Incestuous past now haunting me...

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by TheMechanic, Jun 1, 2006.

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  1. junkhead

    junkhead Member

    no offense,but your sister clearly has issues
    all it is is her own guilty feelings for what happened
    and she doesnt want to take the responsibility
    i dont know how old yall was but its ridiculous if you were just kids
    also you didnt say , but is you sister herself in therapy?
    this could be the cause of it
  2. Mr. Man

    Mr. Man Member

    I agree. I think SHE should be the one apologizing to him for enticing him to have sex with her (or trying, I should say, since there was consummation involved). I think she was probably jealous that her friends were interested in him, and when she saw them petting, she thought her brother liked her friends more than her. Now she got married before he did and probably felt like she evened the score, until she saw that another woman loves him enough to want to marry him, and it sounds like that made her jealous again. So she is trying to get back at him with the only thing she has left. He said that she knows the reason he broke up with a former girlfriend was because of what almost happened between him and his sister, and she probably felt a degree of vindication and thought "he'll never be able to get married, and I've got somebody." Now he's found someone and she can't handle it. All in all, I think giving in to her request would cause more harm than good, maybe irreparable harm, to his upcoming marriage and cast an unnecessary dark cloud that would ruin everything. She needs to deal with this on her own and not involve the rest of her family. In fact, I suspect she might've lied to her husband and said her brother intiated the incident, and her husband might be the one putting her up to this. Even if that's not the case, she definitely needs help.
  3. Mack99

    Mack99 Member

    Maybe she feels rejected and trying to get back at you. Or, she told someone about it and they have filled her head with how wrong it is and made her feel guilty.
  4. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

    How old were you and how old was your sister when this FIRST started? This makes a big difference.
    Also, your letter seems threatening. A less threatening way to put it would be that you would discuss telling your parents together after you both recieved counseling.
    Maybe your sister is feeling bad that she is scarred from all of this and you are entering a happy marraige. Rather than her being selfish and vindictive she may just think it is not fair. As far as her playing the victim I think you revealing your guys' ages during the incidents can clear up any misconceptions of whether or not she was taken advantage of.
    Incest is quite normal to some people, especially in certain regions of the country women are just supossed to accept it and not talk about it. It's really demented.
    If you are the older sibling, which it sounds like you might be you owe it to her to resolve any untied feelings she has.
    I still think both of your ages during this time period are very relevant in order to make better sense of where she is coming from.
  5. rebelfight420

    rebelfight420 Banned

    ^ agree 100%
  6. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

    Since he's not responding and didn't say the age in the begining i have a sick feeling his sister was taken advantage of.
  7. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    the op was in June 2006. His last post here was July 1, 2006.

    but yeah, I thought he was playing "my sister victimized me --she wanted it"--dude, she's a kid, three years younger. It's up to the older sib to get that well, if we are hiding it there must be a reason.
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