My husband and I were married happily for some years, we had our children (now 8 and 4)... but through the years I've found myself restless and unsatisfied. It never occurred to me that I might not be in the right place. I went to an all girls school growing up.... have crushes on other girls but as there were no lesbian relationships, I never really learnt about any of that and I followed the crowd, for want of a better phrase. My mum is deeply religious... she is mormon, so again I think I never rocked the boat on anything for fear of upsetting her and my family. Here I am in my 30's.... two kids and 9 years into marriage. The last 2 of which have been very rocky and I'm now realising why, having made a lot of new female friends in the last year. Some of those friends are very openly gay and I see how happy they are and I've been introduced to their friends and partners and I've began to have incredibly strong feelings for one of my new friends. I know she has equally strong feelings back. This has been going on like this for 6 months. Sex with my husband.... it's almost non-existant because I use every excuse to shy away from it and when we do, i feel shaken and upset afterwards, not that I tell him. I know what I want.... as im here and 30... I just dont know what to do now? i dont want to be in my straight marriage. but i dont know how to get out of it..... and my family, i dont know how they will take any of this. I sit any time i am alone and think about how I would word such a conversation with my husband... i can't live like this any more.