Thank you to all who read this and are able to offer some help. I am completely overwhelmed in my marriage. My husband seems to have some kind of personality disorder, and needs to be in complete control 100% of the time. I feel that so long as I am doing exactly what is expected of me then I am loved, but step one foot out of line and he rains terror and fear on me and my children. He can can go from appearing to be the most loving husband and father, makes school lunches and my lunch for work, to being something that we are frightened of. He is a heavy drinker and at times I have come to understand that he needs an excuse to drink and if he doesn't have one then he causes a huge argument and subsequently drinks himself into the ground. During times like this he will often tell me that he is now free to do what he wants to do, I assume by that he wants to have sex with other women. I am very much torn between his Jekyll and Hide character. I very much love the sweet side to him but live in fear of this darkness which seems to engulf him. At the moment I am overwhelmed to the point of feeling immobilised. I am willing to put in the work to make our marriage work, but sometimes I feel that I am the only one putting in the effort. Thank you if anyone can give me a bit of direction.
1 Be assured. This is not a unique problem. Many have gone through this, and there is a definite well defined solution 2 I understand - he loves all of you as well. He is a typical victim of DXB lifestyle. He must be aware of this and unable to help himself. 3 You need to be on his side, supporting him, without losing your control, and taking care of him like a child. 4 Whatever way you can force upon him, stop him from drinking. This is root cause of many of the problems. 5 I believe you have strong family support from back home. Involve seniors in your family, in putting pressure on him. Have courage, keep discussing and un- burden yourself in anon forums like this. It si essential for your well being- which is a basic necessity. I am not sure if you are in DXB or SHJ but where ever you are find out and join Art of Living Basic Part-1 Course. (I am not advertising on their behalf. It will definitely give new direction)
