I'm an Atheist that wished I had faith

This isn't to incite debate or make a point; it's simply a confession/reflection of my personal thoughts and feelings.

I grew up in a Catholic environment; loved my Catholic elementary school, but was always fairly agnostic.

I remember in kindergarten, hearing the story of Jesus helping the invalid when he was supposed to be leaving town. There was so many people gathered outside Jesus had to be hoisted in through the roof. I remember thinking it was a nice story. Just like Batman.

When I would lose things when I was younger, which was a common occurrence, I would pray to St Francis - but I never took it very seriously; more of as a superstition than anything.

I never believed until we just narrowly escaped a house fire; my mother attributed it to God saving us, and I guess I found faith because of her.

Throughout my puberty and early teens I found a lot wrong and illogical with the readings and even, at times, my Pastor's beautiful sermons. It was when I was going through confirmation that I realized that my faith had dried up. I decided to read the Bible. That was the killshot.

I'm not happier as an Atheist. I still think with lines of Christian thought, then have to remind myself how irrational it is. When I do something wrong: "If my *insert dead relative* is watching me..", when weather's horrible when I'm late to work: "God must really be pissed at me right now."

I feel like my brain has a virus that it just can't shake. But the truth is, I'm jealous of people with God by their side. People that have someone to talk to when no one else is around. That have the confidence of an invisible hand guiding them; the sacrifice of someone to blame for their ills, and someone to save them from those very sins.

Jesus was way cool; and as much as I am proud of myself for growing up; I miss him.

 

I can relate although i would not describe myself as in the thread title. Perhaps I am past my seeing myself as an atheist phase (most likely since I was about 20).
I would say I am a person with a lot of faith who sometimes wishes it would fit a religion.

Just wondering: Jesus isn't cool anymore?

 

Haha, that line was actually kind'f a reference to a song. But I just meant for me personally. And Jesus is still a helluva lot cooler than most Bible characters.

References:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUrqaJZH-04"]Jesus was way cool - YouTube

 

I always had a weakness for David myself. Pretty cool character!

 

You said you have read the bible..have you actually studied it?

 

and for me, Job and Jesus are pretty cool

and of course Satan, hate that mother fucker..lol

 

King David was about fools for the wise. For instance, must a person have happiness for the judgment of a true goal he believes in? Choosing the goal may be for 'sadness', like Daniel's.:biggrin:

 

Having faith and having faith in the bible are two separate issues.

You might be able to embrace some version of faith if you want to.

I see it this way. There's no rational explanation for the existence of the universe. In order to be rational, the universe must have a cause, but an original cause must be found that has no cause.

So then one must say the universe just "is" without cause. If the universe can exist without a cause, then truly anything is possible. Logically, the universe must originate with the irrational, and there is no reason to think that anything that follows is rational either.

Perhaps there is a way you can throw away parts of your religious past that you dislike or can't believe in, and embrace the parts that you do like.

 

When teaching existentialism, a philosophy professor of mine told us something based on Camus' work. For men to live they must have value and meaning. Value and meaning are an irrational need, and men can find value and meaning in anything they wish. So find your own value, make your own meaning.

As far as the universe goes; why must there have been nothing at some point? Why couldn't the universe just always have been in a state of flux? Some things just are. Like the rules the molecules follow. No one has to guide these properties for them to make the correct compositions; they just happen that way.

We observe things in terms of a human mind; in terms of a linear progression; but the universe may not be linear. The more we find out about the universe, the more mysteries we find. Maybe there is a limit to what we can understand.

Unfortunately, one thing does seem certain to me; and that's mortality. And in the face of the end; everything I do seems so pointless. Which is why I envy the thought of an eternal reward.

 

Actually there are three issues: having faith in love, having faith in truth (the bible), having faith in one's country. Nobody needs to have faith in one's family or creator.

 

Its hard to imagine G-D created the Heavens and the Earth in 6days.. But I believe it..

 

Are you Jewish, Orison?

 

How have you determined that? Because it works for you personally? Why do you consider faith in your country as more important than faith in your family?

 

no. Im German/Polish/Native American.
an angry stupid drunk Indian, it can show at times.

 

I've only ever seen Jewish people spell it "G-d".

 

She probably ment your religious beliefs

 

Ok, you can say "the universe just is", but that is not a rational explanation for its existence. It's not any different from saying "god just is".

 

opps lost the thread..

I'm a Muslim, A Secular Muslim.. if there is such a thing.
I was Catholic, non confirmed, after 911, I appreciated Islam because of the horrible things I witnessed/assisted upon the peoples of Iraq. Ive read the Quran, I have read it a few times like novel and I find it more colorful than the Bible. I went to Catholic school they ruined my grade school education so I could service their rituals for dead people mass.
But I pretty much believe in the Bible story.. and this..

But the Advocate, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

That is faith for ya.. :love:

 

i do not understand why anyone believes anything is not possible, nor why they would wish to more easily confuse blind assumptions with experiential and or shared realities.

to me neither of these concepts make any kind of sense.

of course i grew up in a mostly agnostic though also diestic home.

i simply see no conflict between the possible existence of completely non-physical things, and scientific exploration of physical reality.

the physical universe itself is diverse beyond knowledge or imagination.
the non-physical, should it choose to exist, and again i see absolutely nothing to exclude it from doing so, seems to me no less likely to be at least as much so.

certainly far beyond the limitations and expectations of familiar beliefs.

 

Well if everything is possible (maybe that is a slight algorithmic shift on the whole temporalizing of the "shared reality") but is considerably the ostensible world of the community for politics as much as U.N. environmentalists to puzzle, then why can't the same God not hypothetically exist in that ostensible world as the God of cosmologically created Physics? The Laws of Nature are for scientists even to derive for us the presence of a universe; at the same time the presenting of the universe is the self-determination of the possibilities we are actually in time exploring.:devil:

Okiefreak can continue this debate with Richard Dawkins.