it has been three months since my girlfreind broke up with me. i should be better by now. i should have forgotten about what happened. And I get sad when she talks about her new guy on these forums and I know im a loser for letting it get to me. And after everything I still care and I try not to. Each day it gets so hard and I have nobody and I really arnt doing too well. I cant face crowds of people still so i cant meet anyone. i cant be bothered playing the games people play in order to get someone. i just say and do what ever without worrying if it makes me attractive or not. i dont care anymore. my bed is too big and i dont want to have sex with people i dont really like so i havent had sex in soooo long. and she talk about how good her new guy is on here, when im sure i wasnt bad but i just get so depressed. i feel terrible that she is having a good time and im not which is really immature i guess. i know its my own fault but i just cant seem to move anywhere. im stuck. i just sit there and especially late at night i stay awake with tears in my eyes. i dream of her when i sleep and dream that everything is how it used to be when things were good and then i wake up in the morning and feel terrible when i realise its not real. I cant see any point in trying to "fix myself" or what ever, when I was trying to do that for years, when she just left me for some guy who was nowhere near as good as me and if I went out with someone like that i would be ashamed and ebarrassed to even be seen with them. but i know i cant keep going on like this. i must be terrible. i know i cant rely on another person for love. i cant rely on anyone. what do you do when you think about dying but you know you cant? help... im pathetic i know. im sorry.
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself anfd get on with things. No one wants to be with someone who has poor me syndrome. Nor someone who thinks thay are "better" than others.
Well the kitten gets no love if she stays inside the house. In other words, if you want someone to be with, you need to LOOK, and tap your resources, and you need to present yourself as someone people want to be with. If you don't care enough to do that, then you don't care enough to be with someone. And having an attitude that lacks confidence isn't part of that presentation. You need to put the past behind you, even if you can only put a fake smile on, and be confident and outgoing. Most importantly, if you're ever going to move on, you're going to have to accept the fact that shit happens (or take the Buddhist stance and ponder, what is the sound of shit happening? Haha!), and forget about certain people. Anyhow, good luck to you.
im sick of putting on fake smiles. i went looking for a while, got lots of people wanting me. but i didnt want them and felt it wasnt fair to string them along. i only got them by putting on the act of being confident and all that anyway. im not an idiot, i know whats attractive and what isnt. but i just dont want to fake it any more.
sorry for you. ive been where you are now. (dumped). and by the looks of things im preparing myself to have to go through it again over the same person. (i gave them a second chance but i think they want out again). im sure time seems to be going really slow for you at the moment and the pain dont seem to be getting any easier. dont worry about going out and meeting someone. thats not important right now. and if you dont feel like having sex with just anyone, well thats ok too! you dont have to be over the breakup by a certain time you know? every breakup is different. and you are not a loser, you are going through something very difficult, everything you feel is normal, everyone in your situation go,s through it. its called heartbreak. your confidence has took a real hammering and to see that your girl is doing so well wont help things either. she will be doing better than you, she wanted this, you didnt. its not a sin to open up and let people see how much you are hurting, even to your girl. dont get bitter or angry!! and if you do, keep it to yourself. have some pride. you will keep going, cause although this is an unexpected path, its your path of life. life gos on. feeling like dying is normal too, but you know you cant!! you said that yourself!!you are not dying, the love you shared is dying inside you. and it will. and when it does you will begin to feel like living again. all i can suggest is that you get through everyday and every night the best you can. eat your favorite foods, treat yourself to some nice things, watch your favorite tv programmes curled up on the sofa, take care of yourself, be close to people who love you. be alone when you need to be. do what ever you need to do to get through it. dont feel pressured to do stuff you dont wanna do. you are not pathetic. you are a brave little lost soul and although its tough, this wont last forever. all the best matey.
