If I were your slave

Nah. He just likes my hairy legs.

 

i think it's the big ol' 70's cop mustache that won him over.

 

hahaha. Well sadly enough for him I don't have that any more. Still have a mustache but it's much thinner these days.

 

please tell me you still have the aviators and handcuffs, or the deal is off.

 

Well of course. I have the tazer and pepper spray too. I know how much you liked using those on me

 

what about your massive maglight? have you cleaned it since ganja used it? personally, i'd prefer that you got a totally new one...

 

I don't have a choice. It's still lodged.... well, whereever he lodges large objects like that I guess.

 

ew. definitely have to get a new one then.

 

Don't saw ew. He said the pictures are in the mail.

 

i wonder if black & decker makes a dildo attachment.

 

fantasies are cool, but mine involve the kind of world we all have to live in first. then sex and things like that. how things affect people have a lot to do with the context of expectations in which they occur.

=^^=
.../\...

 

Probably not, but I bet the latest Kirby vaccuums will have one. If you can't do it with a Kirby, it can't be done.

 

well, it already has a "back massager."

 

Yeah I saw that when my brother was selling them. You'd have to have the grand canyon of vaginas to insert the one I saw though.

 

i had a girlfriend who could stick wine glasses up her **** without fear of breaking them....got the pictures to prove it. sorta lost interest after that, though. that's just icky.

besides, it doesn't have to go inside.

 

I thought about that after I said it. Not the wine glass. The not going inside part.

Wine glasses? Wow. The worst things I've seen, on the internet, was a 32 oz coke in a vagina and also a champaigne bottle.

 

Not a chance. But I'd let you win at Madden 2005 whenever you wanted to.

 

2k6 is better, and I don't need you to let me win buddy. I'm the Madden master of the universe.

Even though my cousin beat me yesterday by one point on a last minute, 80 yard drive. Fuckin' bastard.

 

just as long as you give me a weekly reach-around

 

I read the rule book wrong. I am the maid, cook and sex slave.