I'm begging the people that post in here

Hmmmm...kidder here... poster and prick. Well, not always. Somethingwitty, your poem is a prose poem, something that's usually considered 'found poetry.' The latter term refers to any passage in prose that offers the promise of making the easy transfer to poetry through deft line breaks. Yours is okay. The problem with prose poetry is that it invites the question- is it better as prose or poetry? And, with your offering, you already know the answer to that.

 

i only read the first post here and normally i wouldnt say something like this to someone but now i think it is needed: shut the fuck up "somethingwitty"!!!
fuck off, you cant tell someone how to express. it doesnt work. go away you facist

 

Hi somethingwitty,
Interesting how you don't like cliches when your poem is basically an examination of one, i.e. "what's the worst that could happen?" that is soooooooooooooooooooooooo cliche take all that out, it's not very clever, and just stick to the experience.
I posted here once and got so little response. I don't know, I think this forum has no focus.
becca

 

hi there

i decided to answer just for the sake of being me....
i long to see the face the mouth the mind of you ,
you somethingwitty. the written words
of yours...dont fdo your soul justice.....


so i write to you.
go grow within the morning,not from the past
fears you may carry.
not from the very being you scare words with.
to annoy all other poets.......

maybe time will allow the morning to grow
within you,your heart, your mind yourself.
i let pass only those with manners,
yet you crawled into this thread.
so carry the attitude with care,
step gentle on others as you venture.
the world is harsher than ,than you
something witty,so write something
witty instead......

love n peace from saff

i suggest we are all part of everything
and something witty is part of us...human
learning living trying to give,
good luck witty boy....

 

wow Saff that was incredible!!

 

Ok, maybe this would help if we looked a different art form. If somebody asked you to come listen to them play at a saxophone recital, and they made it sound like a dying cow, would you encourage them to keep on playing like that?

not at all, but I'd tell them on an individual basis. No point telling orchestra it sucks if it's only one violin....

Honestly if what I said offended or enraged anyone, you must in some way know what I said is true, otherwise you wouldn't get so fussy about it. you know that's twaddle...however, I do find it interesting that everyone posted a poem for you to judge!! lol

..and if poetry is such a selfish and personal endeavor, why post it here??? Just to get praise??? Please grow up. Stop pretending (hehehe, as the cliche goes...) that your crap doesn't stink. as i said before, the motivation of everyone differs...you can't change that.

Not everything someone spews out deserves praise. If you posted here to get feedback, well I gave you feedback, I'm trully sorry if I came off as an elitist, that wasn't my intention. no i absolutely agree, that not everything deserves praise. and i also know from experience that constructive comments or critique aren't welcome here either, and that's a bad thing. And I posted here to get feedback, sure, but on my own work, not as a member of this forum. By lumping me in with everyone else, I feel insulted, not because they're bad, but because you didn't take time out to tell me how my work can be improved.


About my poem, the form of it in terms of syntax and visual blocking was much different before I put it into the post box thing, it basically butchered it.

yeah yeah, any excuse...honestly, the first half was good, readable, witty..it was too long and repetitive for my taste, but then, you're not after feedback are you, just proving that you have a right to criticise...

 

Look here, Somethingwilly, I'm a bit pissed, right an' I thought I could write a really good poem whist I'm like this. An' I did, but I backspaced and now I lost it. It's gone! And it was good, man. There was no cliches and shit in it. It was like, you got to believe me, right? Even though you haven't visited your own thread for a while an' we're all just talkin' to empty space, like, you still have faith in us ain't ya? This poem had these words in it that were really good and not totally derogatory to you and I was wonderin' if you could, like press that button that makes me look more popular like those other popular guys that have many green lights under the name that the rest of us wonder how the fuck did that guy get so popular and we want to be like that too. Because it's important. Anyway, tomorrow I'll get drunk again and I'll try an write another non-cliche low-fat poem just fer you, something on the lines of...
I read your poem on this forum,
Whilst I scratched my hairy scrotum.

Do you think it has potential? Please offer me some advice. I refuse to go to the toilet until you do.

 

First off, for the people that actually read the peom I wrote, I actually appreciate it. It seems that the feeling was that it is a bit long winded and lost interest, and you all might just be right, I'll work on it some more. I didn't post it to justify criticism, I posted it because it was requested that I did.


Secondly, I don't care how people express themselves, but if it sucks, don't post it for other people to read and expect them to give it praise.

Many of the poems sound like they were written by a 6th grader with a crush, or whose dog died. They are forcing words out thinking that it sounds intelligent, or more meaningful. I'm sorry if you all want to think that simply because someone expresses themselves its beautiful art. I can see the merit and beauty in the effort itself, but as far as the actual work goes, it's not neccessarily good. I challenge anyone to keep those peoms for 5, maybe even 10 years....then look back on them. Almost guarenteed they seem poorly written.


And saffron, haha, I'm not the one resorting to personal attacks and anger...things which typify an insecure and scared individual.

Anyhow, this thread has become completely worthless, I seriously can't believe the reactions of people in this forum.

 

I agree with somethingwitty. Most of the poetry I read on these forums are cliche-ridden and boring. They sound like they're written by angst-filled highschoolers who have been dumped by bf's/gf's and feel the world is against them...so of course they must express their anger through rhymes...

As for your poem, somethingwitty, I enjoyed it. It kept my interest and it was one of the best I've read on these forums.

Everyone who got so offended by what he had to say has got to relax. He expressed an opinion, and didn't single any one person out. What he said was true, in my opinion. It's his thought, let him have it. That doesn't mean that you all have to stop writing and posting.

