I wish it was raining.

I just looked at an apartment. Old Andy's moving up in the world. But I'm not getting the apartment. My boss offered me another place.

It's downtown, upstairs, and it's enormous. I'm getting it at a pretty fair price. What's cool about the downtown of my hometown is that it's all really old, and everything was done in an art deco style.

Mistakes have been made, though. For instance, they turned the theater into three theaters. It was originally the Royal Twin, with one really big screen and one medium sized screen. And you could go in there just to look at the ceiling, which I never quite made out, but had reliefs on it. (It was too high to quite make out.) But they decided to modernize it, and though the movies are fun, it's just not the same.

Right now I am lonely and living in a garage. I have nothing to do and don't want to do much of anything in here. I hope when I'm in a big open space I go crazy from being pent up in these tiny spaces for so long.

I'm on my meds, though, which is a travesty. I go crazy when I'm off them, yes, but I also have the most wonderful insights. I was experimenting with light and color, and I had a purpose. But now I have no purpose.

It's amazing what you can do with just the tiniest sliver of light. If you use the right colors, you can use it to illuminate an entire room. I just want to go crazy again. Listen to voices. I can't explain it, but I honestly am psychic when I'm not on my meds, and by now, if I hadn't damaged so much property, I could have revolutionized the world. All I can do is wait for circumstances to change or hope that my medicine stops working.

I don't even know if it's the right thing to do, and that always held me back. Sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing. People complain about their lives. I believe I could literally change everything. But I don't know...I don't know if that kind of change is a good thing, or if it makes me the devil.

I do have the ability, when I'm not on these medications, to remotely influence people's minds. I can make them cry through the sheer hope that I give them. I can make them laugh. If I wanted to, I could make it plainly obvious that something unsettling was going on. In a crowded room. Before the eyes of the world.

But I can't, because I'm on these stinking meds. I can't fulfill my true potential, because people are concerned about me. Because people care about me.

I was going to start wearing face paint every day. When I'm not on my meds, I'm crazy enough to do that. I was twirling around in circles and had become British. I was a danger to myself and others. But I was also happy.

There are injustices in this world that have never come to light. They happen every day, to children all over the world. And the children grow old, like me (I'm 38,) and become witches and ghouls. There is no world for the children of this world. Childhood is something to grow out of. It's not something to embrace forever. If there were room for it, that would be one thing, but there isn't even any room for it anymore.

I don't know exactly what I'm getting at, except a little rain would be a welcome distraction. Without my insanity, I may as well be dead already. Sorry, just had to rant a little. Maybe someone can provide some insight. I hate being lectured, though.

 

^^^...Sounds Like A Good Move To Me.......I Hope It All Works Out For You......



Cheers Glen.

 

I have no insight but I really like this paragraph, it's beautifully written.

I wish it would rain too

 

I wrote it due to a vision I had in the depths of psychosis.

It doesn't matter if you live in reality or not. It's what you learn. And I learn so much more from insanity that I ever will from this upstanding life.

 

They tried to put me on meds.
I may be a significantly more unstable person without them

I'm not sure...

I know that I'm not a happy person
Even when satisfied

And I still do all the other drugs I can get my hands on


But I'm sure as shit not on their meds....

 

A little rain you say? You'd love our forecast.

FLOOD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT THROUGH FRIDAY MORNING...

The Flood Watch continues for * A portion of eastern Massachusetts, including the following areas, Norfolk and Suffolk. * Through Friday morning *

A long duration heavy rainfall event will impact southeast MA northward to Boston through Friday with lighter rains still falling Friday night into Saturday morning.
Storm total rainfall of 3 to 6 inches is expected through Friday night.

 

I'm reporting you for posting Phil Collins in my thread.

 

haha..

 

Wish it was snowing.

 

I like your mind a lot. I like reading your posts.
My big bro would never stay on his meds for long.. But I could never really understand why.
I think he felt much as you do. But he was always thinking he was causing bad things to happen.

 

Oh Andy Pandy, I think a move will be great for you.
I read all your post, I don't usually read long posts, but it gave me more insight into the real you.
As for rain, I feel we in the UK get too much.
I am happy to share it.

 

i like stormy weather, because people seldom go out in it just to be unpleasant to each other.
i also like the magic way snow makes the world look, at least if you're not in a city where it gets messed up almost immediately.

rain, well, i like watching hydrology at work, but i don't really like getting wet or mud on my shoes.
probably the only thing good about cities having pavement everywhere.
and getting wet, flip up the hood or wear a hat. as long as you don't get splashed by a car going by.

rainbows and gardens are worth the rain too, even if rain and snow weren't more fun to watch then almost anything on tv.

 

Today? Fucking hate it! Been dry all morning, get the washing out and here we go, fucking pissing down!
Then again I have lived in countries where rain is a reason to party, or thank the gods or just be out in a vest and shorts and paddle bare foot down the road!

 

where i live is semi-desert. but its also city, so most people don't even notice.

 

congrats on the new dwelling.

 

Got the call to go get my shot today, so I went and did it. It's been raining all day long, and it's cold and nasty outside. I'm gonna turn the heater on in here for the first time.

Iowa went from the 80's to the 40's overnight. I hope things don't stay quite so cold, so we can at least have a little autumn fun.

Thanks, underwear. Unfortunately I have to wait until the end of November for the current tenant to move out. Sometimes I wonder if I can stand being cooped up in here anymore. I haven't had a window in a long time. Soon no only will I be able to hear the weather outside, but see it, too! Wow!

 

I particularly enjoyed the paragraph that Mel also quoted. Surreal and raw.

I hope you enjoy the new place-a window can make a lot of difference, I think. Keeps you grounded in the real world.