I thought I was gay for so long..... wondering if anyone can relate

I find that to be the way I think of love as well.

 

yeah.... it's kind of the only thing that seems to make sense anymore. however, as i've recently found, sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love someone and have a soul connection, sometimes that relationship was never meant to be more than friendship. anything so emotionally gripping as love is bound to be confusing though, i guess.

 

After reading that I feel like giving you a hug . I agree, I think some relationships happen for us to learn how to be better lovers (not sexual). After the heartache/closure your rim for love grows higher so it's harder for someone to make a basket.... I hope that made sense.

 

................

 

thats how i feell only it changes alot its sooo confussing :/

 

i guess i could post this here since it seems to fit. i am married to a great guy. i love him and find his attractive. but other than johnny depp (they both look alike) i do not find men attractive. i only like women.

 

I thought I was gay for about two years, I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship with a woman and I think that made me think I was a lesbian.

 

Great thread... I'm also in a similar situation. (Of course, my situation is sort of the opposite of the original post)

I've always thought I was straight. I always assumed that any thoughts or attractions I had towards women were just the normal thoughts that straight people may sometimes have. Recently, however, I've come to realize that's probably not the case.

These days I have zero interest in being in a relationship with a guy. I'm just not attracted to them much anymore. I am, however, definitely attracted to and can see myself in a relationship with a woman.

 

In my opinion I'd say you're probably overthinking it.. (Which I do WAY too much). If you like someone you like them and the gender thing might be confusing but I think it's easy to get crushes on anyone. So just let whatever happens happen. Even going on a date with the guy won't mean a relationship but it could be nice to try out.

If you have any questions about liking guys or dating, PM me and I can help you. I thought I liked guys for years and have dated a few.. Now I just need to learn about the girl thing.

 

............................

 

I have never been with anyone intimately, but I still know my sexuality. My first attractions in my early teens, were towards females, and this made me think that I was probably a lesbian. By my mid to late teens, I started having really strong attractions towards men, so I started seeing myself as bi rather than a lesbian. In the time since then, I have come to realise that I am actually straight. The reason for this is that I realised my ''attractions'' to women were purely aesthetic. That I just found some other females pretty, but that was as far as it went. I've only ever really been sexually and emotionally attracted to men, and this is why I finally came to the conclusion that I'm straight. I can see the beauty in some women, but I've never had butterflies in my tummy (You all know what I mean! ) around any woman, whereas I do get that feeling when I'm around a guy I really like.

I think the teenage years can be very confusing sexually for a lot of people, and some can be too quick to slap a label on themselves. (Though that's not to say that some don't know their sexuality in their teens)

 

as a kid i was pretty sex crazed, always curious to know what was going on down there, but the more i learned about male anatomy and they way they are the more i was turned off. When I was 14 i came out ot my mom and she told me it was wrong unnatural yadda yadda, i thought i was gay for 4 years the ni met a guy i dated for 2 which lead me to think i was straight but low and behold i couldn't stop my attarction for women, cause after i left him, i've only been seeing women, and i haven't looked back. I consider myself to be a lesbian, Yeah some guys intrigue me but i don't think i could ever be emotionally attached or attracted to one, but can't rule everyone out, I have a cousin who lived a gay lifestyle for 10 years, swore up and down to be gay and then she ended up marrying a man, they are still together 5 years now.

 

Amen to that.

For me, I've been exclusively lesbian for 10 years. I met a guy this past weekend and it kinda flipped everything upside-down. Prior to coming out I had been with guys, but I never actually dated any. It just didn't appeal to me (hence why I figured out I was gay in the first place). But this guy struck a chord with me that no man before ever could. And in fact, that most women don't either! I do believe that people can fall in love with a 'soul' and not the vessel...but there is something to be said for raw sexual energy. With this guy, he's attractive, but I find myself asking if I could *sustain* a sexual relationship. Even in a poly situation. It's just not there :-/ I think women are often more fluid because we're prone to be attracted to someone's mind and the way they make us feel.

All in all, so glad I found this thread