Okay, so I'm in my late 20's, but didn't start really dating until my mid 20's, or thereabouts, and didn't wind up having sex until a few years ago. Prior to this for a decade and a half, and after for that matter, I've been masturbating furiously. No problem with the masturbation - ejaculate just like normal. Now, when I had my first girlfriend, when she first gave me a blowjob, I started to lose my erection, and was unable to ejaculate. We attempted sex to no success as well, as I was unable to stay hard. This happened with subsequent girlfriends to the point that I wound up taking Viagra. I thought this was the antidepressant medication I was taking (though the fact that it didn't affect masturbation was weird), but since I switched them around to something that shouldn't have said effect, I haven't had the opportunity to test it. However, I've run into another issue - well, I think it's the same thing, but triggered differently. My masturbation up to this point had been just with my hand. No lube or anything. Well, I got the "Head Honcho" thing and some lube, and tried it out. I got started with my hands, but once I was getting into it, I started using lube and put the "Head Honcho" thing on. Same problem - lost the erection. I took it off and used my hands again, and found success, though the lube made it more difficult. So No lube, hands only works fine. With lube, it's harder, but still possible. With lube and the "Head Honcho" thing, very difficult unless I only put it on when I'm almost ready to orgasm. So I'm thinking it's the sensation or something? Like when I use my hand, I hold on to my skin and I guess stretch it? Whereas when it's lubricated it's a different sensation. Obviously, this is a problem. I want to have un-assisted sex. What can I do? Can I somehow train myself to get used to this new sensation or something? Could it still be medication? Help!
im no expert and im a brand new member so you and a bunch of people may laugh at this post, but here it goes: i think you're used to masturbating with your hand your whole life. i'm younger than you are, have been sexually active for a couple years and able to be hard most of the time, but i have a similar issue, maybe to a lesser extent, though. the only way i could cum was if i did it myself, so my girlfriend said i should masturbate while making out with her and she would touch/rub me all over my body, kiss my body, etc... try to turn me on and get used to her touch while i'm doing this. the next time, she did some stroking too, but i finished.. each time, she'd do more and more, but i'd finish. then one day she put it in her mouth for a bit, and i found i really enjoyed that more than any other time i had my penis inside a girl's mouth. and i think falling in love with her more and more was a big thing that helped me, too. that's my story, i hope maybe this helps you! (or maybe you could just go a while without doing it to the point of anything touching your penis will excite it, that will work, though you probably won't last long and will cum a shit ton everywhere haha.)
I have exactly the same problem, but with me it's a recognised side effect of the epilepsy meds that I'm on. Other meds, such as anti-depressants or beta-blockers can also have the same effect, so if you are on any sort of medication you might try checking their list of known side effects.
Do you watch porn while masturbating? It might be that you're only turned on by watching (maybe some type of) porn. Also, I've had two times when I couldn't come like you, and had a semi-erection at most. This happened at different situations. One time I knew it was my medication. I was taking anti-depression and some other mental issue medicine. You should also know that medication, especially when taken for a long period of time stays in the blood stream for weeks and even months. So switching to another medicine won't solve your problem overnight. Another time I was simply tired and somehow really conscious of what I was doing and that also kinda 'ruined' it for me. I masturbate all the time but I think it's a good idea to do this moderately, e.g. max. one time a day on average. I'm about your age. I've got a tip for you. Sometimes you can't cum when in a certain position. When it comes to sex, everyone has a sweet spot. For me it's when I'm lying down on my back, and the girl sits on top of me: Also, have some foreplay. That can get your engine running real good. Perhaps even change to foreplay while having sex and back again to keep the engine running.
