I want sex [F32] more than he does, says he has a low sex drive but watches porn

Maybe you should watch some Porn (that appeals to you) - and let him catch you, the reaction may point to the way forward for you. (?)

 

I had the same issue with my ex. Turns out he watches that hentai shit, which is basically legal kiddie porn because it's a cartoon. I guess I wasn't childlike enough for him. He couldn't keep it up for anything and I know it isn't me. I'm sorry to be blunt but if he is watching porn often and says he has a low sex drive, he's lying. He should not need more from you to get in the mood when you're a living breathing woman and his porn is just people on a screen. I don't have a problem with watching porn but not over real sex!

I don't have sex every day with my gf but at least when we do it's satisfying. I get off every time and I don't have to worry about hurrying to the finish, which was a struggle every time with him. He never got me off once and I always had to do it myself.

 

is he watching gay porn cause that would explain a lot.

Explain to him that there is adifference between having a low sex drive and erectile dysfuntion issues, the fact that he does watch porn and masturbates means he probably doesn't have a low sex drive and that he may just be lieing not just to you but also to him self.

I'd suggest trying to watch porn with him and then get it on, and if he has a problem with that, then it's time for you and him to have a serious talk.

 

I think you should divest yourself from this clown immediately. Face it, girl....you are never going to match his porn addiction. If he ain't wearing a diaper, you can't change him. The only thing you can change is your response to him. A lack of sex is one thing I simply refuse to tolerate in any relationship. Nobody ever got married or shacked up together to practice celibacy. People like this will not change until they feel they have sufficient reason to, and nothing we do can change that.

Get rid of him and all of his things. Then go no-contact with him.

 

Hi, There are two words you can say to him, Bye Bye and move on, there are guys out there gaging for it wanting someone to love, so its Bye Bye and move on.

 

My new honey was soooo vanilla when we first got together. He had never had sex in the shower or had a BJ... and over the years (together now since 2011) I sent him videos of different things and one time I sent him videos of some anal videos (that REALLY excited him, but he was so scared to ask me) I finally figured out he was trying to ask me something, so I told him he could tell me what was on his mind and I promise I would never be mad at him (as long as it didn't require me to share him with another woman, I do not think I could share him)

It turned out that wanted to try the anal position while spooning (that night was so beautiful)

So maybe try to watch what is exciting him, and maybe try a handjob while he is watching... and if he does have some ED problem he probably is VERY subconscious about it which ends up turning into a viscous circle.... maybe try giving him a cock and testicle massage while he is watching the videos ♡♡♡

 

Remove his internet connection or at least remove something...

 

I would move on.
Porn is a great tool and can be great fun but when it's having a detrimental effect on your sex life and relationship, then you've got a problem.
Not so long ago, I listened to The Butterfly effect podcast, it was really interesting. In one part they were on set during a porn shoot, the Male porn stars were watching porn on their phones to gain an erection despite there being a real life porn star right there in front of them to have sex with.
Definite porn overuse. It should never replace or be better than the real thing.
You're young. Don't waste anymore time on this relationship. He's obviously unwilling to accept any responsibility.

 

Oops , you seem to have a problem there , no worries .....every thing has some solution , if not fool proof still effective.

You need more sex and your bf can't keep up to it , hmmm......get him a strap on , select the size you desire , in that way he need not worry of erection and you can have your pleasure .

Get yourself couple of good sex toys , keep yourself satisfied.
Definitely other alternatives are there ..... depends how much you love your bf .....by the way ....what love has to do with sex????

 

OP, time to move on and find a better suited and more normal partner with a decent libido.
Porn is addictive especially with such long exposure as your current guy has been subjecting himself.
Reality sex is just that and involves all the senses but porn is a minset thing and more often than not stretching anything resembling or possible in reality.
He can no longer differentiate; so girl don't waste you time anymore.

 

Reach out for help....there are places you can go to for help..........swallow your pride and ask for help!.....Good luck!

 

Give him a choice he either gives up porn or you give him up, he cant have both, masturbating to porn is a bad sign that he loves porn more than you, great as men we all love porn along with some women, but a lot of us never masturbate to porn its a way of getting horny and ready for sex even if its a few hours earlier, we hold the thoughts in our minds and the women love this, for men its like a battery that slowly leaks its power out.

If he wont give up give him up your find better.

 

I hear quite a few voices shouting "leave him!" and I understand why some people would think that but I would say take a deep breath, take a step back and collect your thoughts. You have to give him a chance. Speak with him as soon as you both have a quiet time with no distractions and speak openly. You shouldn't throw away a 1.5yr relationship on a knee jerk reaction as much as it frustrates you.

You said he had problems from the start maintaining an erection. Perhaps he has an issue staying hard and is embarrassed about it? Maybe he is ashamed of it and is causing him anxiety? Anxiety is the number one killer in turning someone off. My humble opinion is that it probably stemmed from his porn addiction. More than likely he was a frequent porn watcher and when he got into a relationship with you, he got worried about it not feeling the same, him not being able to climax as quickly, the added pressure of having to pleasure you and make sure you're satisfied.

With porn, he has none of those anxieties. He can indulge in any fantasy he likes, he can cum as long or as short time as he likes, he doesnt need to worry about pleasing someone or being embarrassed about not being able to get it up etc etc... He needs to ween himself out of the comfort zone of porn and start fixing the problem.

This situation is not healthy. For either of you. You may find that talking about it, you can get to the root cause and start to work on those problems. This may make him less worried about things in his head and may make sex less of a scary thing for him. You will also get more sex and feel closer to him and see that your needs are serviced.

If this doesn't help after talking because either of you are unwilling to change or can't change then you will have to start thinking of moving on....

 

Low sex drive is one thing, but why when he gets the urge does he masturbate instead of having sex with this partner? Sounds strange to me. When it comes to sex people can change and make an effort for a while but sooner or later everyone reverts back to their normal. So either prepare for a life of drought or look for someone more compatible, you can thank me when your 60 having sex 4 times a week!

 

I think OP has long since disappeared. But in case anyone is dropping by, it’s possible her partner has/had Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Yes, it’s a thing. Porn is known to be more addictive than cocaine and it’s destroying lives, particularly (but not exclusively) young men.

Please have a look at the free resources here:
Your Brain On Porn

 

I know I'm very late to this but my ex was like this too. He claimed he didn't want to have sex, but would always watch porn rather than have sex with me, so I relate with the original poster. Time to see other men out there. Men who appreciate you. Don't settle for less, you deserve more.

 

Note - OP arrived here over a year ago, made only one posting on this site, and left two days later, never to log-in again.

Comment if you will, but it's a moot subject, open to debate and discussion, but with no practical effect. The OP is long gone, and it's really too situation- and couple-specific to have broad and general applicability to others who are in sexless or near-sexless relationships. If you want to share your insight or advice, it would be best to find a thread, and there are many on couples with mismatched libidos, for which the OP is still around or for which the premise/question has broader applicability.

In broadest terms, men are visually-oriented creatures and like porn. Eighty percent of all the porn that is paid for is consumed by men. Porn is produced for masturbatory purposes. Why would a guy choose porn and masturbation over a partner? Whether a man is partnered or not, the main attraction of porn is that it never says "no." That's always been the case. For a man, masturbation to porn requires very little time and effort, and there's a certainty that he'll be pleased by the result - happy ending guaranteed.

 

I'm horny as hell at times but have never watch porn plus my wife would probably kick my ass....she hates it.

 

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