Internet Relationships...Does It Work?

I met my boyfriend on this very website 4 years ago. After 2 years of online "dating" I traveled from R.I. to Idaho to be with him and we've been together ever since. I can't picture myself with anyone else...it's amazing. Yes internet relationships sure can work and for the record...yes I knew what he looked like during our online time.

 

I think I'm confused about the question, and everytime someone here asks it I feel compelled to chime in. But I won't bore you with the long winded details, you can go back and check out some old posts if you really want to know my whole story. Basically though I met my boyfriend/soulmate online, by complete chance. (ok ok so I just finished watching Serindipity, but that isn't the point here. LOL) Anyway, if you are asking if a long distance over the internet relationship can work, I'd have to tell you no, for many of the reasons that people here have already stated. No matter how "above" that you think you are, you still need to get to know a person physically, (no I don't mean sex) and watch how they interact in the real world. No one can have a fulfilling relationship with someone that they cannot spend intimate time with. Ask any psychologist. That is jut how we are wired. We need hugs and kisses and sly glances and coy giggles.

But if you mean can you find someone on the internet, then start dating them "in the real world" most definitely. Jer and I were both messing around online at work one day when we stumbled upon one another. We didn't even like each other at first, had little tiffs back and forth, but it was cute and funny. Come to find out he lived 5 blocks from me. Then the first time we hung out we weren't exactly attracted to each other like huge sparks or chemistry kinda thing. So we kept chatting, I mean you can never have too many friends right? Then one day out of the blue we were hanging out and that spark was there. We've been together for 4 years now. Starting to discuss our future together and neither of us have been happier. I'm so glad I have a job where I can screw around on the internet!

 

I'm kinda suspicious about them, but then again... just look at all these couples who met in these forums and fell in love... Awwwww.

 

I have the biggest crush on this guy I met on the internet. I really want to meet him so i invited him to a bluegrass festival that's held up here this summer, but i want to meet him even before then~~ he's so awesome, we have the best conversations and he's lived and traveled all over the world and he's super hot / really interesting too~~~makes me feel like a lil schoolgirl. I'm just afraid that if we meet he'll be dissapointed. I hope not. I don't know what could come of this, but for now it makes me happy and i hope that when we meet the attraction is still there cuz i just wanna jump this guy

 

The biggest problem with begining a relationship through corraspondence is all the missing peices, things we have subconsiously come to count on to realy see people like body languege and voice inflection. This can be a serious problem for those with a strong sense of commitment because they are likly to devote themselves to something that isnt even realy there and then be blinded by
devotion

you have never held my hand
or taken lips to mine
we have yet to walk the sand
and share what comes to mind

yet i think i know you

I gaze into an image broken
try to feel the words you speak
I strain to hear those words unspoken
find strength for a spirit weak

should i profess to love you

are you even truly there
or a figment from a dream
are you someone with a life to share
or just a ghost in my machine

 

I met my girlfriend here in the forums and couldn't be happier

 

I was just going to ask this question and then saw this thread. Has anyone met in person with someone they met online and then were they exactly as they described themselves or different? Thats what worries me about the whole thing. They'll be completely different. After a while of talking online you'd finally give out a phone number and real name then if they turned out to be physco they could track you down.

 

They are hard. Its a long distance relationship X5 cause most likely, you haven't even seen the person like in a LDR.

 

congrats

haha

 

i met my bf and love of my life right here! so i believe that yes it is very possible to find someone on the internet. its easier to get to know someone and love them for whats inside rather than appearence, it doesnt matter my babys cute! i guess i was lucky to find someone i love so quickly!

 

I believe they work. Well, the ones where the two are compatable. Seriously, is this any different then lovers who meet via pen pal?

To be honest though, i don't think it is right to SEEK relationships online. but my philosophy for dating goes like this.

"Things happen, things don't."

If I meet a great girl online who I love very much, awesome. But I wouldn't seek a relationship, only decide that with a certain chat or message board member would be a good girlfriend and take initiative.

 

Why in the world would it "not be right" to seek a relationship online? I'm just curious to what you mean by this. But it is ok to seek a relationship in a bar where both parties are more than likely intoxicated and not thinking as clearly?

 

...I had that same thought....Does it really matter where you look, if you are looking? I don't actively look. Something either happens or doesn't, online or in person.

 

I don't really believe in actively looking no matter through what venue. I'm more of the mindset that love follows friendship, so I want to gravitate to a guy first through friendship rather than a lustful jaunt somewhere... although if I met the love of my life that way then it's fine too, but it's just not me. I met my boyfriend online and we talked for months before we admitted our feelings for each other, although we had crushes on each other almost the entirety of our friendship. ...But then again, I'm weird and idealistic about all of that.

 

Well, I don't "seek" relationships anywhere. Same rules apply in the world as online, but online you sort of have the problem where somebody could easily be lying to you so its a bit harder.

I don't seek relationships but take initiative when I see a possibility.

 

yes, it works, i've done it

 

I didn't mean you nor I, I mean people in general who seek relationships. I leave myself open to see what develops. It is my opinion, when you are looking for something you never find it, like when you lose your keys. But when you aren't looking, things turn up. That is not to say that I haven't looked to see what is out there (not in 4 years mind you, I have a boyfriend). I'm sure everyone here is sick of my story, here is the short version.

I worked in an extremely boring job with little responsibility or supervision. I was not very familiar with the internet so I decided to do some exploring. I found yahoo personals (this is back when it was free) I thought it was the funniest thing. I had never ever in a million years thought of personals (the kind in the paper) as anything more than a joke. So I started reading them with my coworker. Anyway, I actually came accross one that I liked (that would be my boyfriend's) So I contacted him. He was just screwing around on there himself, looking for friends and stuff. Neither of us wanted a serious relationship, mostly just someone to chat with online I suppose. Anyway, we talked for months, he lived right down the street from me so we hung out a little bit. We remained friends for a few months then we became a couple. We've been together ever since.

So that is all I meant by seeking.

 

I have a friend who met a guy online when she was 15, and after they'd been chatting and emailing online for a few years, he'd asked if he could call her... and to make a long story short, they've met each other and traveled to see each other a few times... so...now I'm the one wondering if I should look online for someone.

 

that's sorta my feeling... but I did meet one dude online who seemed sort of normal...but he made me suspicious of him b/c in his first email, he'd asked me for my address. ...So we kept emailing and then a few months later it came to where he'd asked me for my address for like the third time - and so I just totaly had to scream at him and be like, "what's wrong with you? we're not in a relationship!"