I really need help with this.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by BellaItalia77, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. BellaItalia77

    BellaItalia77 Member

    Its been far too long since I've posted in these forums.. but there is a good reason for that, and her name is Shaina. I met her in November, and we have been together ever since.

    I realize that not everyone is comfortable with my lifestyle (obviously, lesbian) ..So if you can't see past that, please just ignore this post.

    We've hit a bump in the road. Yesterday, Shaina's dad called her because she stayed all weekend with me at my house, like she usually does, and something came up. Apparently, someone has threatened to call DHS on him because she is gay and he lets her spend several days with me at a time, and I live an hour away. She is 16, and I turned 18 in August. The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, so there is no problem there. Her staying with me shouldn't be a problem either.. it doesn't effect her life - she maintains straight A's, she has good attendence in school, she has an active social life and plays basketball for her high school, and she hasn't had any run-ins with the law. She lives in a small town, full of small minded people who aren't really used to different lifestyles.. so that is why all this has come up. My roommate called her aunt, who used to work for DHS..and she said that there is no precendent or grounds for whoever it is to call DHS on Shaina's dad based on these things. If she is still going to school and being "good", there is no reason for our relationship to end. I'm going to check into it further, but I was wondering if I could get some opinions on this. She is definitely worth fighting for, but we are respecting her dad by agreeing to not see eachother for a while until this stuff blows over. He doesn't have a problem with Shaina being gay or being in a relationship with me, but he is freaked out about losing his daughter..and that is perfectly understandable. I don't really know what else to do, except contact someone from DHS to see if there is ANY way that our relationship could cause problems for her father..get it in writing, and give it to him. Can I get any suggestions about what we should do, and how I should handle this situation?

    Thank you in advance for any support or advice any of you can give me.

  2. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    wow what a tough situation. I think that you need to make some phone calls and find out what's going on. As you say she's a good girl and does well in school so what is it of anyone's business to ask where she is on the weekends? Call and find out what's legal and what's not and give these facts to her dad. Like you said, he just's concerned about losing her. I don't see why you need to tell them you're gay either. that's frankly no one's business and it's certainly not illegal. She's 16 and it's not as if she's too young to be staying places a few days at a time. Look into it, explain your situation with as many details as you feel you need to provide and give the facts to here dad as well. I really don't think there's any harm in the situation at all and I believe the law is on your side here.

    Good luck to you and let us know how everything turns out!
  3. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    uck, this pisses me off so much! I'm so sorry you and your girlfriend are having this problem! I'm also going through a similar problem except the problem is with my boyfriend, the police, my redneck neighbors and me. They constantly call the cops and make accusations at us. The police harrash us on a daily basis because we are hippys basically. We live most of the time in a red,green and yellow camper with a big peace sign on the side. We decided to visit my mom and live with her for a little while to get our stuff in life together. The neighbors had the nerve to even open our camper doors and let our dog out and steal my childerns shoes, socks, and toothbrushes. We live by two big highways so we were so angry and they did nothing about it. Instead later that night after we filed a complaint they came to knock on the side of the rv (which my bf sleeps in at night for space purposes). The officer said you know I can arrest you, the neighbors dont want you here. They want you to leave! Well fuck that, this is my home and I will not be pushed out by close minded assholes who don't know me. Because of all this bullcrap I currently have a warrant out, over 200 dollars in fines, my bf was arrested, has a court dates and fines. I am so angry. My only advice is to call and tell them your problem before it is reported again or they will never believe your side. You and her dad together. Show them you are both mature and nothing is going to change your sexual prefrence and you don't care who knows. Good luck to you. Honestly they can't do anything about it. They will prob interview her dad and her, see her life is fine, check out her grades see they are fine and besides that they can do nothing. They def. can't tell her to change her sexual prefrence so I don't anyone has anything to worry about.
  4. Hikaru Zero

    Hikaru Zero Sylvan Paladin

    (Hey Earthy Mama, you're from Quakertown? Here's a shout-out from Northampton! =D )

    Bella: Sounds like you've got a little situation on your hand, but don't worry ... I seriously doubt that the solution is different from just brushing the problem off of your shoulders and not worrying too much about it. If there is nobody stopping you from being together, and there is no reason to worry (say, low grades or something like that), then whoever is calling the DHS is just a person who doesn't like the two of you being together; not necessarily because it's you and your friend, but perhaps because they dislike lesbian relationships?

    I guess I shouldn't tell you what to do, but if I were a girl and in your situation, I'd just keep doing what I normally do, and disregard any idle threats, because there is no substance behind them at all. You're not in violation of any laws, and you have every right to see your friend. =) So just brush it off, realize that someone doesn't like you (not that it should bother you; there are tons of people who don't like me =P haha), and keep living the way you want to! =)

    Good luck.
  5. BellaItalia77

    BellaItalia77 Member

    Thank you all for your replies. :D Thankfully, we helped her dad realize that the threats had no substance, and he's okay now. She gets to spend all of next weekend with me, so those uptight hicks can take THAT. I'm so glad the drama is over with. Again, I just wanted to thank you all.. I was really freaking out and the people here always seem to be able to mellow me out. :)
  6. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    yay! I'm glad everything worked out and things are back to normal!
  7. Hikaru Zero

    Hikaru Zero Sylvan Paladin

    Hey, yeah man, you can always count on the Hip Forums to shed light where there is none!

    Hell yeah! WHOO! Haha!

    Okay, I'm awake now.

    Well, congratulations on conquering that little situation, and have fun this weekend! =D

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