I wanted this girl until I had her

I had a real crush on this girl, it went from straight lust to a crush and back and forth while we played this cat and mouse game of seduction until one night I finally had her, and since then while not officially stating so, we've pretty much been "dating". Except now, I feel like my fondness for her both emotionally and now somewhat sexually has been decreasing.
I feel like Ive done this in the past with ex's and platonic friendships, like maybe once people grow attached me I become more despondent, distant and perhaps resentful of their affection.
But with girls especially, I feel like I guess theirs more a hunters aspect of it, like maybe I just see a girl I want, I go after her, and I get her and then I am done. And ive been doing that with women for a while now, not saying thats the right thing to do but its almost become my nature, after a few serious relationships ended in the past I guess ive become more jaded and more of a player. Usually however, I go after the kinda girls that you dont want to/have to stick around, this girl I actually did get pretty personal with, and she is the first girl in a long time that I didnt want to immediately kick out of my bed after. I think I feel the same way during the end of my last relationship, in that Im starting to feel claustrophobic, like im stuck, and being held back from complete freedom.
But I digress, basically im wondering if anyone else has haver felt that way, and hopefully someone here might have some advice for me, because quite honestly, im at the point where im almost willing to live a life of complete solitude, than break anymore hearts.

Cheers.

 

It's not unheard of, it's been shown that men differ in the brain in how they react when it comes to emotional bonding and attraction.

Some men are able to feel long term connections emotionally to one women or just a few, while other men actually only seem to be able to have short-term emotional bonds to women, and then the bond wears off and it's theorized these types of guys end up being the "player" types in observable human behavior.

It sounds like you are in the latter camp. See a therapist?

 

There are plenty of men and women like you. Many of us like to hunt. I think it is in our genes.

I'd try not to feel too guilty about it, but next time you're hunting, remind yourself not to cause any harm in the process, like not making promises you won't keep.

When I hunt just for sex, I make it clear to the guy we'll just fuck once, or a couple of times, and I'll be done with him. I don't feel bad about it, because he was informed and he's free not to play, if he decides it isn't his thing.

You talk about breaking hearts and that makes me think you're taking your game too far. Don't go so far as to get to the level a woman would think you want more than to fuck her. If you can't experience any empathy for what women feel, think of the guy who'll come after you: she'll take revenge on the rest of mankind. Women can be very revengeful. Just like men.

 

Sounds like a personal problem.

 

thats a nice thing to say graciek

 

Sounds like the classic womens nightmare. Mostly.

 

Im the same way.
Its quite a bitch really and it makes me not even want to date girls who i know ide have great relationships with because it would ruin our great friendship

 

You're just trying to avoid getting your own heart broken. Sorry.

 

I hope your heart is broken soon, for your own good, so you know how it feels. May it come to pass.

 

Because you were victorious, and now onto the next victory....LOL

You like the chase.

 

Karmas a bitch. And she will hunt you down. Atone mang

 

LOL, Gongshaman....

Do u believe in the karma thing? Seems I am the only one who is ever getting hurt. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!....so whatever I did that bad must have been in a past life....and I sure as hell don't remember what I did then.

 

Karma doesn't exist, at least not in the way popular culture has adopted.

 

Maybe you're something that's afraid to get attached to a girl.

 

the thrill of the chase is a big turn on, however hearts do get broken, so never promise and be honest and just remember a woman may do the same to you one day

 

If you're chasing women that you feel like "kicking out of bed" afterwards, of course, your relationships aren't going to last. Sounds like you just want to fuck right now so stop pretending you want more. If you're leading women on that there might be more, you're just another asshole lying to get laid and you know it. Yes, relationships mean less freedom. But when you find the right girl, it can be worth it for most men. Someone you can spend all your time with because of her personality. Doesn't sound like you filter women on personality at all though until after you've BS'd them into bed.

 

It sounds to me like you need to accept the fact that you are not ready for monogamy. If all you want to to chase after girls for causal sex, then do it. But be honest about it, even if that means she says no.

That's that mature, emotionally sensitive, grown-ups do when they have sexual feelings towards other people.

When you are ready for the real thing, you will know. All of those hookups will start to feel claustrophobic and empty- the same way you feel now leading other people around.

This is nothing new.... just common and to be honest- quite sad... Just try talking about your emotions before you let immaturity and lust cloud your judgement.

Even if that means she says she doesn't want to have sex with you.

 

Just remember that you are earning a reputation for yourself. If you use and dump women, IF the "right one" comes along, she might not want anything to do with you because you might treat her the same way. Or perhaps she wouldn't respect you. It's one thing to have relationships and have sex, it's another to just have sex with any girl who is interested.

Consider the possibility of STDs and Pregnancy. Hope you are careful. For yourself and your partners.

 

I don't know how old you are but I am guessing you are young. That is fairly normal, i am 24 and have been in 2 relationships, on both of those after a year and a half the "love" wore off for me. It happens when you are young you are still maturing and forming who you are as a person and as you change sometimes you grow apart. You probably don't know what you want yet. And some men just like to chase women, you probably fall into that category. However, just make sure to lay the cards right before you sleep with a woman, so that if she is the type to get attached after sex, she has the option to walk away and not get her feelings hurt, that is of course if you are enough of a nice guy to let off your prey..... but don't hurt people because trust me karma exists and its going to bite you in the butt some day.. there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

hmm. I think it best to be up front with the girls from the start. don't lead them on thinking they're getting a relationship. There's nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults having a noncommited physical encounter but know that most women may not be like you and will be very hurt of you shag them then show them the door. It is a terrible thing to do that to unsuspecting women. Just make sure they know its just physical before the sex. Find women that have the same goal as you, that just want a bit of fun but nothing serious.
Women are not conquests, men are not hunters and women are not prey- its pretty disgusting to speak of women in that fashion. Just be honest with this girl and say you thought you knew your feelings but didnt, and now you dont want to take it further. She will probably still be annoyed (I would anyway) but its the right thing to do so that you both can go on to find what you want.