What do you call bears with no ears? B What do dentists call X-rays? Tooth pics. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner. When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is apparent.
What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on! How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired. Why should you never trust stairs? They are always up to something. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed. What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie. Which bird has the worst manners? Mocking birds. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud! How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten, tickles. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire Why were there a period called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights. Why aren’t koalas actual bears? The don’t meet the koalafications. Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
Where do cows go on Friday nights? They go to the moo-vies! Why don’t ants ever get sick? Because they have little anty bodies. What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain. Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed! Where do beef burgers go to dance? The meatball. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. What language do pigs speak? Swine language. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go. What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you.
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates. How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints. Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore. Where to spaghetti and sauce go to dance? The meat ball. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he’s a pain in the neck. What time do you go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty. Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E? Because he had a vowel movement. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always likes a great fall. Why do some people eat snails? They don’t like fast food. Why is it always windy in a full sports arena? It’s full of fans What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed. How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Snowcaps.
