If it was up to you, how would the person that posted before you die?

Found a magic lamp and got three wishes; subsequently wished for a million more wishes and got well and truly smoted by a pissed of genie.

 

choked on cat food

 

dressed up as the gingerbread man for hallowe'en and got eaten by an alligator

 

eaten by sabre toothed penguins

 

racoon attack.

 

oops....I filled your scuba tank with MIG Argon/co2 mix

 

oops.... I mistook you for a fish.

 

oops....I hit your boat

 

Ignored the sign on the vending machine and shook.

 

ear drums popped and brain shook until it bought on a seizure when she fell asleep next to a loudspeaker

 

overdosed on cold medicine

 

While driving was sideswiped by another car causing her to choke on her coffee which led to her losing control of her car crashing into a telephone pole. The telephone pole fell on her car crushing it and charging it with electricity when the live wires lay across the top when she tried to climb out the window she touched the metal and was electrocuted and set on fire which caused the car to become enflamed and explode.

 

It started with a deranged psychopathic father and a misdirected insult which blew way out of hand. She was washing the pots in the kitchen; he was eating his afternoon steak pie; swilling it down with a jug of his homemade brew (ingredients of which we may never know). The sharp edge of a cheese knife was buried beneath the soapy water when she had the misfortune of grabbing it..

'FUCKING BASTARD!!!!' was her reaction as it made it's course through the softened skin of her wet palm, narrowly missing an artery. Perhaps she meant to scream that loud.. either way, it did her no good as father dropped his beverage on the table, spilling all over his pie; covering it in pale liquid and bubbling foam. It is widely debated whether it was the the words she said, or the repurcussions it had on his lunch that led to his following actions...

He lept off the chair and made for the kitchen, getting within grabbing distance in what seemed like 2 footsteps - saw the knife in her hand and took no chances; blatantly flipping out on one of his paranoid schizophrenic trips, thinking only of defence tactics.. that was when he grabbed her hair with one hand and placed his other on the cross section of her spine - and forced her head down into the soapy water with all his energy..

Her face came down and water splashed out - although enough stayed in to do the job. Little did he know that under the murky water lay a cheese grater which shaved the sensitive skin off her lips; and the fork which pierced her eyeball. He held on until she stopped struggling and gargling - not even aware of the water turning a hideous dark red colour, all along screaming in a psychotic pitch 'DON'T WORRY, JOHNNY!! IT WON'T BE LONG NOW!!!'....

The cranberry sauce was very red that day.. some may say even redder than the colour of the blood that gushed from her freshly open wounds.. OH YES - very red was the cranberry sauce...

 

Had a heart attack after trying to outdo me.
Fine! After massively outdoing me.

 

died peacefully in her sleep

 

the person before me is tisha mc ...if the mc is for motorcycle club than im not gonna wish death upon her

 

Awww, thanks!
Ascends.

 

whoops grunge weased in and made my post look stupid

 

that's what i'm here for.

 

died while having too much during his visit to the playboy mansion