I'm gonna be late for work because....

lil vietnamese girl has ahold of my foot and will not let go.. im not complaining..

 

^ I had to visit a friend in a saigon jail!

 

I got arrested for videotaping Orisons trip to Vietnam :leaving:

 

Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang...

 

I had to go to the dentist.

 

I had a little car trouble.

 

I was horny and, well, you know ....

 

I used up all of my sick days, so today I'm calling in dead

 

I'm going to be late for work because...

I don't have a job

 

I came in late to make up for all the times I left early.

 

I been through the desert on a horse with no name.

 

it took awhile to gnaw through the leather straps.

 

coming in first award.

 

ran over by a dang elephant...;-)

 

Preparation H looks like Crest at 5am , you don't want to know the rest!

 

Had to wax my leg hair.

 

i fell outta bed and landed on my morning hard-on

 

my shower curtain fell and hit my head, and I have to get stitches

 

I had to stitch up someone's head cause they had a shower curtain fall on it