I think I was raped

I am so sorry that this happened to you. If you need to talk to anyone, feel free to pm me. I went through a situation very similar to this a few months ago, and I know how difficult it can be. How anyone can even try to place the blame on the woman in this situation is repulsive. If you haven't already, go talk to someone about this. Again,I am so sorry that you had to endure this

 

As Sera and myself and others have said, (and is true) it is NOT a crime to be drunk. However it IS a crime to commit a rape, no matter what state you are in.


Excellent analogy to the man being shot while drunk. Why is a drunk womyn always fair game for any crime, yet a drunk man is not? Just being drunk is not anyone's right to take advantage of you in any way. If they do, they are a criminal. Most states have laws against having sex with people who are unable to give consent, whether that be due to mental problems, unconsciousness or being high or drunk.

This girl was raped.

 

But the poster is saying "it's ok I didn't say no, because I was drunk, and therefore I have no control over my actions". The woman in the other bed thought she was consenting, so she couldn't have been screaming "rape" all that loudly.

What gets me here is the double standard. A drunk woman has no control over her actions but a drunk man does. Who's to say this guy wasn't so gone he didn't know what he was doing? And if she was raped, why did she get up out of bed, go clean her teeth, and go back to bed in the same house, only to wake the next day and say, gee, I don't remember saying yes, I must have been raped?

 

She was taken advantage of and that is awful. The guy sounds like a pig. But it was not rape. Women who get so drunk that they don't know how to say "no" then claim they are rape cause problems for the real victims of violence.

 

The drunk man being shot is a lousey analogy.

As has been noted, rape is an issue of consent. Consent does not enter into murder. "He said he could kill him" is not a defence against murder, except in some 'right to die' states.

The problem with drinking and rape is the question how drunk is too drunk to consent?

In this case, it is clear that the woman did not consent. Her being drunk was neither an invitation to the man nor an excuse for his actions. Since someone brought up the issue of locking the door, let me add that her incompetance in defending herself does not excuse her attacker.

 

What if the man was so drunk he didn't understand the lack of consent thing? I don't think horrid men should be called rapists simply because of a woman's poor choices.

 

so he's horrid but not a rapist? whatever.

 

No, he's not a rapist. He did not force her, nor did she say no at any time, or even try to. For gosh sakes, the lady got up, brushed her teeth and went back to bed in the middle of the whole thing.

 

she woke up with him on her, kept passing out during it - that's not enough? man i just don't get some people. when you're passing in and out of consciouness and waking up with someone you thought you could trust forcing himself on you, it's kind of hard to think clearly and orate an 8 page essay on how he should stop.

nice guys don't force themselves on unconscious girls. rapists do.

 

It just annoys me that everyone automatically assumes that a female who has "had a few drinks" is weak and witless, yet a man is always strong and in control of his actions.

 

this is not about a few drinks. this is about BEING UNCONSCIOUS. PASSED OUT. waking up being groped and sexually assaulted by someone who is CLEARLY not unconscious (kind of hard to be forceful when you're passed out).

this new year's eve, i could have been in the same situation, except i went out with someone i was right to trust. this is someone i had even had physical contact with before. i got drunk and passed out. he was pretty drunk himself, but did he start making out with an unconscious body? no. he tucked me in to sleep and then laid down himself. that's what makes him NOT A RAPIST.

 

Not, "I drank myself into unconsiousness."

 

nevermind. be self righteous. i pray you, nor anyone you love, never has to go through the same thing.

 

Although what he did was very wrong, if you did nothing to let him know you didn't want what he was doing or try to stop him it wouldn't be conidered rape.

 

1)She never said "yes", either that night or any previous night. He could not presume that she would say "yes" if she were capable.

2)She was unable (do to drunkenness) to say "no."

3)He made no attempt to gain her consent.

4)Rape is not the presence of "no", it is the absence of "yes." Intercourse involving Rohipnol, the mentaly incompitnent and minors are all examples of rape. In each case, the woman cannot consent, even though she does not object.

 

I sure Hope things quickly change as 2005's starting w/o Rational/Logical Common Sense...

Geesh.

 

*adding a few lines to my "reasons I might get arrested" list*

 

I hope you dont mean that women have to verbally say "yes" everytime a guy has sex with them so its not rape.

 

If it does, Megara, then I've been raped dozens of times.

And no-one has yet answered my question. Why is a woman who has been drinking considered to be weak-weill and unable to have control over her desires & actions, yet a man who has been drinking is expected to be totally in control the whole time?

 

You prolly won't.

It's not a PC question...