I stopped meditating :(

Discussion in 'Yoga and Meditation' started by Neonate, May 11, 2004.

  1. Neonate

    Neonate Member

    Well then...i have not meditated in about 3 weeks now and that all started when i though i had gone crazy...seriously...When i meditated i sometimes used to during the day have these weird feelings that i was connected to the whole world and how i was in control of myself. I could see how everyone else would be in this weird world and how i would understand that i am here right now sitting and this feeling that i am actually in control of myself and i am living really freaked me out and i almost ran out of the room. When i get this feeling i can feel how something happens inside my head and i get this weird energy feel around my body and im really scared of that feeling that i might go crazy and just loose it all...Now that i've stopped meditating for few weeks i've noticed that i wont get that feeling even if i try to get it and it does not come...so i've concluded that meditation was the problem here and somehow meditation made me self conscious and made me so that i am aware of everything around me...it seems that i live in a dream world and that my life is controlled by some one else and when i get this feeling of being aware of my surroundings and being self conscious i kinda "wake up" and see that i am in reality and i am controlling this moment and i get scared and i feel like running away. Once i let this whole thing go and i ended up finding myself crying on the floor of my friends house while my brother was trying to calm me down and later on my brother told me that i had screamed that there are things coming at me and that i am in my own world and i had also screamed out that i am building another world...the only things i can remember from this was these weird hallunications that there was a hand that was building another planet and i was floating in space watching this whole thing...could this all be some sort of a chemical thing in my brain? or am i going crazy? my friend searched this and he said that it might be schizophrenia and that i should seek some mental help for this but now i've noticed that when i started meditating it all came back but i didnt let it go enough far so i would end up screaming and crying and blackingout. Now that i've stopped meditating everything is normal...i've though of meditating this night and try to see what happens...if anyone here can help me thank you :)
     
  2. Aditi

    Aditi Member

    my brother and i would talk about how there might be another planet somewhere similar to earth, but in its beginning stages. maybe life here is like a test, to see who can go to school, graduate or whatever onto the new and better earth. like the bestest from here get a chance to live there. maybe some people build up there god status and actually get put in charge of their own worlds. this is silly, but your mention of building another world triggered this memory.

    i am sure someone more knowledgable and experienced than myself will help you with an answer. you sound fine to me (gifted even), just need to control emotions if you can. existence is 'pretty trippy'. possibly it is some imbalance in the distribution of your energy throughout the body. For instance, developing the upper 'chakras' (or whatever you call them), without developing the lower ones could manifest what appears outwardly as paranoid szcichophrenia and internally leads to some intense experiences/feelings that just cannot be digested yet. (i believe you mentioned feeling intensity in your head?) try to find ways to relax and bring your energy down. these are just explanations that are helpful to me, and they may mean nothing to you.

    do you smoke?? if you do , maybe you should take a break from that, and keep meditating.

    good luck, and love to you seer
     
  3. Neonate

    Neonate Member

    :) Yes i've actually been opening the upper chakras and that might be one of the reasons that i should stop that and keep on working with the root chakra first :) and yes i smoke marijuana sometimes 1 once a week and sometimes i keep 3-4 week breaks. but the thing when i blacked out and saw these weird things was before i had started smoking weed and doing other drugs :) i've done DXM (3 times) and PCP (2 times) and dramamine (once) and opiates but those were a long time ago (over a year ago) and i havent smoked in about 5 weeks now. That whole theory of another planet sounds pretty interesting :) i hope it would be true because it would be great. I think when im gonna meditate later today im gonna only work on the root chakra
     
  4. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

    you not only stopped meditating you stopped being who you are and relied on a substance.

    Leave the substance.
     
  5. philuk

    philuk Member

    I agree with heat, if you are using marijuana it will be this. I once took it and got totally detached from reality and paranoid. Once was enough, joy comes from within, not from a plant.


    Basically it's impossible to conclude it's meditation symptons if you are taking marijuana.
     
