i'm scared to be myself

wow.. with an attitude like that it's probably best for us all.. including yourself.... if you stay hidden in your self made artificial facade of yourself

matyrdom and egotism in one self made bundle ... scary

the future is lookin' bright, sparky

 

I totally understand, and i'm feeling the same way right now, ... sort of. It's painful, it's hard ... revealing who you really are, ... letting the mask slip and being real. It's inspiring for me to know that just one person at least (you), is facing themselves and reaching for something deeper.
I've been through all this before and it can get very painful. Don't be afraid of people and what they think or say... they don't know, few people will understand but i bet a couple of people around you right now will have a non judgemental ear and will listen and be your friend through this. Don't be afraid of breaking down, falling apart emotionally ... we have to go deep within ourselves to bring the unconcious/unknown parts into conciousness to be explored and understood, forgiven, accepted and loved, ... and when we've done that, we're whole. Nothing is hidden anymore and there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. There comes a point where it really doesn't matter what people think because you know yourself and have accepted yourself. Life is skin deep for most people but there's so mutch more inside ... a whole lot more.
Trust in your process, go with the flow and trust that help is being given. Steel yourself in the hard times and keep returning to your center.
You don't actually need to open to others ... just yourself, and your interactions with others will reflect that. In my experience people generally find it quite endearing, ... a few find it sickening and threatening but don't worry about them.
Why wait for others to show us how? We could be waiting forever. There's no time like the present.

 

try some welbutrin, it also helps adhd

 

NTH, I care, hun. You'll get through this. Don't forget, you've been helping me get MY messed up head straight. That alone should qualify you for one miracle out of 3.

 

thank you for this. it is a long journey, finding yourself and learning to love those parts you've shoved away and refused to look at for so long. it's a deep, slow, often painful process, and yet it's so good. someday maybe i won't feel the automatic knee jerk circle in upon myself and protect from anyone and everyone out there. apparently i came into this world with a very sensitive soul, and instead of letting it make me stronger, i allowed myself to put up barriers. while i did have a pretty traumatic childhood, i can't blame all of it on the situations i've been through. always i have choice. and i've chosen to do this, perhaps for the simple lesson of learning to be open, to find myself, and to face my deepest fears and find strength in my vulnerability.

above all, it is encouraging to be supported by someone else who understands the process and the emotions that go with it.

 

I have come to realize I may be an INFP (personality type). http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP_per.html

It may be you too.
I like it but it has it's downfalls.

 

But if you really arent yourself around them , then they dont get a chance to like the REAL you...they are becoming friends with someone thats not real......I know its hard , but , pick one person you really trust and let them get to know the REAL you....after that...it might be easier to let someone else in.

 

fuckin when i get around people i dont really talk and shit anymore. i mean i feel like im gonna be judged.

cant realy open up to people easily. and to be myself like my interests get stepped over cause i just let them talk and shit. idk.

 

yeah, it's totally understandable to NOT want to open up to people when one is going to be judged by any idiot that comes along. The most frustrating thing for me is I could, if I wanted to, lie with utter conviction, and believe it myself, and have done so to pass a polygraph test....but being blatantly and bluntly truthful gets me labeled as a liar, a manipulator, someone trying to use others.

I've been in the situation of being able to use others, and it's far far more easy than being truthful...but not everyone can handle someone being wholly truthful (insofar as a human being is capable of such a thing), and will attack you, or even try to maim you, emotionally, psychologically, or even physically for it.

 

The problem with Pseudo-psychology is that the data is made from instincts that are flawed by personal belief and perspective and are basically down right subjective and inaccurate and the conclusions that are drawn usually aren't any better... so Nakedtreehugger, don't listen to this BS.

 

Beyond someones personality, mind and emotions, they are exactly the same thing you are. How can you be afraid of that? They are you ... you are they. Not separate. Trust that and then find out the truth of it.

 

The simple truth is Popeye was right when he said; I am what I am an’ that’s all what I am.

There is no such thing as a hidden “real” you. The "real" you is the whole you, some of which you may try to hide but it’s all you!

The problem comes from thinking that some part of you is not you, but it is. If you don’t like something about you then change it and then the change becomes you.

But if you keep saying that who you are is not you, then you spend all your time asking; Who I’m I, rather than just living and enjoying your life.

 

Very true, ... when one has accepted themself fully, ...this is the realisation of 'realisation', or 'I am what i am' ... and always was. The percieved split is a result of ego .. of trying to be better/more/perfect ect. ...anything other than what you are.
But saying this doesn't seem to make anything easier for people ...

 

The nakedtreehugger I know says many humourous and/or intelligent things. She is also incredibly caring towards others. I know her personality but I have not yet witnessed her in her full state of being. Society can be very shallow and this will make clear the fact that, as stated, life is just one big popularity contest. Sad as it is - that seems to be true. The first step towards anything is to learn to recognise our value and our positive contribution to the world. Once confidence is obtained, we can override this stupid popularity contest.

 

I guess I have to say that there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with percieving life as a popularity contest, if it's okay with you and that you could percieve the world as a whole lot worse thing.

 

I think defining what people mean when they say 'being real' would be useful here. It true that at any given time, you 'are what you are', but hey, one can be in denial of that and hide away or project the part of themselves they can't deal with.... an hence not really 'be themselves' and therefore always live in the future ... when they somehow 'will' be themselves. But of course tomorrow is never now. Also people can become stuck in the past, simply thinking they are who they always have been ...externally, not realising they can change or move forward, ... turning the page so to speak. Yet accepting who you are now is intrinsic to 'being real' in any case. So yes, you are who you are ... but who is that?

 

Hi,
I just joined this forum, and have been looking around. This is the first thread I've replied to, because the subject line is something I used to have trouble with. I'm a lot better now, but I just thought I'd pass along some quotes that might help. Peace!

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ~Oscar Wilde

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves? ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, but why he had not been Zusya. ~Walter Kaufmann

 

Easy for you to say!

 

Well howdy do, some mighty fine quotes you got there.

Keep on dancing,
OWB

 

wow! you went really deep with this, and i appreciate it! you put things into words that i'm going "YES" to! i tend towards the living in the future side of things... when someday i will feel like an adult, someday i will be myself, someday... if this circumstance is just so and that one, and that one... then i'll feel worthwhile and like myself.

and somehow, that just skips over all the looking within myself it takes in order to grow up. life circumstances don't make you an adult or capable of making good decisions or a loving person, or an enlightened being. they affect you, but can't BE you. so to be myself, i have to separate myself from the ideas that i am a series of circumstances, and realize that i am so much more than that. it's quite the process, completely reordering your entire through process.