Hi, I'm new to all of this. Well my ex girl friend left me almost two months ago. Now, we needed in bad terms but we managed to talk about it days later. I begged and plead for her to take me back. Which pushed her further away. I was self centered and I didn't pay attention to what she wanted (space, time etc). She said that she lost feelings for me and there was no hope of us getting back. A day later she tells me that the only reason why she told me about her lost feelings was because she felt like I was pushing her to give her an answer. She stated that she wanted her feelings towards me to come back on their own. We were almost together for 3 years. I was closeted the first 6 months, after that every one knew but I wouldn't hold her hand in public. I'm very self conscious of myself and afraid of being judged by how I look so now having a GF made my anxiety of being judged worse. Well, the first year was great. I knkw realized that I lost myself.in the relationship my depression and anxiety made my fears let the relationship break. After the break up I immediately sought out counseling and began exercising to release some anxiety. We had both agreed after the break up that we needed to work on ourselves. So far I have and she's barely starting to. She said she didn't leave me for someone else but has hooked up w a much younger and attractive girl (I'm 26, ex 23). I'm giving her space. I'm keeping low contact. She's gone away for 3 months for training. I want her back. I know it's late that I realize what I've lost But I want to fight for her. I would for opinions on this matter.
It sort of sounds like you were very serious about the relationship and she lost interest..now you're trying to hold on... you didn't give too much detail about the relationship so I'm not sure if it was an unhealthy relationship or not... some people run when it seems things are getting too serious... maybe you got too close to her and she panicked and got out... I'd give her space and maybe she will come around, but most likely not.. maybe you're just lonely though... take a break and then when you're ready, start dating again... maybe she'll come around, but you gotta live your life until then and not dwell on her because it's only going to depress you
welcome to hipforums.....the lineup of dudes pining for their ex-girlfriends who are already with a different dude forms on the left.....it is a long and lonely line.....I advise against getting in that line
Thanks for replying. Our relationship was great but we both had some personal issues. I was suffering from depression and anxiety (still am) although she tried to help I just pulled away. I didn't think I needed help and how was she able to help if she was going through her own dilemmas. She was in it for the long haul. Her energy was drained on me trying to get back the old me. She got fed up after a fight and she left. I immediately realized what I've done and started seeking out professional help. The first month I did push her away by begging. Its almost been two months and I know that I've been giving her that breathing room she needs from me. We've been staying in low contact. She called me yesterday and I didn't bring up our relationship. Mainly, I let her talk all about her weekend and how she's doing in her trainibg. She said she will be calling again soon. I feel like she's opening up Again. She knows I still love her and Care for her. I now I've come a long ways. I'm changing into someone who I didn't know I could be (positive and optimistic). I'm fighting for me and I'm fighting for her. I hope she takes all my hard work into consideration.
for some reason, I was thinking this was a lesbian relationship... but I also read this post while having some vodka last night lol..... well, to OP, make sure you hold your next gf's hand, k... if you don't, it'll probably make her feel as if you're embarassed to be seen with her, not good
You've given all your personal power away by begging. It's hard to regain and I don't mean power OVER someone, but the power to learn enough about yourself to never again see a relationship --any relationship --as so important to your own happiness and well being that you have to prostrate yourself before someone(mentally) and give control away-which usually ends up very-very one sided. I believe she may be done with you. Even if she comes back to you-the relationship will be one of adult-child. What Rainy said in post three.-------
Yes it's a lesbian relationship. I've stopped all the pleading and begging. I didn't wanna lose my self respect and look like a complete fool in front of her. She's opening up when it comes to phone calls and I'm not pressuring her anymore. I'm letting things flow. She said in the beginning that she wants her feelings for me to come back on their own. Can they? If she sees a great deal of change, personal growth and how I'm fighting to become a better me, can this get her back to me. Or open up feelings She once had?
I'm not as desperate as I was anymore. I've come a long ways. But I do appreciate opinions and thoughts about my situation.
Mmm hmmm, blame depression and anxiety, things external when you were too embarrassed to be seen with her. Sounds like you just want a relationship, no matter what, maybe not even into girls
That's not how I read her post.. I think she actually has feelings for her but yes, anxiety can do that to you.. I remember I was nervous about holding hands.. but this was when I was in middle school and high school.. I had to work on getting over that... I have anxiety through the roof.. and because this is a lesbian relationship, she's probably scared of being judged about that in public
in any relationship....if someone asks for space....give that to them, or else they will resent you for not listening and feel crowded....
You know, I think when someone asks for space--a relationship is basically over. It's an easy way to start backing out of a relationship.
Any more discussion needs to be in a new thread in the Relationships area.. This space is for Introductions.
Yeah no problem. I'm new to a forum group so I didn't know how to go about things. Thanks to all the replies. If y'all need any info message me. I'm open to opinions. Thanks again.
