In Words So Blind

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by OneUndone, Jan 9, 2005.

  1. OneUndone

    OneUndone Member

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    You can blame the pen
    that wrote the lines
    that tore a lover's heart...
    that siezed my lady
    from my arms,
    that caught me naked,
    wasting breath,
    trying to account for why
    I did not see
    a sunrise in her eyes...
    you can blame the black and white
    of letters strewn
    in reckless lines
    that tried to piece together
    skies full of stars
    that never shined
    on wishes that the both of us
    wished awhile when we were young...
    you can blame the dictionary
    that kept to itself every word
    that could have mended
    broken poems and broken promises
    some of which
    I know that she believed...
    and every word
    that drops away
    having little to do
    or little to say
    is another gray hair
    in a head full of gray...
    I wish I could've shown her
    how words don't matter
    at all.
     
  2. puddin

    puddin Banned

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    Thats awesome. It's a great idea.
     
  3. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    Dear friend,

    That is one of the best poems you have written, and you have written some corkers in your time (excuse my britishness). It is so full of feeling, so expressive and eloquent. I love your clever and insightful turns of phrase. Stiff upper lip, old fruit!
     
  4. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Wise, wise words...well woven piece with a great choice for a metaphor. Last couple of lines hit too close to home!
     
  5. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

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    wow that is so sad. the air of hopelesness that clings to it is heartbreaking. beautiful writing.

    P.S. i used to live in houston :eek:
     
  6. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    nice work, *sigh* yeah, hard to take back words harshly spoken or written. Hope yer back to writing again. thanks
     
  7. Anavarius

    Anavarius Member

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    Wonderful poem. I really related towards the end. Sadly touching.
     
  8. saffronfrancisburnet

    saffronfrancisburnet Member

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    yet with pen on paper words reach within
    to remind all,.of how words can mean
    nothing......


    this is beautiful man...
    how the timing always drifts away
    before the words find a meaning....
    like life,like the grey among the hairs
    of youth.........

    lovely poem oneundone.

    lovenpeace
    from saff......
     
  9. OneUndone

    OneUndone Member

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    Thanks, everyone, for all your kind responses! It felt kind of vulnerable to post this...kinda personal. Thanks for making me feel welcome again on the poetry forum!

    Love, Dan
     
  10. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Hello.

    I like your poem...I recognised it's author at once, your style is just the same.

    Welcome back...
     

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