Im honestly.

Well i am glad that i am not the only one who feels that, as far as the Christian television, i am Christian, well i am working on it, but i have a laugh at how these "holy" me interpret the same bible i have read. But basically it is for laughs.

 

I think talking to you mama about this would be a wonderful idea. Perhaps if you get her perspective, you can understand more than you do now!

Again, I will insert my own experience, but it took me being 32, the age of my mother's accident to begin to understand her. I was able to forgive her. I was stoned one night with my journal and started writing. The stuff that came out of me was very insightful and amazing. And yes, forgiving.

 

I dont get it though, my dad seemed like a nice guy, he has never been abusive toward her from what i know, im not sure why she would take that away from me. I guess i have only met him twice so maybe he is a dead beat but he didnt seem like it... it could be a good opportunity to re-meet my brother and sister... ive only met them once and again they live in the same city...

 

I am going to guess that many people feel the same way that we do. but when you are depressed, isolation seems to be the way of the mental world. A world of seperation and confusion.

There is a sun out there and it will get better. As soon as you decide that you have had enough.

I have got to go now but would completely be open to PM'ing if you feel comfortable with it.

 

TY, i may take you up on that, but if i snap out of this, i wont be back on HF's for awhile so its a bit of a catch 22.

 

well if it will make ya out of depression (what i doubt), then maybe
coz in my next incarnation i'll certainly be the next dalaj lama

 

He's absolutely right....I don't really think "institutionalizing" oneself is the right thing to do if one feels they are "depressed". First of all, majority if not all of depression is simply opinion. Literally, you basically choose to be depressed or not. Granted there's certain circumstances you can't choose to have happen/happened, it's just how you look at everything that determines how you feel.

It's VERY hard to do this...I'm having a hard time with it right now myself, but I can barely walk and I am facing that fact that it's likely I will never be able to even walk normal again.(I've had bad knees since I was 14, can't even remember the last time I was able to run, let alone jog). For someone that is use to being outside hiking or doing at least something it's a very hard reality to accept. So, try to focus on the positives in your life, rather than the things that supposidly cause these feelings of "depression". For example, if you have your health by VERY greatful...I'd give ANYTHING to have my legs be healthy...so focus on that (assuming you have decent health).

I know it's very difficult, and shit man....I feel I'm currently "loosing the battle" as well...and I know that if I had two healthy legs I would never be in this position as I'm usually very optimistic, but hey..."it is what it is" right...so if any specific "thing" is getting you down just remember that becoming worried or angered because of it solves nothing.

(You're an Australian citizen right....you get medicare?)

If this was indeed true, then that'd be the same thing as saying my knees will undoubtedly get better, as they are the main thing causing my feelings of sadness.

 

dalaj lama! is that the spiritual leader of Ikea?

 

Fuck it

 

I should take a picture of my knees, then maybe you wont try and be my personal Jesus, i think you'd be quite surprised...

 

Oh no....I'm not trying to be your personal Jesus in any way man (I can't even be my own Jesus)...I'm just telling you all that I can from my perspective. If anything I'm on the same page as you. Shit, when you find something that "works" please let me know...

So, you are not in "good" physical health? (at least you've got medicare)

 

Sorry i am a bit on the defensive at the moment, this whole thread seems to have been about me not taking peoples priceless advice.

So sorry about it, yeah i have really bad knees, i have osteo condromis, so basically i have bone coming side ways out of my knees...

PS
Im not sure what medicare is suppose to do as i have spent my whole life listning to doctors tell me there is nothing they can do for me...

 

Is that contributing to this "depression"? (that's probably a stupid question)...I'm sure it is/does in some way or another...I feel you there 100% man...and any family issues as well. I wouldn't be posting in this thread if I didn't feel I had been in the same general position you are in right now...Just so happens I'm in it now.

Regardless of what "advice" other people give you, none of it is going to help, as it's really entirely up to you. I can only say this, because I've made this realization over and over again for the past 5 years. What's right for one person isn't always right for another, but really a lot of this is just opinion. Maybe try to take a different look at things....but shit dude, I'm not trying to give you any "advice"...if I did don't take it, because apparently it hasn't worked for me either.

Once again...I feel you there man. Just speaking from personal experience...I've had health insurance and not had it...having it is MUCH better, especially when you have bad legs. Otherwise you'd pay $200+ a doc visit, $1,500 for MRIs, etc...etc..(surgery is well over $20,000 in most cases). I don't know what I'm gonna do right now without it...I can't get a job because I can't walk right, and there's sooo many bills.

 

Yeah man it contributes a lot, i often have dreams about cutting my hands off, which is hard to explain why because i dont know the names of the individual bones but yeah, its not cool.

But yeah man i appreciate the non judgemental advice.

Fuck i kinda wanna take a picture because you wouldnt believe it unless i showed you.

 

Oh, I believe it...but I'd love to see a pic...I've spent many hours for the past 5 years studying the knees, because of the various problems I've had with mine. And, I know it's wrong to take comfort in another's anguish (not really what I'd be doing), but it'd give me that "I'm not alone" feeling if you know what I mean...(In terms of people with bad knees...although I've seen many people that do have bad knees already)

 

I know how you feel. I hope you feel better
HUGS

 

Ok but i will take the pic down, i hope your ready for this.

 

agreed.

 

As someone who's been raped by her father I can honestly say everyone's pain is still relevant and important-as important as mine, no matter what incident triggered it.
We all have our baggage. Noone's is more important than anyone else's.

 

Sounds like you got dealt a shitty hand. Do you have a plan for changing it around? I know when I have a plan I always feel so much better.