in way over my head

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by calgirl, Aug 11, 2013.

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  1. calgirl

    calgirl Senior Member

    Yes, it's one of my fuck friend dramas. Some of you have heard about this guy before. Please don't think about the ethics, please don't tell me I'm a slut, please don't say I deserve it. Just give me perspective this man's mind, and this mans actions.

    It began about a year ago. We met playing tennis with a big group. He is separated with two grown girls, and 3 grand children. His charm, chilvary, compliments, and attention hooked me. After about 4-5 months of lunch and beer, confiding many of our marriage issues, and affairs, including fuck relationships, we kissed, there was spark, and we started to fuck and spent tons of time together. It was so fun....a little trip to a tennis tournament, lots of dinners, and trips to the casino, look at hot rods, play tennis, listent o blues, and the sex was fantastic and regular enough that I didn't seek it out from others. I was very happy.

    I began to want to be fuck-exclusive, but mind you, I'm in a bad marriage, and also am a mother, and not yet ready to break it all apart so that is about all I could offer. That is when he broke it to me that, with one of his relationships, he has deep feelings. It was so painful, but as long as he was seeing me, I went with his actions instead of his words.

    He and his "ex" were finally making progress on the divorce and he moved to a different place. About 3 weeks into that he broke the news he was moving in with the lady he has feelings for. They've know each other for around 3 years, it's been something he's wanted, he's needed, and he hopes to start his life with her. I was devastated. Completely heartbroken. I thought I started to be more important than she was. Those final weeks he was "unattached" we still got together, fucked one more time.

    So now it's been a little over 7 weeks, we're still in contact, still play tennis, still have beers and lunch, still kiss, still hug, tease each other's genitals, talk about the situation. But I have no perspective !!!!! I don't know how I compare to her. It is completely unclear to me what he truly intends with her.

    Or maybe I'm being stubborn. Rejecting all his actions.

    I've moved on somewhat.....seeing a couple guys, get satisfied often enough. Yet the intensity of what I had with him still lingers.
  2. NoxiousGas

    NoxiousGas Old Fart

    Karma's a bitch, ain't it.
  3. calgirl

    calgirl Senior Member

    Yea, nearly as bitchy as uncompassionate mouthy nonreaders.

    "..... please don't say I deserve it. "
  4. NoxiousGas

    NoxiousGas Old Fart

    seriously, you want us to all feel bad for you and be compassionate that you lost a "fuck buddy" that you were cheating on your husband with and helped destroy your marriage and yet you want all us to weep and cry with you over a lost fuck buddy.

    WHAT A JOKE !!!!

    Haven't we seen this thread already anyway????

    Tell ya what, why not pull the strangers cock out of your pussy and start thinking with your head instead of your crotch.

    How fucking insecure.....

    karma is a bitch, but maybe you got a little taste of what your estranged husband has been dealing with for the years you have been out fucking around on him.

    oh last thing;

    you deserve it

    you know it too, otherwise you wouldn't keep bringing it up.

  5. porkstock41

    porkstock41 stay positive and love your life ~311

    sounds like he likes the sex with you, but wants to build a relationship with the other woman.
  6. Norcal

    Norcal Member

    It's time to stop fucking around with other peoples relationships/emotions and work on yourself. For your next partner/s and your own well being.
  7. calgirl

    calgirl Senior Member

    He doesn't want sex anymore, or pretends to, but doesn't follow through. It's hard to accept it wasn't meaningful. There was so much that happened that I was sure it was.

    I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. Oh, unless its for the 28 years I endured a marriage of neglect.
  8. calgirl

    calgirl Senior Member

    We're not messing around with relationships, we're trying to figure them out. I work on myself a lot. There's much I'm learning.
  9. LetLovinTakeHold

    LetLovinTakeHold Cuz it will if you let it

    The one you voluntarily continue to be 'enslaved' by?
  10. Pressed_Rat

    Pressed_Rat Do you even lift, bruh?

    I give this thread a rating of 3 droopy cocks.
  11. calgirl

    calgirl Senior Member

    Yes, enslaved because I'm a mom first, then a women, then a worker, then a wife. The wife part is a formality...and can be endured. The rest needs attention.