As for what was said about keeping a poem you wrote now and looking back on it in 5-10 years...I've done that. It's hilarious. It's amazing what some people think is good, and how your opinion can change after a few years...haha.

 

Somethingwitty...

You don't seem to understand the soul of poetry. There are many poets in this world who cannot condense into words the magical song of joy that resounds within them, yet their very lives are the highest form of poetry. Then there are those who colour our world with words so sublime in a million rich hues of feeling and imagery. But don't forget those who write in simple and common words, plain regular phrases. Often these are the most honest poets, who bare their souls in black and white, not hiding behind masks and metaphors.

A true poet deals in emotions, not opinions. A true poet paints a scene, but doesnt interpret it for you.

It takes the same soul to read poetry. What you get out of it depends greatly on what you bring into it, just like with life in general. Remember:

One man's shit is another man's fertilizer.

 

I agree with ArtistofPeesh for agreeing with Somethingwitty.
But I don't agree with a lot of other things. Anyway, someone should stick up for the guy, because I quite like this thread. There are a lot of poems that Artistofpeace perhaps might have a point about. Maybe if you were in the same state of mind it might actually mean something to you. At this juncture in time, I myself don't find myself in that predicament, but does that mean I criticize them? Hell no, I just don't read them! I mean for crying out people, it's like sitting in a meeting in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest sometimes in here! If you see a thread something along: 'O Woe and Betide My Girlfriend's Left Me For Someone With A Bigger Ding-Dong' and you click on it, then you're hardly going to be expecting W.B Yeats are you? Anyway, I see a lot of talking in here and not enough action and this, unless I'm mistaken, is the cliche forum thread so a promise is a promise:

I wondered like a drunken layabout,
Through the streets of my old town,
When I stopped to have a shout
Whilst the people turned to frown.

When will all the cliches stop?
I yelled into the stars of yonder.
As the tears begun to drop,
Everyone begun to ponder.

You're OK son they all said,
Don't listen to something witty,
Write good cliches to get laid,
And your life will not be shitty.

Thank you and good night.

 

Hahahahaha...

 

Great poets beg to be read again and again and again. Just like a good movie. You'll want a second helping. With few exceptions- Shakespeare being one of them- most great poets have volumes of seldomly visited work. Their best output is dwarfed by what would, if they were candid, embarrass them.

 

No man, it's like there are all kinds of people, eh? There are creators, artists, the imaginative, and there are critics and naysayers. Maybe somethingwitty is just trollin and havin' fun, that's fine. But a forum is just that. You're either forum or again' 'em, he he.

People who diss other people's art (to their face) are called a-holes where I come from. At least is seems to this hippie to be an a-holish thing to do. Folks got a right to share either way, granted. but don't expect someone coming along and putting a blanket diss on the entire collective body of poetry here without people calling balderdash on that crock of egocentric hooey.

Other than that I wouldn't let it make me miss my next BT or nuthin' like that, just a blemish on the epidermal layers of humanity.
Peace, V-

 

That lad (above) looks like he wants to get laid. Where I come from the freakier you are the luckier you get. Hey, personally speaking, that explains a lot!

 

Is that the real Papa Smurf I see in the photo?

 

hi there
so you havenet personally attcked any poet on here
just re read you thread start...mmm

no i dont attack you dear witty,
you forget the question in your thread
i wrote a poem.....re read it if you like......
im afraid if you place somethng on here,i may read,and reply
if you cant take the replys of truth then dont
post here....for a action always creates a reaction
which is really what you were looking for
people to reply to you good or bad....
it gives you a great feel of being somone....
to be replied too.

poetry is from within,what ever someone writes
who ever they are at a given time,in the path of growing.
so why question what is writen,to learn and grow
or listen to someones understanding......
dont allow yourself to bulid a wall of poetic snobbery..........

and please if attacking me,be more open about how you feel,
dont beat around the bush...
i do know my self therefor i will reply to your words.if i feel
it needed to help you past this fear of answers from others.
it only causes the mind to feel paronoid....somewhat insucure...

this shows within your poetry in what you achive
in what you write.
so i send this....

dont point at those who all ready know
that life,is not what you see what you cast
the pebbles may roll,under waves so free
yet to dance on others,may cost more
than the hour.......within the glass
the sand may spill.the life is in
you vessel...


thank you for replying to my first poem witty....

keep searching ..
keep living
love n peace from saff

i only be me because no one else can be..........

 

you rawk saff

 

I think what White Scorpion said is very eye opening. As a student, I have realized that sometimes, because we take one class that teaches us a theory, me and my fellow students try to apply that theory to the world around us in a process of growth and end up faltering sometimes. For example, I used to judge poetic works according to a certain structure and form I had been taught. While some of these devices such as Rhyme and meter etc can enhance certain poems, I now have a teacher who is helping me to understand that sometimes the best poetry breaks the traditional rules. Now I am rambling but so often I feel that people my age put opinions out there that might be a crooked product of our robotic school systems. Not that I think it is wrong. I do this as well and I use the excuse that I am still descovering the world around me. I think that we have not yet reached our full intellectual potential and will soften or alter some of our positions as we live a little more. Does anyone get what I am saying?

 

while i somewhat agree with the intention of the original post, i think it was not very well done. you can't come on here and make huge generalizations to the group, if you think something someone wrote is cliche and want to offer a suggestion to 'make it new' or 'show don't tell', do so on their individual threads where you can use real examples etc.


i only tell you this because, after reading your one poem, i would say that there are at least a few poets who post here who are far better than you are.