When I am experiencing some kind of drug, or even when I'm drunk, I see so much cruelty and self-serving in everything everyone does (and this includes me). When I am sober, I try desperately to change that and to help people and to learn to be kind at all times (I'm starting to meditate regularly, I try to change perspectives).. but I'm so confused because when I'm stoned or whatever I always just -know- that the way I see things then is whats going on. Is this because all my serious drug experiences have been around people trying to manipulate me (and succeeding), pointing out my faults and stupid things I do and think? Are my perspectives confused? In this life do I have to choose my perspective? Is it about perspective? It makes it harder by the last teasing hint that I seem to be telling myself: No one can answer these questions for me. I'd be interested in hearing anyone's thoughts on this. p.s. I find it hard to word this as there seems to be a certain lack of words where I need them, so please have patience with my stumbling sentences.