I really dislike babies and toddlers

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by Professor Jumbo, Aug 21, 2005.

  1. Professor Jumbo

    Professor Jumbo Mr. Smarty Pants

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    I cannot understand why supposedly sane rational people get all gooy-eyed and stupid around babies. Bring one of those nasty, filthy, vomit-covered, screaming, crying, shit machines into a room and suddenly everybody starts acting like one. No matter how disgusting, smelly, or replusive the damn thing is folks just can't seem to shut the f**k up about how "wuderfuwwy cute and cuddly-wuddly the wittle baby-wabbie is. Aww yes, who's the little cuttie wuttie, who's the cute wittle babbie awwwwww, gooooggoowwooblahblah" Almost as nasty, and at times more nasty are toddlers. The real operative difference between a babie and a toddler is that while the baby's foul filth is generally self-contained, the toddler manages to get it's foul filth EVERYWHERE. There are too damned many of us as it is, and every single one of these breeders running around seems to think that their little chunk of hell-spawned vermin is some great gift to the world. Yes, somehow breeders have convinced themselves that non-breeders should be grateful for the chance to listen to their personal shrieking demon in resturants, on airplanes and busses, on the street, etc. There is this coffe shop that I sit outfront of sometimes (they have tables set up outside) and at least once a week some obnoxious breeder will come by pushing everybody into the street or up against buildings with loud shouts of BABY COMING THROUGH BABY COMING THROUGH EXCUSE ME EXCUUUUUUSE ME YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE NOW BABY COMING THROUGH!! Who do these people think they are, seriously. Should we really treat breeders like royalty simply because they couldn't figure out how to put the condom on, or maybe because they felt it was their personal duty to contribute to the over-population problem? $500 per-child tax credit!? I say there should be a $500 per-child tax. That way maybe those of us with more sense won't have to have our taxes raised all the danm time on account of there being more babies to pay for all over the place.


    P.S. this has been essentially a joke, though I do genuinely find babies to be shockingly repulsive, and breeders to be a bit lacking in common sense. Also, specifically obnoxious breeders are, well, obnoxious. But then that kind of person probably would have been obnoxious anyway.
     
  2. 1. you should need a liscense to breed
    2. babies are indeed evil
    3. people in wheelchairs get the same treatment....... I've used this a lot, because of my dad I've never waited more than 5 minutes at the dmv....
    4. I know I'm a bad person for exploiting my fathers handicap, I don't really care.....
     
  3. StonerBill

    StonerBill Learn

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    man i totally hear ya, i fuckin hate babies, theyre not cute, they ALL LOOK THE SAME?!?! DOESNT ANYBODY REALISE THATS PART OF THE POINT OF BABIES???

    what i dont understand is why people value the life of a baby over that of a young man for example. I think that killing a young man is so much worse than killing a baby that killing babies should be a different, lesser off crime.

    now i dont condone killing anyone, but babies are nothing, theyre no more human than an animal, less in fact than some fully grown animals which can do more and have more of a personality and a LIFE to lose than babies. i dont condone killing animals either but for baby death to be seen as like the worst thing ever, it just is illogical.
     
  4. Libertine

    Libertine Guru of Hedonopia

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    "$500 per child tax credit...":

    Hitler gave couples a marriage loan and then deducted so much off if they had babies.
     
  5. mystical_shroom

    mystical_shroom acerbic

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    i dont hate babies or toddlers but I hate teens...
     
  6. -steve-

    -steve- Member

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    Yeah babies are pretty gross, but I think they can be cute when they're not screaming crying vomiting drooling or shiting themselves.
     
  7. IronGoth

    IronGoth Newbie

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    *shrugs*

    Don't like em, don't have em.

    You'll never enjoy the beauty of having your own flesh and blood look at you with unrequited love in his or her eyes and smile at you with an absolutely beatific grin.
     
  8. YellowBellyHippy

    YellowBellyHippy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    wow *I* agree with IronGoth!

    I just love life in all of its forms. Babies, the elderly, plants, animals... its all beautiful. Its what makes our Earth a wonderful place to be! And as we are raising our children its important to support parents and children...we are growing our next leaders,artists,activists,ect......

    To say you hate babies is to say you hate life.

    Im sorry you feel this way and I hope that you find happiness in life itself.
     
  9. Oz!

    Oz! Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Wots wrong with bairns? bairns are cool....in fact....I used to be one :D
     
  10. TheLizardQueen

    TheLizardQueen horny for knowledge

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    I know how ya feel. I'm hate how people look at me like I'm evil or something because i hate kids
     
  11. telepylus

    telepylus Banned

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    babies and toddlers are the purest most perfect expression of god in the entire universe.

    i would beware of people who dislike babies.

    and when toddlers act up, don't blame the kid, blame the parents.
     
  12. synaptic aether

    synaptic aether Member

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    i dislike stinky ugly babies.
    i like good smelling cute babes.
     
  13. telepylus

    telepylus Banned

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    i flirt with babies everytime i see one.

    it's especially fun when the parents don't notice us flirting.
     
  14. YellowBellyHippy

    YellowBellyHippy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    WTF????????????????
     
  15. synaptic aether

    synaptic aether Member

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    lol
     
  16. IronGoth

    IronGoth Newbie

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    I don't have a problem with you disliking kids.

    The only time I've ever pulled a "coming through!" is when the entire SIDEWALK in front of a coffeeshop is choked with kids spitting on the sidewalk and smoking, holding their cigs at stroller level. And they see us and refuse to move.
     
  17. Sebbi

    Sebbi Senior Member

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    I never really hated babies but I do see your point. However - you'll realise the joy of babies once you love one.

    My cousin was born recently, she's about 5 months old and although it's still in the works, I might be her godfather.

    Anyway - I LOVE HER TO PIECES. She is the cutest thing in the world wide world and I'm not accepting any different.

    Seriously - you'll get a fair way through puberty and therefore develop paternal/maternal instincts, suddenly a baby will be born who actually seems like a relevant addition to your life and boom. The formula for loving babies in inescapable. You'll see the light soon enough.

    Blessings

    Sebbi
     
  18. Sebbi

    Sebbi Senior Member

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    LMAO!!!

    My uncle is always saying that about my cousin - whenever she meets someone new I hear him saying "god she's such a bloody flirt isn't she."
     
  19. PurpleGel

    PurpleGel Senior Member

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    the "gooey" pitch-shifting tone that adults use around babies is actually helpful to the baby. this sort of talk allows their brains to develop and replicate language more readily than when listening to a typical monotonal adult voice. there are, however, boundaries to this "ga-ga-goo-goo" sort of babble; too much of it will eventually hinder the baby's language acquisition, as will using that tone of voice after about the first year or so of the baby's life.
     
  20. nicelytoasted

    nicelytoasted Member

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    babies have their bad points, but when you become a parent, all that seems meaningless in the instant they hold your finger with their little hand or toddle along smiling like mad :)
     

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