I started another thread that you may or may not have read, but I think I have an answer that makes sense to me; however, while it would make sense to someone who values a long-term relationship, it may not make sense to someone where a long-term relationship is optional. Straight people marry or have relationships with straight people. Gay people marry or have relationships with gay people. Why shouldn't Bi people marry or have relationships with other Bi people? My idea is to just pick a partner from the gender you are more attracted to who is also Bi and who would consent to sharing other partners with each other. I think that is the best of all possible worlds. However, I have no solution for you if you are equally attracted between men and women. For me, it would make sense to have a relationship with a Bi girl who would agree to share partners just because I value personality and compatibility in the opposite sex which is more of a relationship quality while I value appearance and sensuality in a same sex relationship. I may lean slightly towards women as well, but it is close. However, like I said, it is better to choose the long-term relationship with someone who you are attracted to for relationship qualities and choose the one night stands with someone you are attracted to out of lust. Does that make sense to you? Chris
No, it doesn't. But that might be on account of you being a raging speedfreak. Maybe I just need more amphetamine.
Thanks for your concern, RooRshack. I don't find it a coincidence that you followed me to this thread to post your response. I never said I needed drugs, only that I had experimented with them. If you had read my other post then you would have gotten the point and that is that we need safer highs. Now, please stop with the stalking type behavior just because you are so annoyed with a comment someone made, it is like "road rage" to me.
In theory, there is no reason why the arrangement described by the OP should not work. In practice, very few people are happy to share partners as they come, and keep their initial relationship strong. The first obstacle may be to find a gf who would agree with the setup described by the OP. Good Luck! KD
I would agree with what you are saying, but I just analyze things to death and think that my solution makes the most sense. What works in theory often doesn't also work in practice. The compassionate idealist trying to make progress in a brutal reality is quite often frustrated. As for me, I would want some type of [semi-]permanent relationship as I am not comfortable with nor desire to get intimate with complete strangers. Some people are quite comfortable with having sex with strangers, but one must be mindful of the fact that high risk sex activity increases the risk of getting STDs. Plus there is also the consideration that you are using a person for sex rather than giving them the time of day to also get to know and respect them as individuals.
I can easily see your point when you say that you would want "some type of (semi-) permanent relationship. Many people have this with their fuck buddies of both sexes. For the rest, you are either in a relationship with someone or you are not. Very few people will be ever comfortable with the "semi" bit. It leaves them wondering where do they stand in your world. When it comes to the STDs, the chances are that you may fare better off by always wearing protection than by assuming that a semi-relationship of any kind brings any added level of protection against the STDs. I doubt that many people agree to have sex, so that they can be used by anyone. Consentual sex is always a two way street, and even though to the rest of the world it may look like that someone is being "used", they are not. They willingly agree to it for whatever their reasons may be. You will still come across, say, top dudes who like to believe that they are using their bottom guys to get their rocks off. If you talked to the bottom guy, he'd probably tell you that he has had his fair share of fun, too. He has his reasons for bottoming... You can always choose to spend time with the people whom you like and find sexually desirable. You can also show any degree of respect for them as individuals. The truth is that relatively few people who are interested in NSA sex intend to make friendships based on the fact that they enjoy having sex with you. Many people out there lead pretty busy lives, and may or may not be interested in developing friendships that are based on sexual relationships alone. KD
For me, it would make sense to have a relationship with a Bi girl who would agree to share partners just because I value personality and compatibility in the opposite sex which is more of a relationship quality while I value appearance and sensuality in a same sex relationship. I may lean slightly towards women as well, but it is close. However, like I said, it is better to choose the long-term relationship with someone who you are attracted to for relationship qualities and choose the one night stands with someone you are attracted to out of lust. Does that make sense to you? It makes sense to me, I agree that that would be ideal but as KD is saying , there isn't many people that would go for it, which sucks. So what is the solution...?
