I'm in a shitty mood today.

It's a beautiful rainy day outside... very poetic... but I have a migraine, I am lonely and bored as fuck, I have no money, last night I wasn't invited out with the rest of my "friends" like... okay maybe I was but I don't think I was missed or I'd have gotten a phone call or two or three for not joining the party... I wanna go out tonight but of course as always I bet because for once I wanna go, no one else is gonna want to, I might not be able to afford a beer, I feel like people expect me to pay for everything these days... and someone owes me money and all sorts of things and what the fuck is up with them not giving a fuck like... okay, sorry, I'm pissed.

And I'm frustrated that every time I dare mention how pissed-off I am, which I have every right to be, I fear people's reactions, being judged from past... whatever that's over but still used against me obviously... and like... hello, I'm human, I have emotions, I can control them now, although no one gives me a chance to show it, but sometimes I get annoyed... sorry for not being made out of plastic with a fake smile stuck on my fucking face. Oh, and sorry for not pretending to be miss zen so that it pleases whoever the fuck it might be, and choose to be myself instead. Which doesn't mean I have mental illnesses, that I can't control myself, or anything like that. At all.

...and don't you love it how my threads only make sense to me? Yeah, I love it too.

 

...and sorry for saying the f word a billion times. I don't pretend to be Barbie or anything.

 

It's a vent session. All good. Watch the randomness of the rain. How the drops form larger drops on the ground and flow randomly.

Lately I have been taking long road trips where as a passenger things just seem surreal. At times I felt like I was at the moment of death remembering random times in my life. Nothing special was going on, but I would look at the fields and sunshine and felt like this was a moment I would remember...

Sorry, I probably am not helping.

 

nice...its always good to express emotions no doubt...

 

I am in a really great mood today. Stupidly happy am I.

 

No, apparently, expressing your emotions make you scandalous and melodramatic.

 

i think its hot...

 

Hello, I'm Laety... I'm a little sour.

 

good, can we fuck?

 

I LOVE sour candy.

Or should I say, I am infatuated with SOUR candy?

 

yeah dude don't use the l word randomly please

 

LOL Penny!

I read your initial post and your SOOO making sense to me It's raining here in London too... I've been so naughty with $$$ lately without fear of consequence. I've just been living for the moment playing around with my friends day by day.

I wouldn't judge you for being pissed off. I get the same feeling when I'm not flying straight. Feel free to PM me whenever... I still have you on MSN Messenger. Feel free to 'shoot the shit' when you like mate! Hell, I've got some stuff I would like to talk to U about 2

 

snaps...im down..lol...i think its hot when girls are pissed, those moments are when they are the prettiest...had to edit it..didnt make sense for shit

 

well as long as it's not insanity... I think being pissed-off in a sane way proves you have a soul.

 

yeah for real, dont want those insane girls..had enough of those

 

I liked reading your post and hearing you vent. I wish more people would be open about what's bothering them. I get so fed up with life sometimes but I find that even though I know I should vent, I hold it in. I guess it's because I don't want to cause complications in my relationships with others and the fact that I'm afraid of what power I might be giving to others by sharing information about my feelings concerning them, and life in general.

In the end I'm left to struggle with my problems alone, languishing in misery and loneliness.

Not a good alternative. Vent away!

 

I love you

 

Is your name really Penny? I think I'll always imagine the character from Inspector Gadget when I hear it. You know, the one with the computer? I think I had a childhood crush on her at one point.

 

No need to apologize for expressing yourself. Whatever you need to vent go right ahead.

Honestly my heart goes out to you. I've been here long enough to know some of what you've been thru the past year. I think you sounds pretty damn together considering what you've just been thru.

 

No my name's really Laety..

.. and thank you Peanuts, I appreciate it... *hugs*