I'm gonna be late for work because....

Life is so much bigger than being tied to the ways of the Machine man!!

I'm going for a swim, I'll be in later

 

there happens to be some sort of monster climbing up the stairs.....

 

I was gravity-challenged.

 

my face was too itchy and I scratched it off

 

I'm am of impeccable health and capability

 

I overdosed on Halloween candy.

 

I gotta dig taters....

 

The Jehova's witnesses that knocked at my door this morning didn't want to go.

 

I climbed up the telly phone pole this mornin to answer the fone, cain't get back down....;-)

 

i was held kidnapped by my overpowering bedsheet. my efforts were futile.

 

woke up in my neighbors house, my arm is stuck under his wife, cain't wriggle free...

 

someone stole my car key...not all of them ....just the one key for the car

 

i smoke weed

 

my "morning routine" is taking a little longer than usual

 

I had to pray or baby Jesus was gonna cry.

 

the walls are breathing and my eyes are dilated. the patterns are shifting... i must have put the wrong sugar cubes in my coffee O.O

 

floes borrowed my bicycle....

 

I'm gonna be late for work because I'm driving from Oklahoma and it's gonna take a few days

 

I went for a hike and got stuck in the mud.

 

I went through a time portal and was almost killed by Jack the ripper !