arise, but I think this is one of them.

 

For some of us introverts being in contact with nature such as looking down a valley or being in a rain-forest, we are less lonely than being in a crowded pub. Do you have much contact with nature?
I emerged from my teens somewhat reticent but learned to be a bit more chatty. These days I am still a bit more cold when I first meet someone, but if I find I am reading off the same page then I warm up.
I have lived in a large house for the last 25 years. As soon as I am in the front or back door, I am in a world of my own.