When I am experiencing some kind of drug, or even when I'm drunk, I see so much cruelty and self-serving in everything everyone does (and this includes me). When I am sober, I try desperately to change that and to help people and to learn to be kind at all times (I'm starting to meditate regularly, I try to change perspectives).. but I'm so confused because when I'm stoned or whatever I always just -know- that the way I see things then is whats going on. Is this because all my serious drug experiences have been around people trying to manipulate me (and succeeding), pointing out my faults and stupid things I do and think? Are my perspectives confused? In this life do I have to choose my perspective? Is it about perspective? It makes it harder by the last teasing hint that I seem to be telling myself: No one can answer these questions for me. I'd be interested in hearing anyone's thoughts on this. p.s. I find it hard to word this as there seems to be a certain lack of words where I need them, so please have patience with my stumbling sentences.
I hear what you're saying, and concur. To a point. My drug use opened my eyes to the suffering and cruelty around me, and now I see it whether under an influence or not. A large portion of the world we live in is driven by self-serving and cruel actions. And this is very painful to see, especially if you have a heightened emotional state at the time you realize or see this darkness. But you shouldn't adopt it as a rule, because there are people out there who try not to be selfish and cruel, the trick is to find them. Good luck and peace.
no - that's paranoia! something we have all thought at some point - like what kind of level is this guy digging around my head at?! life is a game of manipulation no matter how we deny that. the trick is to play this game and be detached - make no value judgements. who is it who really thinks these things are stupid?? it's probably you projecting your own fears onto the reactions of others. your perspective remember! yea - it is all about perspective - but some perspectives are better than others. at the end of the day we all live in our own worlds but by learning to see the perspectives of other we can learn how to make our shared world where our lives and persepctives intersect a more beautiful place. at the end of day it is all about perspective but that doesn't give us all the right to be selfish (and I'm not trying to say that you are) but there is a point when you can reliase that everyone is sitting there inside their own little perspectives and this thing called the world is all of us trying to get along and get things done. it is in the world that changes are to be made, not just in ways of seeing.
I understand what you're saying, however the people I was speaking of 'dig around in people's heads' in deeper levels. they do it for entertainment they like to see paranoia. I understand that you might suspect that I'm just being paranoid in saying that
I am a reality of fear, hatred and psychosis(paranoia). This is not unusual, yet I am. Who am I? Maybe who I am. Are you a vegetarian, luv? I am seeing the things you see are very, very, very real. The drugs cause you to notice them in unsual ways, and when I am sober I am suddenly unusally aware of my actions. *herbal remedy
i know what you are saying exactly. when i am under the influence of some drugs, most recently my experience with 2C-b, although i hear this is a weaker of the 2c compunds, and not as ego-lossing, self-introspective, was extremyl psitive.i was listening to a song i can't really remeber what it was, but i was in the peak of the trip, and i had it on headphones so i could hear, see, and think of nothing else but what i wantd to think. i was all by myself when i had a realization, an epiphany if you will, of how i was living my life, that i saw manipulation, and selfishness all around me. i could see the total disease of apathy that has seemed to overtaken this world. and it had even taken over me when i really thought about it, not apathy but animosity, greed, and selfishness. i found myself recalling instances when i used people in very wrong ways just to serve myself and my best interest without anyone else's feelinngs or their life for that matter in mind. I have since made a 100% consciouss effort to try and change things like that, i try my hardest to never do things like that and it a struggle. i also noticed to the point of sickening me, the amount of apathy that there is in this world. and still when i think of it now it makes me sick. people just don't care, they just don't. for some reason people just let sickening events and things that transpire everyday just blow right past them because it "doesn't involve them" tieing it back to selfishness also. but i know what you are saying and it is good to know that there are people out there that feel the same way as i do, and that want to do something about it. and i attribute it all to "drugs" well not al lof it but alot of wool has been pulled of my eyes from substance use. anyhow thats what i have to say about that, although i feel like maybe i got off track a little for which i appologize. peace.
HerbuhLova Nope I am not vegetarian, but I've been thinking of becoming one, or perhaps quasi-vegetarian such as when I find animal products that are organic and free run and not mass-produced or humanly-testosterone-pumped I'll eat them. My family very, very rarely eats meat anyway, so it is not a blaring issue for me right now. Do you think it would help me to become one? Mr. Belvedere- That was really interesting. I have had similar experiences, though not necessarily induced entirely by the drug, but my present circumstances.. if that made any sense. And I have been 100% making concious efforts to change that. But a lot, and most of the time, and that is what really helps me right now. ..... What is pitter-pattering through my head at the moment is that almost all of paranoi-ic thoughts are truthful, but it is not that that matters, it is our reaction to them.
Vegetarians are not morally any better than non-vegetarians. I could argue this with you all day, but I can make you read Maddox first. http://maddox.xmission.com/grill.html http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi#PETA BTW I'm a vegetarian.
ouch, maddox is kinda... agressive isn't he. That essay left me speechless (haha exactly what he intended). So, out of curiousity, why are you vegetarian?
Eating meat is ineficient. It is murder. Everyone is welcome to be the butcher if they want and I welcome you to defend tyranny all day but you won't get an equal response, LoL.
here you go, my facist friend, read. (http://maddox.xmission.com/grill.html) "You think you're saving the world by eating a tofu-burger and sticking to a diet of grains and berries? Well here's something that not many vegetarians know (or care to acknowledge): every year millions of animals are killed by wheat and soy bean combines during harvesting season (source). Oh yeah, go on and on for hours about how all of us meat eaters are going to hell for having a steak, but conveniently ignore the fact that each year millions of mice, rabbits, snakes, skunks, possums, squirrels, gophers and rats are ruthlessly murdered as a direct result of YOUR dieting habits. What's that? I'm sorry, I don't hear any more elitist banter from you pompous cocks. Could it be because your shit has been RUINED? That's right: the gloves have come off. The vegetarian response to this embarrassing fact is "well, at least we're not killing intentionally." So let me get this straight; not only are animals ruthlessly being murdered as a direct result of your diet, but you're not even using the meat of the animals YOU kill? At least we're eating the animals we kill (and although we also contribute to the slaughter of animals during grain harvesting, keep in mind that we're not the ones with a moral qualm about it), not just leaving them to rot in a field somewhere. That makes you just as morally repugnant than any meat-eater any day. Not only that, but you're killing free-roaming animals, not animals that were raised for feed. Their bodies get mangled in the combine's machinery, bones crushed, and you have the audacity to point fingers at the meat industry for humanely punching a spike through a cow's neck? If you think that tofu burgers come at no cost to animals or the environment, guess again. To even suggest that your meal is some how "guiltless" is absurd. The defense "at least we're not killing intentionally" is bullshit anyway. How is it not intentional if you KNOW that millions of animals die every year in combines during harvest? You expect me to believe that you somehow unintentionally pay money to buy products that support farmers that use combines to harvest their fields? Even if it was somehow unintentional, so what? That suddenly makes you innocent? I guess we should let drunk drivers off the hook too since they don't kill intentionally either, right? There's no way out of this one. The only option left for you dipshits is to buy some land, plant and pick your own crops. Impractical? Yeah, well, so is your stupid diet." now let's hear your "LoL", come on, produce it loudly, along with proudly! ignorant FUCK!
Wow. I am opposite of you! I see the cruelty daily. The only break from it for me is when I am on shrooms, or high. One with myself. Maybe that is because i try to be good to everyone all the time and help others all the time that once I am loaded, I can see the good things I envision for the world.
