I'm gonna be late for work because....

My poncho is drying

 

im collecting nuts.. like DUH.

 

my donkeys on ketamin

 

My wine has reach impeccable fermentation today

 

I was puncherd by a vampire

 

a tank drove over my car... you might have seen it on the rerun news...

 

my brain is on strike

 

hit by a poison dart...

 

eaten a bagel ...

 

a seagull drilled its beak through my skull, and then my gray matter was oozing over the rugs, I had to go to the Dr and get a rug cleaner,

 

.... stupid mandatory sentencing for sodemy laws......

 

it was raining and Noah lied and said I must get on his boat with a baboon!

 

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

 

I got abducted by a bunch of raccoons.

 

I went for a bikini wax, and the beautition was short sighted

 

some hobalo murdered me

 

zipper accident

 

Its my birthday month

 

IM a lazy oink

 

it's Thanksgiving Day (USA)