I Told Him I Wamt To Go Down On Him

We're both married. We work together in the same firm spending a lot of time with each other. Despite not wanting to cheat on my husband nor he on his wife, we started flirting and talking a lot. The chemistry and attraction are obviously there and it got worse and worse. Until we started saying it openly, how we're both attracted to each other... Nothing has happened between us but he's asked me on several occasions to be more upfront and aggressive with him... saying I should just 'go out and get him'... He's also jokingly proposed we rent a hotel room to spend a couple of hours together... Which I havent done as I'ld like to get to know him a little more gradually. I've recently told him that I'ld like to be kissed first and made him understand that I really want to go down on him... This suprised him and he basically backed out... Was I too explicit? Did I scare him? Should I try to clarify what I meant? I would never have said something so direct if he hadnt asked me to be more direct! Please advise on what to do now... i truly care about him...

 

it sounds like he was trying to be a big man,but when it come down to real action he ran off scared,talking sexy is easy,

 

Try flirting and talking to your husband like that... You said you didn't WANT to cheat on him... I think this guy did you a favor... Stop the work flirtation and spend that energy on your husband instead.

 

divorce?

 

I am having the same issue. Though my problem is I just have no sexual attraction to my long time boyfriend. But I guess we need to try to get into it.

 

I think you should drop this whole thing and/or tell your husband about it. I mean, seriously. Is it worth hurting the one to whom you're married? And this guy's also got someone he's possibly hurting. I'm surprised at how easily people forget the promises they make and the consequences of breaking them.
If you want to see other people, tell your husband. Period. I don't care how you feel about it. If you promised to be in a committed relationship, then breaking that commitment is not only very shitty but also immoral. If you want to see someone else alongside him and he says no, then you can either accept that and honor that or leave him and not allow him to control that part of your life. You have to decide for yourself whether your affair is worth losing your husband and vice versa.

To be honest, I really hate all this cheating stuff. When someone expects honesty and you reward them with lies, it really hurts a person's self-image. I hope you are fully conscious of what you've been doing.

 

Agree 100%! And if the hubby isn't worth it, then the marriage isn't, either. But nothing is worth breaking a heart and cheating on someone. Nothing.

 

Be a grown up and live up to your word. Quit your job, or ask for a promotion or some other reassignment that would get you away from this person and cut out your bullshit. Just stop it. Figure out what you miss from your husband and see if he will work with you on that. Every committed person is tempted. Be better than your basest self who only responds to primal appetites. Think.

 

Thank you. Every once in a while, I have some. LOL