i totaly agree with quino50 (gave him a good rep for that 1..well desserved) i've been through it too, you've only been apart a few months you say & you say you hav i've been deeply in love & had it end in simular ways, whn it flt like it was perfect & suddenly they left for someone else who was definately worse for them.. & honnestly it took a year or 2 before i fully moved on.. your in a state of mourning nowent had sex in sooooooo long? that almost made me laugh in a way i've neen in simular relationships that flt perfect we were deeply in love & then they left for someone who wasall wrong..& for me it took a year or 2 before i was fully over it..your in a state of mourning now, which takes time..time will heal you & one day you'll be feelin lil better, you'll go for a walk, mot really looking for anything & all the sudden there will be someone new there who will erase the last of your pain.. but dont even worry about that now, just live & be yourself just feel what your feeling if her flaunting this guy bothers you so much, put her on ignore here..that can be veruyy empowering & then u wont have to face it..just remember that time heals all wounds..so give yourself time to heal
Ok, Unspoken Things, here's the way I see it. Your ex. has already posted several posts complaining about what a grade one asshole her new boyfriend is. Also, she has posted a stone-cold post in this thread for you, bluntly telling you to 'get on with it'. Lovely of her, wasn't it, to still think that much of you? Which is easy for her to say at the mo, but watch this space; she's heading for Disasterville FAST........ and she knows it. Dude, OPEN your eyes and look hard at this woman. REALLY look. You should be CELEBRATING she is out of your life, dude, because attributes like kindness, sensitivity mean nothing to her - (didn't you just LOVE that post she made about her birthday being ruined by her new asshole boyfriend? Ya gotta laugh, dude, really you do!) - you can clearly see the type of man she is attracted to......hopelessly. You ARE in a different league to her 'type' of man, and never forget that. Also, her new dude doesn't actually think that much of her - except as a receptacle - which she KNOWS, but can't quite accept is true, and is hoping, hoping, HOPING she can change him to be, you know, sort of slightly asshole-ish and dangerous, but, hey, sort of sensitive when she wants that, too. Is she in for a shock! She's the real loser, dude. Boy, is she! Yeah, you are gonna feel bad you got nobody at the moment. That's only human. But, why rush in? The delays of fate are not always denials. You certainly don't want another half wit like her, do you? Try a change of scene, dammit, go down to the Gold coast, Brisbane, too, was chock full of chicks last time I was there. Byron Bay, that boho hang out. Perhaps, that's the place to get a REAL hippy chick, and not some 'charva' lover like your ex, whose current beau probably can't even spell poetry, let alone appreciate it.
Silver, It has now been three months, three months of phonecals, three months of trying to talk to one another as friends, three months of blame and guilt trips, when the truth is, is that we broke up because I fell out of love. Falling out of love doesnt make me a bitch. What you see here in this thread is what I have been hearing for the past three months, over and over again... What have I left to say but, "move on" For his sake, moving on would be best. There is nothing left where our relationship once stood.
chalk it up as experiance and move on. if you just sit around thinking about that kind of stuff its not going to get you anywhere. and frankly im not an expert but girls tend to not like when you talk about ex's.
i dont talk about her to other girls. alot of them know who she is anyway and then assume that i wouldnt be interested in them coz they look different. and what have i learned from the experience? i havent worked that one out yet.
Arn't you totally petrified that she's gonna read this... Didn't you say she was on these forums? Either way... we've all been there...maybe not for 3 month intervals.. but it's all a state of mind.. like it always is. ...Just try and keep yourself alive until you get over it pal. 'n Good Luck with that (Y)
No, Retro, falling out of love does not make you a bitch, and I don't know the precise nature of the break up. But, you have to be honest with yourself whether the relationship came apart as 'just one of those things', or that you were more attracted to another man's more, shall we say, 'cavalier' attitudes and nature? My gut instinct tells me - and, yeah, I could be wrong, here, and I actually hope that I am - but it tells me you have a 'weakness' for certain type of men , men who are really not in your best interests in the longterm. You have posted a fair few 'grumbles' about your current boyfriend, have you not? I have heard and seen carbon copy scenarios play out around me over the years, and they are like old, familiar road signs to me now. My experience and gut instinct tells me you are heading for a lot of problems, but it is hard to put an old head on young shoulders. It is also debatable whether lessons learnt the hard way are not sometimes the best. I hope that you can get your relationship into a healthy 50-50 balance, and that you can still talk to your ex with, perhaps a tad more symapthy and fond remembrance.....that was a pretty harsh post you made earlier! He is alone and wounded, and sensitive enough to feel this and declare it. That, to me, says a lot more about a person than the arrogance, inconsideration, boorishness that I believe really lie under the 'exciting, dangerous' veil of your current dude. Do what you feel is right, and time will tell whether this was or was not the case.
