I'm so excited I have to tell someone!

As some of you may know, my boyfriend has two kids with his ex wife and she has done things to prove herself as an unfit parent. Yesterday he was able to go with the cops to get them on an emergency order to change custody. I'm so excited that they are here. They needed it and so did my boyfriend. We've been having to try to keep ourselves occupied so we don't worry and stress too much. They were in another town because their mom up and moved. The school they were in here tried to hold places for them and they did. We are both very happy and excited they don't have to start over at another new school. I'm not allowed to tell much on Facebook just yet in case the ex and her man have friends in common. We don't want anything passed through the grapevine. I was so happy I almost cried so I just had to tell some people. He's still kinda in shock, he didn't think the system was going to work for him and certainly not as soon as it did.

If there are any dads out there wanting custody or visitation, get a lawyer and go for it. Be persistent, it WILL pay off!

 

Glad to hear you cats are happy, sure hope you're ready for the responsibility. Bet they're great kids though

 

It's a lot to take on, especially so suddenly. But the fact that they will both be in school will help both the kids and us get adjusted. They really are, and they get better and better the more time they spend with us. Thanks friend!

 

Sounds like these kids may be damaged, so be prepared for some rough roads ahead as they try to adjust.

 

Wow. Good for them and good luck to you. I'm in agreement with daisy. Get as much help as you can...informing school teachers, counselors, etc.

 

Yeah, she's really damaged them, but even at six and three they somewhat understand that she's not so great. It's sad, but at the same time it's good that they somewhat understand.

 

If the ex-wife is unfit then this sounds like a good solution so congratulations

I hope it's nice for all of you and goes well!

 

Oh she is very unfit. No income for the house besides her stripping, she's using cocaine, not taking her children to the doctor when they need it, hell she left them for weeks at a time only coming back for a few hours. The kids have told us there's no food at their mom's a couple time and grandparents have stopped by to check it out, it rang true.
I called DCFS on her about the child she has with her current "boyfriend" because of all this and many other things including the fact that he's been sick for the past two months with a last known temp of 104.6. He has not had his vaccinations and she did coke while she was pregnant or breastfeeding so I was concerned that it could be very serious and that his life may be in danger. Both her and the "boyfriend" have refused to take him to the doctor even though they would not have to pay a single penny.
It may not be mine or my boyfriend's, but it is the kids' brother and no child should be put through any of those things, especially a baby!

 

Also, I have a question for you guys. She doesn't really know me and while she's proven to be an unfit parent, she is still their mother so I feel she deserves to know a little about me. I don't ever want her or the kids to think that I don't want them to have a good relationship. I'm going to wait until things are more finalized before I try to talk to her, but I was wondering if any of you had suggestions on how I should go about talking to her and such? I also do not want her to feel like I'm trying to take her place or like I think I'm better than her.

 

Emergency custody usually means it is temporary. I hope that during that time you can establish that the children are better off in your care.

A word of caution, do not discuss the mother of the children, other than in a positive way in your home. Do not allow anyone else to outside of your home. Not only is it unfair to the children, it could also put you in a position that will not be viewed as favorable if by chance the mother decides to fight this order and have custody restored to her.

I hope that the ruling stays in his favour and that the children start to flourish.

 

I don't know, I wouldn't worry about talking to the mother right now, but when the kids ask about her I would be really sympathetic and simple in my responses.

 

It is not a matter of them talking to the mother it is talking "about" her in any way that could be considered negative.

If the mother does challenge this emergency ruling and the father wishes to then file for permanent custody the last thing that needs to be brought up is negative comments that have been made to the children or within their hearing range.

 

There is a hearing scheduled next week because he is going to go to court to make custody permanent. Not sure exactly how all of this will play out, but if the judge has any sense at all he won't give her custody back. The kids haven't even been upset about being away from their mom. His son asked once about when they were going to visit her and was relieved to hear that it may be a while so things can settle down a bit. For a while when we only got them every other weekend, they'd freak out any time we left somewhere because they were afraid they were going back to her house. We recently found out that her "boyfriend" has been hitting the kids. Not just normal spanking with his hand either. He's been hitting the three year old girl with a fucking spatula all over, including her "peepee". Before now they would lie and say no because they were afraid it would rock the boat.
We never say anything bad about their mom or her "boyfriend" around the kids. In fact, I make sure to be positive about their mother every chance I get. Every time we had to drop them off to her, I made an attempt to get them amped up about seeing her. The closest we get to saying anything negative about her is when the kids talk about her doing terrible things or ask why she does them. And we don't specifically bash her. We explain that no one is perfect and that some people just don't always make the best decisions.
I know she's terrible and has done terrible things, but I honestly believe there's good somewhere in her. For those of you that are religious: please pray for her and the kids. If you're not, cross your fingers for 'em. She's only twenty-two. She's got plenty of time to turn her life around, I'm really hoping that she does.

 

by what you have said you DO think you are better than her....you likely are.....do not attempt to talk to this woman unless she approaches you...it will not work out the way you hope....these situations never do

also....strippers know bikers...be careful....2 sides to every story

good luck to the children

 

I hope you and your boyfriend don't break up in several years.
Good luck.

 

Glad for ya, custody battles are terrible. But ffs you are 20..so much drama and so young..

 

Exactly, around that age I once offloaded my cat at the time to my mum cos I wasnt home enough. One puddytat was too much responsibility. Two of someone elses kids, jeez

 

I'm no better than anyone, but I do treat her kids better than she does. Sometimes I can't help but to question whether she even has a heart just because of the things we hear from the kids.

But anyways...it'll still be a while before I say anything to her. I will let court and all that be over with.

Also, don't care who she knows. They can't beat a machete or a hatchet. Lol.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DzcOCyHDqc"]Indiana Jones : Sword vs. Gun - YouTube