ok, so i havent been on the hipforums for quite a few months now but, i really dont who else to talk to this about. I’m 20 soon to be 21, my maternal instincts are kicking in fast. I’ve been with my BF for nearly 4 years, he is 28. I’ve never really had any aspirations job wise, yeah I really like being a piercer, I enjoy it & it’s a bonus this I have a job I enjoy. My BF has a really good job, he’s been a glazier since he was 16 & been a fitter of PVC windows doors & conservatories for 5 years. He’s self-employed & earns really good money. My sisters boss who I do a few hours for during the week has said many a time to me that he can tell that I’ve never really had any desire to work & can see me at home being a house wife. Me & my BF has discussed kids many a time over in our 4 year relationship & I’ve always said I wanted to live my life first, I wana go out & have a good time, travel, & get my life over with before I start thinking about having kids & getting tied down. My BF has always said he wanted to wait but never been sure when he wanted to wait until. Just lately I’ve been thinking about kids more & more, I’ve been chatting to one of my friends, she has 3 kids all under 6y/o, she is 25. She can see me being a really good mum & really enjoying it. I stopped at her house Saturday so she could go out, she stopped over at a friends. Her eldest girl is 6, she has a girl at 3 & a boy at 18 months. I went to bed bout 3.30am but couldn’t sleep & the kids were up at 5.30am, they sent me a little crazy banging about & getting everything out in there bedrooms & by this time I was really tired but I loved every minute of it. I’ve tried to talk to my BF about kids but the only response I get is wait until we are ready which I think he is really saying is no, I’m not ready. I don’t think he’ll ever be ready to have kids, he would make a fantastic dad but I think he is too interested in having a laugh with the lads & drinking, where as I’ve never really been into going out to pubs & clubs & drinking. I’ve always said that when I have kids I wouldn’t work, I want to give them the best start in life which means staying at home with them until they go to school, I want to spend the time & energy, playing & teaching them, not palming them off to a child minder while I go to work. I don’t think a blokes life changes much when they have kids, yeah they have responsibilities & have to be a dad & bring the money in, but they still go out to work, still go out to the pub, drink & socialise with there mates. He’d have more of a free life than I would. I don’t think having kids stops you doing all you want to do either, its not as if I have that big of a social life in terms of going to town & clubbing, I probably go out bout once every month once every two months & I’d still be able to do that. Ok so I’d have to stop doing the drugs but that’s no problem, I’ve been getting a bit sick of them for a while anyway, I haven’t smoked any weed since new year & I’ve really not been bothered at all. Its not as if being around someones kids has made me all broody either, my elder sisters both have kids, I’ve been involved with them since I was 10y/o, I’ve looked after them enough times, karen has two boys aged 7 & 10, & jo has a little girl aged 2. I’m not the type of person to get pregnant behind my BFs back, I find that very unfair, but I don’t use contraceptives, I’ve tried them all. Been on every type of pill, done the coil, the injection, the implant the lot, they make me very violent & the doctors have told me I’ve not to use any contraceptives apart from things like condoms, femidom, spermicide, caps etc, my BF is scared of sprimicides, he had an elergic reaction to a product in one that made his penis swell & i dont like the cap thing, i couldnt even get a tampon out of my vigina on my own when the string went up so i doubt i'd beable to cope with that. if did get pregnant it would be both our fault on this one. I know at this age you body is physically ready & girls get broody & yearn for babies & I’ve felt like that many a time but my head would normally over rule & say no, but I now feel physically ready & mentally ready. Should make my BF discuss this with me more, am I being selfish, is he? I just feel very upset that he won’t even think it through. Someone please give me some advice on this matter. i feel really upset that he wont talk with me about it, i feel he is being inconsiderate to my feelings by not talking, he is just putting the matter to the back of his head & giving me a one worded answer, NO!