I Truly Hate People.

I have known many people who have claimed to feel the same way in an attempt to appear more interesting, intellectual and aloof to others. In general it is the mark of an incredibly boring person.

Affording the benefit of the doubt and allowing that these feelings are genuine and not an affectation, then....fair enough. I hope you can find plenty of things in your life to make it worth living without the need for companionship. It isn't unusual for people to treasure isolation. I love my friends, but I spend a lot of my time carving out windows of solitude from my timetable, alone time is really vital.

Farbeit for me to tell you how to live your life, but it is possible that these feelings are linked to depression, or that you are allowing certain past incidents featuring certain individuals to colour your perception of the whole. These may be worth considering. However, if you hate people and are still happy then good for you, you should live life how you see fit and if that means living it alone then that's as valid a lifestyle as any. It's not for me, but it takes all sorts to make a world.

 

But I've always tried to do the "right thing".Being generous with my time, enthusiasm, money, good will etc. Even risking my life and shit. I won't go down to other people's levels.
What I mean is, I am worn out. I don't see the point in deluding myself that I won't ever be treated in a way that I think is wrong. I won't delude myself that people are so good, and pure - when I am connected with them. Does that make sense.

Hate here means that I think its pointless to delude myself about people. My best relationships and friendships are based around mutual honour, doing the right thing and shared views or whatever. I don't kid myself that they won't ever betray me/treat me like a piece of shit or whatever.

Its not about competition, I semi agree. Infact its not even necessarily about love. Its about KNOWING that people you believe/d in won't do the right thing. Infact they might do a very UN-right thing.

Hitler was "fascinating". Wouldn't want to go out for a beer with him tho. Its not about male or female to me. Maybe females are sneakier and males have a "power arrogance".
And as a kid I met lots of truly hideous people.

 

What we hate in others is often what exist in ourselves or what we fear. You hate, good. Find its roots.

I use to hate people back in high school. I had no friends and i was alone and vulnerable. Fear and insecurity lead me to hate. I still have no friends but i no longer hate. Now i feel indifferent towards people. I don't care enough to have much of an opinion about them. I focus on my own life and doing things that bring me joy.

 

People avoid the word because they are afraid of it and deny its relevance. I think the basis for everything has to be truth.
Maybe your definition of hate is different to mine.

Yes I do see good will in your online persona. But I know human nature and how people also have a bad side.

As I mentioned, I've traditionally been more "the life and soul of the party" type. Always having a laugh, entertaining friends and stuff. I promise you, I'm not some ungainly "e-geek" or Asbergers nightmare : )

The point is, in the past I've said "wow this is such a wonderful, kind, good person, I am sure they will never EVER treat me badly. A diamond in the rough. Really restoring my faith in human nature, right?"
WRONG!!!! I was fooling myself.

Now I can manage to smile in the street, make chitchat, return my friends calls. But can have that inner trust, the inner smile, inner goodwill or whatever it should be called?
No, I feel its been drained away. Like a battery that recharged but is now dry and dead.

No I don't mean hate in relation to smartness or whatever.

I think people have misunderstood. I'm not like some guy who lives deep in the forest and wants to axe murder everyone. People would describe me as friendly, kind, affable, thoughtful, very loyal and always wanting to have a laugh. I don't avoid social interaction at all. I have my friends and dates. But I don't kid myself there's any love, deep seated sincerity from people. People do bad things, disloyal things. I accept that, others try and hide away from the fact.

Well obviously today you can detect a (how shall we say) "flatness" in my view. TBH its all part of some recent developments, which I knew had been the situation for some time. Today sort of made me flip. Its not depression. Its simply the logical deduction that I won't find the levels of loyalty in people that I tthink I show to them myself. So thats why I say I hate people. Because I know, in terms of probability that the chances of being stiffed by someone I trust are far higher than I'd like. In recent years, I trimmed my friends list to what I thought were "dependable" ones. Maybe that list needs more substantial trimming.

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Anyway, I'm very saddened at how someone has treated me. But I'm also angry for the way they have treated themselves. I thought about sending them an expletive filled email.
On the other hand I wonder if I should just ignore them. One aspect is that the whole damned thing COULD have been resolved if they had been open and communicative. I don't like being treated like a prick either. Maybe tomorrow I'll just wake up angry. Today I just felt just flat/numb, even tho I'd seen most of the situation for a while.

Either way, I have no faith whatsoever in the underlying good will of people for the future. Today simply reaffirmed all that.

I feel like I've got a really horrible taste in my mouth. And I haven't been to my mother's house for dinner, in weeks!

So I'm scratching my head now as to what to do...

 

I can understand the feeling of hating people, as I sometimes feel that way myself.

I think what happens is that if you try to be good to people, and you get a lot of shit in return, the experience can be emotionally overwhelming, and you are compelled to see people negatively even if on some level you know it's not true, simply because our brains have a hard time experiencing an intense emotion like anger while at the same time making balanced distinctions.

Sometimes when I encounter a total asshole, I'll think to myself, "I fucking hate people", even though it's not what I really believe, I just need to feel that way in that moment.

