Yeah you might get a couple of comments lol, but I'm not offended by stupid jokes like that. If you had said it any other way it just wouldn't have been as funny.
Nah I’m not a racist in any way... I mean I can be horrible that way to mates but that’s where I draw the line. In jest anything goes. Pretty much there is no boundary. In anger.....please, go away. If I don’t know you.....or you don’t find that type of thing funny, you will not be subjected to it. The trouble I always have is finding out where the boundary line is! Often by overstepping it and then reeling back, apologies in abundance! Years ago a very close unit evolved between myself, a fellow dj who was 50:50 English & st Micheal and an English M.C. Who looked like a member of the national front (ginger skinhead and bovver boots) We did FM pirate radio, drum and bass/old Skool hardcore/house. We were collectively known as the united colours of Benetton. When we announced that, many jaws dropped. But we were happy and laughing. It was a constant racial snipe fest, and due to the party aspect of the way things were back then, it was often days and in some rare cases of weeks, of just abuse....raw nasty abuse. In the end, we were all mates! Onlookers could not believe what they were witnessing and were very surprised most of the time that we all left as a cohesive unit. Ahhh, the good old days.
Mate, I was affectionately known as bin laden for at least a decade! And PC did not stand for politically correct! No sir, that stood for paki c&*% My other official title! I was pretty much addressed as oy bin laden you PC, for anything including a simple hello. I actually preferred both over bumpkin boy! That was my first nickname before we all really got to know each other. (I come from a small village and the show and most events took place in SE London, catford, penge, Bellingham areas. It was suitable I suppose?)
Slightly longer, but my favorite Irish joke. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were eating their sandwiches on the building site. John looked at his sandwich and said, "if I get another ham sandwich tomorrow, I will throw myself off the scaffolding". When Jock discovered his usual beef sandwich he said the same and likewise when Paddy opened hid cheese sandwiches he agreed. The following day, needless to say, they all got their usual lunch and they all plunged to their death. When their wives met up to discuss the funerals, John and Jock's wives were both distraught and the said, "If only the guys had asked us, we would have done something different". Paddy's wife just stood their looking bemused and said. "What an idiot, Paddy makes his own sandwiches every morning". Our youngest daughter told this joke IN IRELAND and it ended up published in the local newspaper. For anyone who knows Ireland. Needless to say, Paddy was from County Kerry when it was published..
That’s funny...... Here’s one my Scottish mate told me maybe more than 2 decades ago. How was copper wire invented? 2 Scotsmen arguing over a penny.
Funniest answer in a GCSE chemistry exam. How would you prepare a sample of copper sulphate. Take 1 policeman remove boots and helmet, then dissolve him in sulphuric acid
I just finished reading the Astrology thread and thought I'd try my hand at reading someone's tarot.... Dear Random Hip Forumer: To answer your inquiry regarding your personal life, I've designed a custom spread. Let's take this one card at a time so I can explain what each means for you. Starting at the bottom, the reversed Judgment card shows where you are now. At the moment, you're experiencing some self-doubt. You feel as if your weight is spiraling out of control resulting in self-hate and loathing. Don't be so hard on yourself, 500 lbs isn’t that bad. Don’t miss out on important opportunities like the reality TV show “The Biggest Loser” “The Big Fat truth”, and My 600 lbs life’ which has recently put out a casting call to all 500 pounders and up. Although it doesn't feel like it now, hard work will pay off big time. The 8 of Cups and the reversed 7 of Pentacles show your strengths and weaknesses respectively. The 8 of Cups suggests your sex life leaves you unfulfilled. You are physically exhausted from spending hours with your battery powered best friend, but at the end of the day it leaves you unsatisfied. The card reveals you need a man. It also reveals you have the courage to move on despite the pain of leaving behind a friend. That's something to be proud of! The downside is that even though you're ready to move on to meet the man of your dreams, you don't have a clear plan for moving forward. This lack of long-term vision has left your energies and efforts scattered. It's time to set a clear list of priorities for yourself to avoid investing in efforts that ultimately don't help you move forward. Sometimes that means breaking off commitments that no longer serve you.
How nice it is to see a thread with only innocent jokes in it. Reading through them is a hoot. Thing is. I only know rude and filthy and disgusting jokes so I cannot participate! Please start up a Filthy Jokes thread so I can take part. Cheers!
I sometimes can't help wondering about people;y'know? My mate heard the fertilisation clinic was recruiting postal sperm donors ...he came in a Jiffy.....
A bloke goes to a prostitute and asks what her rates are, she replies, "hand job £20, blow job £30, full sex £40 and anal sex £50" the guy is shocked, "bloody hell, got anything for a fiver?" he asks, she thinks for a moment, "well there's the penguin" she replies, "ok I'll try it" he says, she tells him to drop his pants and undies and begins to wank him off, he's just about to cum when she walks away, "hey where are you going?" he asks, waddling along after her.
