if you had your own country/kingdom/state/republic/planet...

OMG Holly thats genious!!

 

hehe, doesn't it make you wish it was easier to hack into government websites?

 

When I am queen of fucking everything (which I've already told people I am but they won't listen), the first thing I will do is tell a few people to get off my planet, on request I shall have flip flops banned, I shall have the houses of parliament turned into a sports center, and finally trace/dance music shall be banned in my presence.

 

In my planet, it would be one of peace, love and unity. No nation will go against each other. No war will ever strike the frontier of a fellow nation. Each man, woman and child will inherit their own piece of land. They will grow their own crops and share with those who have had a bad harvest. Churches will have no idols, no pictures of Christ. Sunday will be the Sabbath and morals will be taught by use of a whipping rod and a good dose of ethical debate.

In the Cities of my planet, there will be a new law: No abortion. This will be my first law. The second law, anyone who takes the lords name invain will be forgiven once they repent. if they don't, they will be banished to live on Earth. Earth for a man is like a man going through the gates of Hell. No man doesn't shed a tear the moment he awakens into a world of bright lights, fear and immorality. It is like, the moment he slides out, he is faced with a nightmarish 100 year war with life, the laws of Earth and the men who ensure that no man gets food from God for free.

Sorry, but my planet will turn your tears into tears of joy. Who wants to live on my planet?

 

GASP! are you insinuating we have ears?

 

No more exams on my planet!!! *shoves Ruth Kelly off planet*

 

Second that motion Ny. Curse that woman.

 

On my planet all girl/boy bands shall be exiled to the moon. They can sing to each other until they realise how crap they really are and promise never to sing again, at which point I will have mercy on them and allow them back.

 

On my planet it will be a capital offence to be Boris Johnson.

 

I'll second that!

Need a Ruth Kelly-shoving henchman?

 

How would shoving the Secretary of State for Transport off the planet get you out of exams? At best it would probably just cause congestion on the M6. You'd be much better placed shoving Ed Balls off the planet....

 

-Public nudity isnt illegal (and theres no way you can arrest someone for simply not wearing clothes out where there are other people)
-Private cars cannot be owned unless you are a registered business (its a small country i has)
-Amazing public transport system, mostly trains, also bikes you can hire very cheaply dotted about just about everywhere
-All the expected stuff like major tree planting programs and ecohomes built and all the rest of it, with big communal grounds full of fruit and veg you can pick as you choose
-A LOAD more money and help going to poorer countries with famine etc, obviously
KFC, Mcdonalds and Burger King are completely banished from the country, along with any other greasy twisted companies
-Sex offences and crimes against animals and children, along with murder of course, are taken the most seriously...as opposed to property damage and little old ladies not paying the bus fare right all that other tripe. Offenders are not to be chucked in a prison with a load of likeminded people for a short time and then released, wed have proper psychological programs and do real work on them, keeping them away from main society for a long time...not as punishment, but as an attempt to make the person healthy and able to be part of the team again
-People are encouraged to stand up and share their views in a non violent way
-We obviously dont invade other countries
-We dont go on and on and ON about insurance and mortgages and other irrelevant drivel. Infact well ban adverts for such things, because theyre fucking annoying
-Smoking tabacco is banned. Everywhere. Just gone. Phew!
-Also spitting in the street and standing too close to strangers in supermarkets

Ooh, i went all serious

And the way people are would NOT piss all over my plans, you know why? Because it just WOULDNT

 

Oh, they've changed round again?? I remember emailing Alistair Darling about something or other when he was secretary of something else and now he's the chancellor!

 

I want to be called Darling
Y'orite Maxi Darling?

 

Alistair Darling used to be my MP and he used to have a beard. Evidently someone told him, you'll never get on like that you know, look at Frank Dobson. So voila, new model clean-shaven Darling.

So, I would ban ambitious politicians from shaving. And dyeing their hair a la Caroline Flint.

 

On my planet, there will be vast forests of Giant Hogweed. Infact they will be twenty feet high and their umbrellas will be over a metre across. Stinging nettles will twist around the stems and there will be a strong magnetic field.

 

Why?

 

Sal, i wouldnt have asked if i were you:smilielol5:

 

I think I may come to regret it....

 

Least there were no ducks involved