In a relationship with someone much younger

Im new here so be gentle with me!!!!

Ok im 47 and for my age im very young, ive had a seriously traumatic life but have always tried to make it work! But for 7 years i was badly abused to a point of near death..... I then decided to never have another relationship............BUT i ended up having a friendship relationship with my gay best friend then ended up having a child and a 10 year relationship with. Then i was lonely but safe! I needed to feel safe with a man that loved me so badly but i always decided no!
THEN I met a 21 yer old online, we totally clicked ANYWAY its not going well...... I moved back to the UK from Canada to be with him because i honestly do love him!!!! But the age difference is so hard...... I don't know what to do!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me its going to be ok!

I know i will get negative responses but needed to vent!!!

 

I don't have any advice to offer, but I'm glad you got out of that abusive relationship and that you're doing okay.

Relationships are hard enough as it is. The age difference must just make it that much harder. Guess all I can ask is, is he worth the hard work? If you not, it probably won't work.

And on a lighter note, welcome to the Hip!

 

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, Claire. I can't quite give you a hug, but I can tell you everything is going to be ok, no matter what happens in your current relationship.

How is the communication aspect of your relationship? Are the two of you expressing your needs properly? Are there some core character differences causing arguments?

 

I’m pretty certain you won’t get many negative responses here.. if you both adults enjoy your budding relationship, what would age have to do with it. Be happy !

 

just for clarification, are you saying you had a relationship with your gay best friend and you guys had a kid? is he actually gay or just the poor friendzone guy? of course, there wouldn't likely be a kid if that were the case. or did he discover he's gay later on? sorry, i was just confused by that part. i really have no good advice, but good luck!

 

My girlfriend is 21 years younger than me, but she and I have so far made it work, for like five years. I'm in my early 40's myself. One can say that I have a pretty "youthful" way of perceiving things(perhaps a less harsh way of saying "naive/immature", lol), so I've never really had any issue with interacting with the younger generations. Maybe it's a matter of really sitting down and communicating with your partner. Communication really is the key to any relationship, after all.

Best,
#80

 

^I don't think my math is off. Wouldn't your gf have been very under age 5 yrs ago?...

 

Not in our respective countries, we weren't. Plus, my girlfriend, and for that matter I, are still sort of virgins. I say "sort of" because we have made attempts this year, and by this time she is definitely 20+. I don't see any issue here.

 

I'm going to go with poor friendzone guy.


Its funny how life works, she probably was in an abusive relationship, which was probably her first until about mid 20s....then shat over poor friendzoned guy for ten years, who may still be paying through the nose for childsupport, then dumped him and now is a cougar.

So anyone that knew her only from the friendzone guy onwards would think she is a complete.......

Even though first guy may have ended up coming close to killing her, and she would have converted up for him, so likely only at most a few neighbours ever knew

 

Jesus Christ. I feel sick.
Age of Consent Laws By Country

 

Oh......yeah.......Neverland!!!

 

I didnt know that about south korea though

Not till 20, thats a bit rough

 

I’d say don’t worry about it. Your happy that’s all that should matter. People are fickle and stupid

 

Girl stop! I am married to a wonderful woman who is nearly 18 years younger than I am. We are happy and age isn't an issue in the meat bit.

Enjoy your life together. Be concerned about creating mo.ents of love and happiness together. That is all that really matters isn't it.

I am elated for you guys. God bless you.

Ps. I am 2 years younger than her mother and five younger younger her dad and it hasn't been an issue at all. Her parents wondered if I just wanted a trophy or to take advantage of her but over time they learned that she means the world to me and I take especially good care of my sweetheart of a wife.

 

BTW she wants children now. Lol