I love the good and the innocent. I don't even want the assholes to get worse than they deserve, or worse than they really need in order to learn their lesson.

I think true assholes are a pretty small minority, not more than 20%. Shitty behavior can be contagious and poisonous though, it makes people withdraw, or feel like if others are going to be assholes, there is no incentive not to sink to the same level. There's also the problem that assholes have a tendency to gather power for themselves, and if they end up in positions of power they end up fucking things up massively for everyone.

I think the media today is dumping massive quantities of the psychological equivalent of toxic waste, and it's a big source of both the perception of negativity, and a cause of negative behavior itself.

Also, in at lease some cases, people act negatively based on a misperception of others, or you may misperceive others as behaving negatively.

 

You just keep living, one day at a time, like everyone else who has ever been deeply hurt and disappointed with someone. Healing takes time. Trust doesn't return overnight. You've lost something that was worth something to you, and there is a grieving process to go through.

 

so again, who hurt you?

Have you thought about telling whoever hurt you directly? Maybe they do not realize they hurt you.....

I can hate what people say and do sometimes, but that does not mean I hate them......Sure, I get hurt and angry, too, at times...who doesn't?..........feeling like I got the short end of the stick and was terribly misundestood......but unless I communcate that verbally to the person, it will never be resolved in any way.....I can tell a hundred people...but that will not help, at all....as the 100 people are not them.

 

TBH I really do hate people now, just a specific type of hate. As mention to Karen down below.

Thankyou for your comments Karen. To me, the "regaining trust" idea is like being told "plug in the battery again". My view is, "stop wasting the energy like that, the circuit will blow again. Use the energy differently from now on". If its a snake that stiffs me, well no surprise. But if my grievance is with someone I genuinely had faith in, then that tells me that my assessment of human nature was wrong. You may think thats cynical, but it would make more sense if you heard the background.

Two things really stand out to me. First that the situation could have been prevented. Indeed maybe it can be resolved. But I'm very weary now.
I do have a fair amount of anger, not about me being "wronged" but about the way I feel they treated themselves. On one hand I want to say "have you actually sat down and thought this out?" On the other, well I still haven't decided what I'm going to say, if indeed anything.

Sorry but this grieving thing doesn't fit with me. But thankyou for your suggestions. The old person died a while back. The new one killed them, metaphorically speaking.

 

Well on one hand, I don't want to speak to them right now. On the other, they may well get to hear anyway, somehow some way.

Its probably academic because its the sort of thing which would cause a little "heat" so to speak.

I don't hate "them", I hate "people". Sorry, its hard to explain, do you follow?

Sometimes people just hide away, you can't communicate even if you want to.
They've asked for my feelings on the matter. That in its own right makes me raise my brow a little.
I'm just sitting on it for now. What I'll do after that, I don't know yet.

 

it might help if you explained what happened

 

Why does someone asking you about your feelings about something make you raise your brow a little?

Perhaps, people do not want to assume or think they know how you feel 100% about anything without hearing it for themselves.....from you.....That would be just a matter of assumption....even though, it may be a good assumption.

I would want someone to ask me if they wanted to be 100- percent sure about anything...even though, I sometimes think they should just know, too.

 

Because they can work out the fact I wouldn't be overly delighted. Infact they could have told me a lot earlier - even if I'd previously deduced/suspected aspects of it all.
It was her communication that was pisspoor, not mine. As she basically admits.

The issue for me now is whether I want to reply or try to resolve any aspect of it.

 

we can't really tell if you don't explain, but maybe it's the sort of thing that you will be able to work out eventually

 

I'm just worn out for today TBH. My feelings remain that its pointless to have this blind/bullshit/delusional faith that some people call "trust". Thats why I say I hate people. Tomorrow my feeling with prob be stronger again.

Maybe I'll explain the background tomorrow.

 

Well, good luck to you with whatever you are going through...

I had a friend visiting and she was convinced a guy she likes was doing and acting a certain way that was putting her into to tears...someone on facebook that she has never even met yet, and I was just telling her the same things.....about assuming...I told her there could be all kinds of things going on that she did not even think of............as how does one really know until they really know anyway.....

but good luck to you....I hope everything works out for you, as i hope for her, as well.

 

Well, it's within your right to hate all people, and I'm not here to scold you, or change you.

As for me, when it comes to people they don't like me, some even hate me. Mainly it's because of my looks. People don't like anything that is different. But, I guess my personally can also be to some people's disliking. In saying that, I have no friends, or lovers. I'm as alone as it gets. But, my opinion of people as a whole is generally positive. I like people, even if they don't like me. I try to understand and respect people as best as I can. Accommodate them as best as I can. Sometimes I fail, because I tend to freak out when someone is freaking out on me. I guess I don't handle crisis well. But, I try very hard because I enjoy people, and find them beautiful.

 

You are beautiful.

 

Nope. That's not how life works.

 

Haha xD

Don't you wish it did though

 

It is what it is. I don't make the rules. I just follow them.