"I said Hello!"

I live in an apartment building and I see the same people all the time. I'm also always very much in my own head and don't pay much attention to my surroundings. I sometimes smile at people but I don't make an effort to wave and say hello. It doesn't come natural to me. It feels sort of fake. If someone does say hi to me, I say hi back. But I never initiate this. I mind my own business.

So today I was going out, walking to my car. An older man was sitting on a bench, talking on his cell phone. I did notice him. Well, he stopped me (yes, while he was having a conversation on the phone) and said "Hello!" then didn't even give me a chance to respond and just quickly followed with "You don't talk to people, do you??" I guess I just sort of gave him a puzzled look. Then he said again, "I said Hello!" I took offense to this and thought he was being condescending. So I snapped back "HI!" actually kind of rudely, lol, I don't know, natural reaction.

The situation just rubbed me the wrong way. And apparently I had rubbed him the wrong way by not saying hi to him while he was having a conversation on the phone. Wouldn't it have been rude for me to interrupt his conversation if I would have said hi?? I only went out to pick up some food so I was back in ten minutes. He was still sitting on the bench when I got back. I almost went around to a different entrance to avoid him. I ended up just passing him again and just ignoring him. I just saw him ten minutes ago, do you think he would expect another hi??

Why are some people like this though? I have no obligation to say hi to anyone. Especially if I might be having a bad day, or maybe I just don't feel like interacting with anyone. While this man maybe thinks he's friendly, I actually found it rude that he was pretty much saying my silence makes him uncomfortable. He's acting like something is wrong with me because I like to mind my own business. I'm introverted and don't like small talk.

Something else I've noticed that I thought I'd mention, when I was living in Seattle, everyone seemed to keep to themselves. I liked this. Maybe it's the weather. People might smile at each other sometimes, but there was no extravagant waving and saying hello. Also in New York, though I was only there a day, people seemed to keep to themselves. People are way more "friendly" in California.

Thoughts?

 

make up one of those deaf people cards and hand him one tomorrow

then you wont have to say hello anymore

 

I don't understand the importance some people place on being "friendly" and saying hello to everyone. For some people it might come naturally, but for me, unless the person passes by me or is directly in front of me, I find it an unnecessary effort to say hello to everyone within a stone's throw. It does seem rather fake to me, especially when I otherwise wouldn't have anything to say to the person.

But who cares what people think. I am sure there are plenty of people who find me strange because I am a rather quiet person and don't really speak unless I have good reason to.

 

People in non-friendly cities crave friendly people! It's sort of ironic that is also occurs in the opposite.

I, personally, don't say hello to anyone unless they say hello first. I don't really care. I've come to accept that a lot of people are more outgoing than me, so I try and just go by the individual.

 

I've said hello before...

 

Unless you are in a crowd, everyone says "hi" or "how are you" here.
If I said hi to someone and they didn't say anything back, I would not have thought about it twice. I don't believe anyone is obligated to return a hi.

 

How did he "stop you" as you were walking by, did he stand up in front of you?

 

shouted at me

 

Should have maced his rude ass! Or clocked him with your purse. What a rude SOB.

 

I love visiting unfriendly lands. New York is heaven to me for that reason. People wave at random people they don't know on the streets here. I find it extremely awkward when I'm out taking a walk. My normal reaction is to just avoid eye contact and keep walking but its pretty much expected to make eye contact and wave or say hello.

I've never been the neighborly type. I've never lived in an apartment complex but I doubt I would ever talk to any of my neighbors if i did.

 

I live in a friendly neighborhood. Lots of dog walkers, cyclist, joggers and passers-by. More often than not people will say good morning, good evening or hello. It suits me, I like it.

It does seem really weird to demand your attention and even more weird to demand your attention while he's on the phone. A simple hello of acknowledgement is usually without expectation. I think I'd feel exactly the way you did.

 

The advantage of living in a single family house is you don’t have to deal with anyone, except the occasional wave to the neighbor across the street or next door.

We do have a block party one every year in the fall which is uncomfortable but we’re all expected to attend so we pretend we like each other for a few hours – then it’s adios amigos until next fall :2thumbsup:


Hotwater

 

stay high and hi won't make you low

 

ha ha, best advice I've gotten today

 

Hmm.. That is kind of an awkward social situation. I'm socially awkward and I especially hate when social outgoing people force themselves on others who are not, and can't or don't want to understand that not everyone is like them. I'm always very polite, but if people are trying to be social or annoying and I don't feel like buying in, I just ignore or pretend I didn't hear them talking. One might think this sounds rude, but living in a big city, it helps. Especially when dealing with crazies.

Similar story OP... I was working in retail years ago, was standing behind the counter with my boss. This guy walks in and my boss says, "Good morning." And the guy replies, "Hey." And goes about his business. A perfectly normal 'I don't need help' kind of response I thought...

So my boss says, "I said good morning." And the guy says, "I heard you."
My boss -"When someone says good morning to you, you say good morning back. Not a 'Hey,."

Was weird and awkward. Needless to say the guy walked out.

 

I live in a small town and live in the house I grew up in so a lot of people know who I am. People seem to be drawn to saying hello or something. Ninety percent of the time I don't mind saying something but there are times when I'm like "I don't know you, we have nothing in common. Why do you want to talk to me."
Cities is seems you can be more anonymous. It's like you said Seattle people will smile and move on. NYC they don't even look at you.

 

i don't get the mandatory acknowledgment, but i am aware that it is unavoidable in certain areas. i just compromised by perfecting the head nod.

 

I usually ignore most people I don't know and they do the same..cuz it's a likely case their about to come with some bullshit or something. A lot of times here the hello will be taken awkwardly if it's a random person.

 

lol. True.

 

I live in my house on the edge of town so my neighbors tend to say Hi lots or nod as they drive by my yard if I am out on the road, my yard is surrounded by 17 ft cedars so they would have to come in the yard to say hi or walk by.
I don't know my neighbors by name and that's a good thing, for me anyway.
In town they nod lots or say hi and people tend to hold doors open but we are a small city still with lots of families still around from generations back.
Supposedly it's one of the hardest cities in Canada to live in because of living cost and expenses and such and people say only the ones with money live here still but I don't find people to be rude and I love it here. I don't find it hard at all and I want to stay here till I die.

This doesn't work for hello but next time someone says Hi and pushes you for one back say,,, Not yet, are you? I do it lots, just for a laugh. Some people laugh or smile and some look at me stunned.