If your number is one but your partner's is not

Does it bother you?

I feel like there's a fundamental difference in my mentality compared to my wife's when it comes to sex. For me it's something absolutely magnificent, I've never felt such pleasure, excitement, the fear that I might be really bad or blow my load early then relief when I don't. She tells me my cum face often looks angry, it's because I'm holding on, trying so hard not to cum and to hit the right spots to make her cum. I've never experienced such vulnerability, such a powerful connection, the intimacy is unparalleled. Then I think she's felt this with ten, twenty, thirty, forty people - I don't think she knows how many. I think there has to be a mental shift that occurs where you stop seeing sex like I do - as a sacred and sacrificial union to be shared with one person only to just a fun thing to do with whomever your partner at the time happens to be and often love and commitment don't come into it.

It also sucks because my wife had way more sex more often in the past. She's done it outside, at work, in her university library. In the morning before school, then cut school to fuck during class and done it as many times as possible in a day, a week, a weekend, a vacation. It was new and exciting and she was learning and discovering what her and her partners bodies were capable of. There are some ways of touching her or positions or sex acts that she's already done and doesn't want to do again and certain things she knows she likes. One time she told me frantically "now put your fingers in me" as if she knew it would be amazing because it's what her ex used to do. I hate that. I want her to be a blank slate discovering with me what works and what doesn't.

 

I just think you need to talk to your partner basically what you stated here .

Suffering in silence will not resolve the situation .

Communication is the most important factor in a relationship and that needs to be built on here I think .