I often wonder how many of us get so excited about meetups but...

... but flake on a date after it has been made? This has happened to me countless times and each time I imagine he flaked because of fear or guilt or both. It's frustrating making plans to meet and being where you are supposed to be and he never shows up, does not call or text. don't you think that is the act of a coward? Or are some of us men just getting jollies seeing a man go to great effort to make a date work and then flaking on him just for the fun of it?

I like to make dates, meet a new man who has the potential of being close to me, a future lover. The first time with someone new is so exciting for me and I always feel that the first time will not be the last time. It's not like "Oh, I'll check him out in bed and then put another notch onto my belt." That's not for me.

How many of you have flaked on a date? How many go into a date hoping it won't be another one-night stand?

 

I have had that happen a few times and I kind of gave up

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

I have had made dates and the guy just flaked out on me or they don’t show up it’s not a good feeling and it is hard to trust some sites and people.

 

If I don't show up for a meet, there's a damned good reason why - and I have the common courtesy to contact you and let you know that I can't make it and why. I am proud to say that I have never flaked on a guy; we're meeting tomorrow at 2? I'll be there at 1:30 to wait and see if you're really going to show up. I do get excited for them, but I never get my hopes up and I learned long ago not to have any expectations or I'm not about putting the cart before the horse. I'll be there unless I really can't and it's rare that I can't be there.

Show up and let's see where we can go from there. Will it be a one-night stand? I hope so since I'm not in the market for a boyfriend or even an FWB, but we can talk about that... but you have to show up for that. And I am a "sex on the first date" kind of guy... because why the fuck not?

Like everything else about this, it can be a crapshoot; you win some, you lose even more and that's just how it goes when you're out there and playing the game and... you can't win if you don't play.

 

I've been guilty of "chickening out" a few times myself. I'll generally at least write back and tell them I lost my nerve before they waste their time waiting for me to show up.
It seems that I always keep getting replies from the guys that only want to "put another notch on their belt"!!!

 

I know how that goes.

 

We continue to live in a sexual world where guys just want to "hit it and quit." Maybe, if you're lucky, they'll want to come back for more but, nah, probably not unless they can't find someone to be with when they need to be with somebody. This whole "I need more than that" situation is, on the one hand, understandable while, on the other, gets in the way of the way it usually is, i.e., I show, we do the deed, thanks, and if I never see you again, it's not really personal but who knows what the future holds? What it doesn't hold for "belt notchers" is getting into anything that a relationship and for some guys, even having a suck/fuck buddy is "too much" for them. I've felt that a lot of this is due to the refractionary period of sex, i.e., we bust a nut and we're done with sex for x-amount of time and a lot of it is, well, I just want to get my rocks off with you and thank you very much... but you might not see me again because there are a lot of dicks out there requiring my attention.

And if that sounds fucked up, trust me - it isn't. It's just the way it can be, and some guys may not be all that excited to meet up with a guy who's just going to bust a nut and vanish as if he never existed. Now, if this can make a guy chicken out of a meet, I'd not find it all that unusual but, yeah, there are guys out there who just want to nut in you, or you nut in them and... see ya (no, not really), it was fun.

 

It would just be nice if people were upfront about their intentions to begin with. I wouldn't be disgusted or discouraged if I met up with someone that said he was interested in a FWB relationship and then, after we had our fun one of us decided it didn't seem right. At least we were honest with each other to start. That's why I generally want to meet and talk first.

 

I require video chat prior to meeting. 100% easy to sort out the flakes this way, and there are plenty.

 

Well, before the internet and in the very early beginnings of the World Wide Web, guys were upfront and honest until they figured out, they could lie and be assholes while hiding behind their screens and keyboards and making promises they had no intentions on keeping or telling you one thing then flipping the script on you when meeting... and if they even showed up. Once this changed the face of things M2M - and prior to this, you really did have to meet and sit with a guy face-to-face and ask what his intentions were, and other necessary things that would lead to the both of you getting naked and... doing what boys like to do - you either gave up trying to find a willing and honest man amongst the literal millions of guys online or you stayed the course and kept at it because you knew the law of averages demands that there are guys out there who are open, honest, and upfront about their intentions. Prior to the internet days, guys were willing to "try each other on for size" to see if they were just going to be a one-time thing or something that resembles today's FWB.

Even with the way things have turned out, I still get excited to meet up with a guy and I get a kick out of guys hitting on me and trying to pick me up and especially those guys who are old enough to be one of my grandchildren...

 

I still do a fair bit of personals for kinks that I normally don't get to have. I DO meet a few women here and there but far more who don't respond after the first contact. Some have become virtual friends even to the point of pic sharing, etc. They were more excited about the prospect of an adult meetup than actually doing it. One has three kids and an uncaring husband so she's stretched for time and tired. We do sext a little and will prob meet one of these days for a drink. She wants to wear a skirt with no panties and meet a stranger. We sext about that a lot. But we started with plans to take a room and have some fun. She needs a man or at least a good fucking from her husband.

 

I've never flaked on any date let alone one where the opportunity for sex was almost certain.

 

I retired from all the insincerity and horse excrement.

 

I'm guilty of this, especially if the plans were made on a dating app. I make the plans all excited and ready and just loose interest and don't care when it actually comes to the meet up.

 

We love to do first meet up’s, because we a a social couple. That said, It’s important to properly vet prior to the meet up. Ask the right questions beforehand to eliminate flakes and fakes.

 

I keep an ad up on doublelist pretty much all the time, it's pretty clear what I'm looking for. I get probably 5-6 emails a month from guys, in my experience about 1 in 30 will actually end up meeting for some fun. Lots will email back and forth for a few days then chicken out. Most just ghost after a message or two. A handful come off as creepy or have some weird fetish that I'm not really comfortable with, and there's always a few that just can't ever seem to work out due to our schedules or distance from each other.
I can't really recall a time where I "flaked", there has been a few times when I couldn't make it to our planned meet up because my availability changed, but I always let them know.