If you've never been with the same sex and thought about it, I highly encourage you to go for it!

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by soulpoker, Jun 26, 2020.

  1. soulpoker

    soulpoker Members

    We should all feel entitled to our own sexuality, whatever it is, but of course within reason. Same sex experience is within reason. We live in a world where this is literally a crime punishable by death in some places, and in others where it's not significantly differentiated from opposite sex activity. The goal is to make the whole world more like the latter. Why? Because attraction to the same sex comes naturally to some people, and in fact more people than some realize. It is not fundamentally better or worse than opposite sex attraction. The only difference is same sex pairing can't result in offspring. That's it. The fact same sex activity overall is wrong or inferior is a myth. Obviously there are those who do not care for it at all, and such folks should be respected. But if you're open to swing both ways, that should be respected too.

    Society doesn't always encourage people of the same sex to get together. This discouragement usually causes a stigma around the idea. That is unfortunate since that is natural for some people. Moreover everyone deserves their options. It can be the source of major internal conflict. On the one hand some folks like the same sex. On the other hand society has conditioned them to believe it's evil or otherwise wrong.

    Don't you think a better way to frame that conflict would get more positive results? Again we have the givens of liking the same sex but being conditioned not to. If we step back we know the social conditioning is an illusion, a non necessity. Yes, this figment of society's imagination might still have an affect. But what if, instead of thinking of this in moralistic terms, in terms concerning societal approval, we think of it in terms of adventure? The same sex then is not seen as forbidden, but mysterious and illusive. I've never had any intimate experience with the same sex. I admit the thought kind of turns me on or at least intrigues me. Why not go on a journey to find out what the big deal is, rather than lose to homophobic conformity in a storm of confusion and self loathing? The journey could be fun, and more importantly enlightening. You might find being with the same sex is something you really enjoy. Why needlessly deny yourself pleasure in this world? But even if the destination itself really isn't all that, you could have the pride of having decided to seek and discover your sexuality on your own terms, not those of old clueless people who never thought for themselves for a second in their whole lifetimes.

    So if you've been dating members of the opposite sex rather unsuccessfully and someone of the same sex might make more sense to you, go for it. If you get in periods where you know the thought of sleeping with a member of the same sex gets you horny, go for it. If you find yourself in an environment all of a sudden where same sex pairings nonchalantly coexist with opposite sex ones and you want to explore what that is about, go for it. If you're in between SOs or hookups and always wondered, go for it. Don't let silly, arbitrary rules stop you. You have just as much right to seek your joy, happiness, etc. with the same sex as you do with the opposite sex. Don't be in a rush to label what you ultimately feel. Just work on yourself and anyone else you care to include.

    I do want to nudge people who are interested in this to have your first experience be one on one, especially the ladies. This new thing is and should be about you. Most guys are very excited by the idea of being in a threesome with two other women, myself included. It's easy then for the focus to go away from the first timer. But I understand this is a general recommendation, not meant to be applied rigorously to each instance. For some having one of each is a better idea. It could be a useful way to ease into the idea of being with the same sex. I still maintain involving less people tends to be slightly better for something as critical as a first experience, but in the end all I can suggest is carefully weigh the options, and be aware of the pros and cons.

    Even though I pointed out first time females in the previous paragraph, I want to make it clear all of this equally applies to first time males too. Women usually get discriminated against, but in this case it's the males that face more resistance. Female pairs are glorified especially in mainstream pornography and sensationalistic contexts. Lesbianism is hot, but it's considered for the delight of men almost as a fetish. With men if you're not 110% straight, you're "other." And it doesn't matter how much you like women, you're still "other." This doesn't have to be that way. This shouldn't be that way. Men have as much tendency, and right, to be as homosexual or bisexual as women do. So I offer an extra bit of encouragement for the fellows who are thinking along these terms.

    Of course be careful. I resent having to say it. As I said before the government in some places in this world can kill you for same sex activity. Some governments turn a blind eye to anti LGBT violence. There might be other disastrous consequences in general where you are or in your particular situation. Why some people feel the need to intimidate those who want intimate same sex experience I don't understand to the end. It doesn't make sense.

    But let's end with a positive note. If you have curiosities about being with members of the same sex, if if you know for sure this is what you want to be into, if you've done this in the past and are looking to reexamine things, you should feel entitled to proceed. It could be one of the happiest, most exciting experiences in your life. It will at least be eye opening and make you a well rounded person.

    Again, go for it.
     
  2. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy HipForums Supporter

    Did you REALLY need to present this exact same post in three different subforums? That's like going to a party and then standing up on a chair and shouting "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"
     
  3. soulpoker

    soulpoker Members

    Oh for... This post fits in different categories, so I put it where it is appropriate. I've done this here before. If the mods and management of this website thinks its excessive I understand. But if not it's not a big deal.
     
  4. Barry Mandelay

    Barry Mandelay Members

    Society’s sexual morals that have been ingrained into us over time says same gender sex is unacceptable. I believe sexual morals are mostly made up. They come from the desire by a few to control the masses. We are in a society that covers up the reality that we are sexual beings. Taboo is the adult book store, sales of sex toys, the use of brothels and massage parlors, same gender relations, and pornography. But adultery, gay and lesbianism, casual sex, even BDSM are all celebrated in our media. Advertisements are filled with innuendo of casual sex. These ads depict getting the man or woman of your dreams just by using their product. They are very explicit but stop at actual sexual interaction even though the message sent is one of promiscuity. There have been sitcoms with gays as an approved living arrangement, ads depicting gay men as dual parents caring for a child, even a movie where the gay couple tried to hide the fact that the mother figure was male with feminine attributes. If having sex with like gender is something desired then feel free to act upon that desire. Be sure it is consensual and enjoy the encounter. No one should judge your preference negatively as long as it no harm comes to others.
     
    soulpoker likes this.

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