    I count 5 droops.
  12. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

    He proved to you that he's a man without integrity or basic honesty from the very start of your relationship or whatever you want to call it. It makes perfect sense that he is planning to start a new life with another woman while still leading you on. Nothing about his character has ever shown you that he would do anything better than this.

    I'm not really trying to be judgmental if it sounds that way. Just looking at the situation logically.
  13. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    I agree with Meliai and porkstock. And I agree with staying together for the sake of the children.

    But I also think you have let emotions and hormones get the better of you.

    I don't know too much about your marriage, but I do know that you have a husband and children; I don't know how old your children are, either. But it doesn't seem like you have much room for too serious of a relationship.

    Where were you expecting this to go? Why the heartbreak? Wasn't this always kind'f doomed?
  14. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

    who is getting ''head'' that you mention in the title?.
  15. Gongshaman

    Gongshaman Modus Lascivious

  16. Oh man. (haven't read all the comments yet although have read a little past this and saw you talking about years of being neglected in a marriage...) ...but anyways, here's all I have to say about this.

    You're 52? Seriously? And you haven't figured this shit out yet? By many of your posts I would think you are 22. The thing is, I'm not judging you and I could give a fuck what you do, who you fuck, who you do whatever with. But when I see you complaining about "boo hoo... this man likes someone else.. but should I believe him and whaa whaa whaa ...feel sorry for me"---type of stuff. I find that to be extremely immature. You should know you have absolutely no right or reason to be sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and WORSE... acting like a teenager trying to get people online to feel BAD for you...
    I mean, do what you want.. I don't care and don't judge you but geez, you should really stop complaining about things and figure out... why do your posts seem like someone in their 20's or a teenager? I mean, you're being neglected? Have you ever thought you're being too needy or maybe the neglect is your own fault because all you seem to think about is yourself or your pleasure? These things of things just really annoy me.

  17. Why do you need so much attention?

    Why are you always so worried about... oh, I'm sexually satisfied...yay me.?

    It just seems that by your age you'd have a little bit more maturity than that. Just saying.:2thumbsup:
  18. Mothman

    Mothman Senior Member

    I don't think it is unrealistic to become attached to someone you have an obvious chemistry with. The knowledge that this person has a connection with another person and has given higher priority to that relationship would no doubt be painful news to hear. I'm sorry you had that experience.

    We have spoken a time or two in threads and I have always gotten a strong impression that you were down to earth and genuine. I think you have given your power and strength to a marriage that sucked the life from you and at some point you decided to choose life and to live again with the years you have left via seeking enjoyment in many forms including relationships outside of a marriage you would not be in if you were not trying to protect your children.

    I do think you should consider that remaining in an unhealthy marriage in front of your child may also be damaging. Other than that I don't think karma has anything to do with your situation. I think you have served your sentence already.

    I have no advice on your situation with your fuck buddy, all relationships of any depth leave us vulnerable and open to chaos that can not be managed or controlled and sometimes we take a hit. You'll be fine though.
  19. NoxiousGas

    NoxiousGas Old Fart

    The only person who believes that load of crap is you.
    There are countless millions of women who left bad marriages and the kids are fine. You are just using it as an excuse and justification for your infidelity.
    Your kids are in their late teens, correct? Even less reason to continue the charade.
    Given the degree of maturity and good choice making you have exhibited and talked about here at HF, I'm gonna guess that the real reason you stay "enslaved" is because you know there is no way in hell you would get custody.
    Just imagine if your hubbies lawyer had a HF account or read your posts.

    The sad part for you personally is that you seem to only valuate yourself relative to the relationships you have with the men in your life.
    It's like you don't have any sense of self-worth unless someone wants to fuck you or film you fucking.
    Then at the first sign of loss of interest, you start doubting and questioning yourself and your worth.

    STOP THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm sure there is a lot more to you than just your girlie bit's, so why does sex seem to be the only thing you want to portray to others?

    As long as you do that you will never be happy or fulfilled because you are expecting someone else to provide you with it.
    You have to love yourself first.

  20. What I'm thinking is... when it seems like that is all a person cares about..talks about...whatever.- What she portrays on here that is seems kinda...sad. Because to me it seems there is likely something lacking. A sense of peace and of liking one's self. And that the feeling of feeling neglected probably stems from not being happy with one's self... a sense of emptiness coming from within, not from the husband neglecting her...
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