  6. hemp_boy

    hemp_boy Member

    dude, mabye the mary-j is messing with your mind or its the charkas
     
  7. Chodpa

    Chodpa -=Chop_Chop=-

    Until one has lots of experience with meditation the illusions of the mind can take on serious weight and muddle the process and even shut it down. So this is why one needs a teacher, a teaching, and a group of people experienced in such so as to help one sift through the wheat and chaff and get to what's real. I can't tell you what sort of path to take, just that you need to practice something structured with others who are experienced.

    Just doing something from a book isn't meditating. One should rather call it the aspiration to meditate.

    You do sound very aware and evolved in the first place, so this is all the more reason to take a practice seriously and study something for real and not be a dilettante.
     
  8. fire_eye1448

    fire_eye1448 Guest

    you are dancing on the ground in your head where you percieve wether or not you are the walrus. you are YOU. sit down in the sun and think about what you would like do for other people. as these things cannot possibly be greedy you dont have to worry about selfishness in this. by thinking in earnest of things You desire to do for no profit of your own you can define for your mind where it is and where you are and where everyone else is. meditation allows you to use the mind to explore the brain. sometimes new stuff opens up or old places become connected, so then work must be done to make these new things work for you. it is ppossible you have touched the conscioussnes field i hear about or you have developed some sort of kundalini disorder. just dont give up on the good work!!! you have become so good at meditation that you have come to the realm where you can damage yourself through missteps. i suggest you read about what Patanjali has said. he's like the godfather of yoga or something.
     
  9. mikeyman

    mikeyman Member

    what kind of meditation are you doing? Try this breathing technique i'm gunna post
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpHOqjW4NEI"]20 Connected Breaths - a simple healing process (revised) - YouTube
     
  10. Khidr

    Khidr Guest

    Perhaps you began to awaken the kundalini. It is a powerful thing and can cause confusion in some.
     
  11. Chodpa

    Chodpa -=Chop_Chop=-

    Not all people who think they awaken kundalini awaken it. It is much much more rare than people think. It usually takes some kind of divodasha to a guru of the Shakta path. Not even all gurus have kundalini diksha, and it usually isn't awakened without a ritual and some small sacrifice. The connection need not cost much of anything material, it can be seva, but something must be given, and kundalini will be known. She will arise before one and say, "Look at me!" Kundalini a la Gopi Krishna, is very infrequent. Rather, often people have lousy meditation habits and training and they get caught in some cycle of thinking. They cannot transcend, they cannot samadhi beyond thought, they cannot go beyond, so they flounder. Then they read up on kundalini and they say, "Oh, must be kundalini," when in reality it is just thought, and they are perceiving the nervous system's energy of thought. Thought has energy. When one meditates one can become more aware of that energy. One might sometimes start to notice the energy behind thought all the time. That is an energy. But it is not kundalini. Not yogic kundalini. Yogic kundalini needs some training to allow it to push through to top brain centers.

    Main training involved is complete and total surrender to the glorious Devi.
     
  12. Chodpa

    Chodpa -=Chop_Chop=-

    So Buddy, I was meditating after I wrote the last post, and I was thinking more about what you wrote above. This is interesting about the hand thing. You see, when the mind disengages from the objects of the mind which are thoughts, and the energy that goes into thoughts is seen this means that the mind is working at finer levels. This is part of the process of meditation. If you keep allowing this process to work then at some point the mind will work with awareness itself and you will feel free from all of thought alltogether. That is a truely liberating state, and is the very meaning of liberation.

    But the hands. You have heard before how when someone loses a limb they develop what is called 'phantom limb.' They still feel like they have that limb, due to a negative resonance in the brain when the limb was.

    The same thing happens during higher meditative insight, where the mind which usually pushes thoughts around, when one starts noticing the thoughts for the energy that they are, one develops a phantom limb for the pushing motion of the energy. It resembles hands. This phenomenon has been noted even in the Rig Veda. Most notably the Ninth Mandala dealing with ego and soma. Which is to say that fine level of ego resembles hands pushing energy. This is all very espteric, and I point it out to you to show you there is nothing to fear in this experience. It is in the direction of liberation.

    But also, this is where it helps to have a number of friends or associates who have higher meditative insight.
     

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