im messed in the head

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by cousinit, May 9, 2004.

  1. cousinit

    cousinit Member

    Ive had a rope around neck probably over 50 times in the last year. im trying for a blood asfixiation. ya use just enough tension to make you pass out, then you hang and its lights out permanantly.

    i just dont a give shit anymore, figure once i die I i wont know i ever existed. so it makes no diference if i go now or in 50 years. I alwasy seem to give up though, im a fn pussy.

    fuck i need a beer
  2. Omniwulf

    Omniwulf Member

    Maybe you dont follow through cause you know deep inside that this is not the end.. even if you die you have to go some place and that may or may NOT be better.
    Dude make the best of what you got for now.. deaths coming in its good time and you'll get to see whats your fate when that time comes.

    Even if you where living right now in slow torture.. that maybe better then what you maybe going to. Better suck it up and try to beleave your having a good time.
  3. Fractual_

    Fractual_ cosmos factory

    that sounds a little selfish, dont you think?
  4. beer is a sound pretty fucking depressed as it is. i think you should probably try some juices or some liquid sunshine.
  5. Moro

    Moro Member

    Saying someone is selfish for wanting to die is just so stupid there isn't even a word for it. My mother goes on and on about how selfish I am, and you know what? It really makes me wanna go: Fuck it then, I am selfish!
    And then slash my wrists.

    Ok, let me tell you a TRUE story. It's about a friend of one of my friends, Daniel.
    Daniels father left him when he was a child. Daniels mother remarried, and the guy she married would hit her and Daniel and his brother Chris whenever he felt like it. Then Daniels mother got sick of it and ran off when Daniel was 15. Daniels step father left too so Daniel and Chris were left completely alone. They had to quit school and get jobs so they could pay the bills and buy food.
    Last year, Daniel killed himself. He was 17.

    OK, in that story, who's the selfish one? Think about it, but I think you'd have to be nuts to think that it was Daniel.

  6. kier

    kier I R Baboon old are you?
  7. cousinit

    cousinit Member


    I have pretty wild mood swings, daily and for no aparent reason, weird shit. My mood must a really gone down shit creek in a leaky conoe, cause I dont mention this stuff, not even to people I know. Dont know why i posted it here.
  8. WeeDMaN

    WeeDMaN a pothead

    There have been times of my life where I wanted to kill myself and thought I had no choice, I got busted for drugs from my perents and had to write a statement to the police about a Break in which they thought I was involved in. That nite my dad yelled and hit me around a lil. When I went to bed that night I was so depressed I felt sad, was almost to cry cuz I was thinking about eating all the pills in my medicine cabinet the next day and ending my life. I didnt. and now I am happy, and didnt get charged for Break in and Im happy I didnt do it.
  9. crackforkids

    crackforkids Senior Member

    smoke some 5-MEO-DMT. boy, i bet you cant wait to get stuck in that hyperverse once you die!
  10. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    you only have 1 shot at this life dude

    yes, there may be some sort of after life...i don't believe there is, but if it gives you strength then go for it!

    but this life, on this earth, at this time...this is your only shot at it

    don't give up

    people have gone through hell and are not as low as them in your life...think positivly!!! do stuff...just have fun, who cares what people thinks? if it doesn't hurt anyone then just do it.

    please don't stop caring, don't think not talking about a glass being half full or empty....just think that you've still got a drink ;):)
  11. Hippy_Smurf

    Hippy_Smurf Member

    cousinit - It's a shame that you feel like your life is such a mess that the only way to improve it is by ending it. God knows enough of us feel that way sometimes. I don't know what issues you have right now obviosuly, but no matter how appealing the noose seems, it's not the right way out. Take your own life in your hands, mould it into something that you want. Be an active participant in your life, not someone approaches it passively.

    I'm probably not much use, but I hope it helps. I know I'm a bit younger than you, but I do have some kind of idea of what you're going through.

    Take care xXx
  12. If you're depressed you really shouldn't drink... It makes everything worse... And you said you get mood swings frequently... You might be bi polar.. ?

  13. Gem

    Gem Member

    I feel for you cousinit. Don't think of yourself as weak for not doing it, think of yourself as strong. Dying is the easy thing, it's living which is tough... but it also has its rewards. I wish you all the best, my thoughts are with you.

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